They're your friend until others are around.

[ForsakenDial]

Then they start attacking you to get the approval of others. From snide sarcastic remarks to dismissive mistreatment. Right after they came to me because of personal issues. They were emotional distraught, and said they had no else to talk to. We do not speak often. Last time we spoke until now was August 2023. I gave them my words of support, I did what they wanted to do. Games, talking about topics, the usual.

Others begin to join. It was abrupt. They are rude to me, ignoring me, making sarcastic remarks that the others laugh at. They only speak to me when they want something or need something. One time they came to me to ask me to buy them something. I offered to do it out of kindness. They got what they wanted and then left. That was in August.

I thought they were busy. Life has been very difficult for them recently. I do not prefer constant contact either. Damned, regardless. No matter what I do I keep attracting these kinds of people. I can't pick up on social cues, so I get targeted. Why can't I give stuff to others without being seen as lesser. People are assholes.

 

[untothedepths]

I understand how you feel a lot. Ive been taken advantage of, lied to, used constantly, and it keeps happening. I have a really hard time sometimes discerning when i should walk away or not. its caused me to completely shut everyone out of my life socially for a long time once, and it was painful.

 

[lemonbunny]

i relate so hard. i feel like because i don't offer them much status in our friendship, i become the scapegoat, the stepping block for them to use and dump. it's a sad world

 

[ForsakenDial]

I understand how you feel a lot. Ive been taken advantage of, lied to, used constantly, and it keeps happening. I have a really hard time sometimes discerning when i should walk away or not. its caused me to completely shut everyone out of my life socially for a long time once, and it was painful.

The same thing has happened to me. It seems impossible sometimes to tell if people are actually your friend or just using you. I'm starting to think everyone is like this. People only care about those who are useful to them. If that use is hurting the other person or taking things from them, they'll do it.

i relate so hard. i feel like because i don't offer them much status in our friendship, i become the scapegoat, the stepping block for them to use and dump. it's a sad world

It is status. People are never quick to diminish and hurt those who they can benefit from. It feels pointless. I've been friends with people who were "lower" in status than me in some circles, and the moment I build them up and they surpass me they betray me. I took hours out everyday to teach someone a skill once. They threw me away the moment they didn't need me anymore. Or scapegoat me.

There is little point to friendships. There is no such thing as a true friend.

 

[untothedepths]

The same thing has happened to me. It seems impossible sometimes to tell if people are actually your friend or just using you. I'm starting to think everyone is like this. People only care about those who are useful to them. If that use is hurting the other person or taking things from them, they'll do it.

They do. Or its some other round about way of intention. I have made it a priority to keep everyone only knowing so much about me. I do things like never accepting gifts unless i can give back to someone else as thats a pretty big means of manipulation. I also tell others I dont want their venting in my private messages if I notice its all the time or they don't care about mine. I never expect extra favors or anything. I don't gossip. I don't brag. Anyone I notice who does now I just sorta shut out from becoming my friend. I'm also super super wary about lovebombing from people. 100% of the time that always came with expectations attached.

 

[ForsakenDial]

They do. Or its some other round about way of intention. I have made it a priority to keep everyone only knowing so much about me. I do things like never accepting gifts unless i can give back to someone else as thats a pretty big means of manipulation. I also tell others I dont want their venting in my private messages if I notice its all the time or they don't care about mine. I never expect extra favors or anything. I don't gossip. I don't brag. Anyone I notice who does now I just sorta shut out from becoming my friend. I'm also super super wary about lovebombing from people. 100% of the time that always came with expectations attached.

All these look like good methods. People who gossip will always gossip about the people they vented to. If they gossip about others, they gossip about you. People have bad intentions always. I learned to not vent to people on social media attached to any important identity. Even with so called friends because friends are only temporary. And once its over they'll use every single thing against you. People must be kept at arms length. Because if not they'll take anything and everything away from you if they can.