Discussion Things won’t get better

[lostmylove]

At what point did you realise that things won't get better.

It's a sober realisation that most people who face dying have to accept.


I'm curious how many people drifted on knowing this and if so how long for.

Or are most people coming to this conclusion recently.

For me I've tried to make best of it for 18 months. It's got progressively worse and now I'm facing extremely traumatic situation.

If I died 18 months ago, I would of not only not hurt many people but I would not of had to face this situation I'm in now.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, I have never really wanted to live. For such a long time, I have came to the conclusion that my life is not worth living and that life is just pointless, unnecessary suffering. There is nothing that could ever make me want to live and I know that things will only get worse. I just prefer the sound of non existence. To me it is horrifying the thought of potentially having many decades left as I am only in my early 20's. I'm sorry that things are so hopeless. I understand that this life can be unbearable when you are suffering so much. I wish you the best.

 

[lostmylove]

In my case, I have never really wanted to live. For such a long time, I have came to the conclusion that my life is not worth living and that life is just pointless, unnecessary suffering. There is nothing that could ever make me want to live and I know that things will only get worse. I just prefer the sound of non existence. To me it is horrifying the thought of potentially having many decades left as I am only in my early 20's. I'm sorry that things are so hopeless. I understand that this life can be unbearable when you are suffering so much. I wish you the best.

I may have 50, 60 years left it's unimaginable. Going through all this pain for that long so you can eventually die in a cancer ward at 82. No thanks.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

When my girlfriend left about a year ago everything collapsed including illusions that had kept me going for many years….

 

[lostmylove]

When my girlfriend left about a year ago everything collapsed including illusions that had kept me going for many years….

I'm sorry to hear that. My love of my life died last week stuff is never easy. :(

 

[Lost Magic]

I died a long time ago. I would say my mental health and everything got worse when my mother was dying from cancer and then my uncle died from dementia. Life has only went further downhill since. I woke up late tonight with the worst feeling of dread and existential anxiety. Now, that I am blessed to have N, I am more determined than ever to die this year. Sorry you are going through this pain. You are not alone in feeling troubled about everything. I just wish that you and everybody find better ways of coping with life than I have. It's game over for me!

 

[lostmylove]

I died a long time ago. I would say my mental health and everything got worse when my mother was dying from cancer and then my uncle died from dementia. Life has only went further downhill since. I woke up late tonight with the worst feeling of dread and existential anxiety. Now, that I am blessed to have N, I am more determined than ever to die this year. Sorry you are going through this pain. You are not alone in feeling troubled about everything. I just wish that you and everybody find better ways of coping with life than I have. It's game over for me!

it's also game over for me. I want to approach it in a way where I'm sad and I can go to the afterlife happy knowing I'm going to see my partner again. But right now I'm still at the stage where I have fears and worries.

I think that could be due to the fact I'm actually doomed and there's no hope or nobody who will save me though.

I Still got 45-50 days left I think to overcome this

 

[Lost Magic]

it's also game over for me. I want to approach it in a way where I'm sad and I can go to the afterlife happy knowing I'm going to see my partner again. But right now I'm still at the stage where I have fears and worries.

I think that could be due to the fact I'm actually doomed and there's no hope or nobody who will save me though.

I Still got 45-50 days left I think to overcome this

Sorry you are going through this immense pain. Grieving your partner must be agonising. Why 45-50 days. You don't have to say if it makes you uncomfortable. Just curious as to the narrow time frame?

 

[lostmylove]

Sorry you are going through this immense pain. Grieving your partner must be agonising. Why 45-50 days. You don't have to say if it makes you uncomfortable. Just curious as to the narrow time frame?

Their birthday. Haven't worked out exact number because last few days have been a blur but I think it's 48

 

[deathbydragon]

If I died 18 months ago, I would of not only not hurt many people but I would not of had to face this situation I'm in now.

Very relatable...by leaving the inevitable until now, I'm going to hurt many more people.

 

[barelys4ne]

I've realized how much it would take to get out of the hole that I'm in now from coping about my trauma, insecurities, and life situations. I think it all collapsed in 2019 for me, I had to deal with a bunch of traumatic situations at once alongside my own mental issues and abusive household

There was no escaping till I moved out and I did but my mental scarring is too much and I don't have the health insurance to cover for trauma therapy, ever since then I could barely be stable. I don't love myself or have any hope for the future, the older I get the more I realized how much I was neglected and abused by my parents. I can't really keep up with all the adult responsibilities with my issues for too long

My time is close

 

[downndone2]

I'm sorry to hear you're going thru such a difficult time. I feel like I've been dead for almost 3 years now and I wish everyday that I would just die. I was so full of life until I ruined everything

 

[ClownMe]

Maybe a year or so ago.

 

[Everybody_yells]

I'm not going to lie. I shuffle between thoughts of ctb and recovery (existing rather) every now and then. Heck you might find my posts in both these sections.
As you said illusions are what it was. I was clouded by them. So sometimes I feel like ending things and sometimes something pushes me to discover myself because all this while I was someone I was not.

The illusions kept me amongst the average people, clouded, ignorant, for over 25 years, and the reality has struck from the past 2 years. To live with it or die in despair is still to be seen !