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Lizerd

Lizerd

New Member
Mar 12, 2023
3
Every second of my life is torture and I know it won't ever get better, part of that is just my situation but other parts is just my character being fucked and horrible and stupid and ruining every chance I get to at least have a bit of fake happiness, yet everyone around me says there's always a chance to be better and I have to live for that. How can a person say that when they have never lived as me. I know there isn't a chance but everyone will try to convince me otherwise. I think they're all liars or just haven't thought hard enough. Everyone who tells me this just wants to keep me alive so THEY can keep talking to me and because THEY don't want to lose me. I don't think they're actually try to emphasise with me for even a second all they care about is keeping me alive so I can keep on people pleasing everyone I talk to and keep on being funny and keep on doing everything I can to make other people laugh or just be happier. But I hate that. Some of them say death is horrible and life is precious so I should keep living but how tad they know? They've never died. And maybe THEYRE life is precious but mine isn't I don't hold any love for the life I live I would do anything to make it go away, and death is a natural part of the cycle of life so why does it matter if I speed it up. Why are people trying to decide what I should do with my own body it's MY body and MY choice so why are THEY telling ME what to do with it what happened to bodily autonomy. I should be able to die so I can finally stop suffering but they force me to stay because they hate the thought of me not making them happy anymore, even if I'm in pain and fighting for a worthless future the whole time, is that not selfish? Suicide isn't selfish them FORCING me to stay is selfish. Maybe if I wasn't such a people pleaser I would've finally jumped by now but instead I just hang outside my window instead and fantasize about a death everybody around me refuses to let me have. I hope I don't start hating them. Do u guys ever feel the same? Do u ever feel like they're selfish or am I a close minded idiot. What do u guys think
 
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Ijustcantanymore

Ijustcantanymore

Experienced
Nov 22, 2024
237
I think it's very selfish. It's because people believe they have some right to your life. Your existence. They believe they have the right to demand that you suffer for their sake. They're afraid to feel pain and loss, so they try to guilt you to stay purely for their own selfish sake.

I say bullshit. Your life is yours. Always has been. Always will be. You don't owe anyone your life or your suffering.

I feel trapped here. Just like you. I do feel resentment towards the people that keep trying to keep me here.
 
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AnimeSlayersFan

AnimeSlayersFan

Student
Jul 18, 2025
125
Even before reading all your post, yes. Wanting to control the actions of others as if they were their own is an inherently selfish act.
Like a little boy that wants the other kids to play with him when they are not in the mood, people who try to "prevent suicides" are exercising the same childishness.

I now continue my reply having read the rest of your post. And nope, you are not the bad guy here, you are not the asshole. You have all the power to make choices by yourself, the biggest of those choices being, when to log out of this simulation we call life, just like you plug out of a stale videogame, or spit out some rancid food. You die either way, and you can go in multiple ways and times. Don't let others choose for you. Think about what YOU want to do.
 
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_Gollum_

_Gollum_

Formerly Alexei_Kirillov
Mar 9, 2024
1,691
Yes and no. It's selfish for them to want you to suffer more just to prevent their own suffering (grief). My favourite definition of "love" is "to will the good of the other," and in some cases, that means letting someone end their pain once and for all. So I think an unselfish love would not be against CTB.

But it's also the case that many pro-lifers genuinely believe that you lose out on something when you die, and so from their perspective, they think they're doing you a favour by preventing your suicide. If you are young they may also be ageist and believe that you aren't mentally capable of making that choice for yourself yet, and so their desire to prevent your CTB comes from a paternalistic benevolence, from wanting to make sure that you're able to experience happiness in the future.
 
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Lizerd

Lizerd

New Member
Mar 12, 2023
3
Even before reading all your post, yes. Wanting to control the actions of others as if they were their own is an inherently selfish act.
Like a little boy that wants the other kids to play with him when they are not in the mood, people who try to "prevent suicides" are exercising the same childishness.

I now continue my reply having read the rest of your post. And nope, you are not the bad guy here, you are not the asshole. You have all the power to make choices by yourself, the biggest of those choices being, when to log out of this simulation we call life, just like you plug out of a stale videogame, or spit out some rancid food. You die either way, and you can go in multiple ways and times. Don't let others choose for you. Think about what YOU want to do.
Exactly!!! If i dont enjoy it why should i keep putting myself through it with no gain!!!!
 
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Ijustcantanymore

Ijustcantanymore

Experienced
Nov 22, 2024
237
Exactly!!! If i dont enjoy it why should i keep putting myself through it with no gain!!!!
This exactly! I don't find any of this to be precious or sacred. And if it's a gift. I'd like to return it.
 
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CTB set me free

CTB set me free

Chief Commander Cheesy Beef Burrito Supreme
Jul 16, 2025
10
Yes it is selfish of them if your life is indeed torture, especially if they don't try to genuinely connect with you in any meaningful way and they just say useless things in a way to guilt trip you into staying alive. That being said maybe you have blockages in the body that don't allow the energy to flow to your happiness or pleasure centers of your brain. Maybe a week or heck even a 30 day juice fast could pulverize those blockages and you might experience joy for no reason like you've never felt before. Who knows, it might be worth a try.
 
theboy

theboy

Illuminated
Jul 15, 2022
3,416
People want to save others in spite of the suffering they see
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,337
I really understand as I also find it so torturous to exist and I see so much cruelty in how some humans wish to imprison others in this existence forcing them to suffer until death takes away all anyway, to me they are selfish, it really is so horrible to me how we exist in this anti-suicide world where the suffering and torture of existing is seen as to force and prolong no matter what, I just wish for no more pain and no more suffering, all I want is to never exist again.
 
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unluckysadness

unluckysadness

Enlightened
Jul 9, 2025
1,219
i think it's selfish but absolutely normal because nobody wants to see someone die, especially family or friends
 
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