FadingPossum
Sleeping in the stars ~
- Apr 11, 2023
- 15
I'm honestly not sure what possessed me to revisit this account but I'm back and just want to say that I've been doing a lot better!
I tried ketamine therapy and I don't know if I experienced an ego death or some other thing but since then I've noticed life has been significantly better because I've just kind of. Stopped taking things as seriously and started to just unapologetically be me because it's not my problem if other people have a problem with me existing in my natural, neurodivergent state. XD
Recently I did hit a depression spiral but it wasn't nearly as bad as it used to be. Just rereading my old posts here, I realized how much progress I've made. I'm not nearly as bitter and desperate as I felt back then and as a result I think I'm just kind of happier.
I also have a cat now! Her name is Miley and she is a senior citizen. I believe that having her in my house has really made all the difference in the world. I still struggle with taking care of myself, but I am able to keep the parts of the house that she calls home quite clean for the most part, which makes me feel good about my ability to take care of things.
I'm still not making enough money to survive which is mildly depressing but I've also come to accept that I am not going to have a career in the usual sense because I just don't have the capacity for it (or if I do I haven't found the right path to that) and I'm realizing that that's actually kind of okay. I've got some backup plans and I am not opposed to living in an RV or in a van so if push comes to shove I'll be okay. Realizing the things tend to turn out okay has been huge.
I fully recognize a lot of my recovery is probably due to privilege and to me being able to accept help from people who have more than me. I wish that the world was kinder, or at least that I had the resources to help everyone who doesn't have the same ability to get help as I do. Unfortunately the most I can do is just. be there for the people around me and fortunately that's something I'm always happy to do.
Not entirely sure why I felt so motivated to write out this ramble but it's probably because I'm procrastinating on adult responsibilities that I should be handling... but nonetheless! I am here.
I just wanted to say hi even though it's likely that nobody remembers me because I wasn't that active here but whatever. Hi to you all! :)
I tried ketamine therapy and I don't know if I experienced an ego death or some other thing but since then I've noticed life has been significantly better because I've just kind of. Stopped taking things as seriously and started to just unapologetically be me because it's not my problem if other people have a problem with me existing in my natural, neurodivergent state. XD
Recently I did hit a depression spiral but it wasn't nearly as bad as it used to be. Just rereading my old posts here, I realized how much progress I've made. I'm not nearly as bitter and desperate as I felt back then and as a result I think I'm just kind of happier.
I also have a cat now! Her name is Miley and she is a senior citizen. I believe that having her in my house has really made all the difference in the world. I still struggle with taking care of myself, but I am able to keep the parts of the house that she calls home quite clean for the most part, which makes me feel good about my ability to take care of things.
I'm still not making enough money to survive which is mildly depressing but I've also come to accept that I am not going to have a career in the usual sense because I just don't have the capacity for it (or if I do I haven't found the right path to that) and I'm realizing that that's actually kind of okay. I've got some backup plans and I am not opposed to living in an RV or in a van so if push comes to shove I'll be okay. Realizing the things tend to turn out okay has been huge.
I fully recognize a lot of my recovery is probably due to privilege and to me being able to accept help from people who have more than me. I wish that the world was kinder, or at least that I had the resources to help everyone who doesn't have the same ability to get help as I do. Unfortunately the most I can do is just. be there for the people around me and fortunately that's something I'm always happy to do.
Not entirely sure why I felt so motivated to write out this ramble but it's probably because I'm procrastinating on adult responsibilities that I should be handling... but nonetheless! I am here.
I just wanted to say hi even though it's likely that nobody remembers me because I wasn't that active here but whatever. Hi to you all! :)
