grimmtheripper
Welcome to the "Diary of the Damned".
- May 1, 2022
- 12
Where do I even start. I've been living in a hotel for a year and some change. My dad passed away just after Christmas last year. His mother (my grandma) after battling dementia finally passed as well, about a month or two later. Then, my aunt (my father's sister) suffered a tragic accident and bled out in her home. In less than six months, I lost 3 family members. I feel like everytime I step into this hotel room, it gets two inches smaller. The dirty walls remind me constantly of what was taken from me. What was done to me. Years of emotional abuse. Physical abuse. R*pe. I spiraled into an active addiction, attempted suicide, and was admitted for my mandatory 72 hour hold. My daughter was taken from me after my daughter's father and his (wealthy) parents told the court I was mentally unstable and couldn't care for my child. I was homeless. I could not afford a lawyer. I lost. I am reminded every day that they were right. What kind of life would this be for her? A roach infested hotel room and bipolar mother who can barely afford to feed herself. I've lost 6 pounds in 7 days. I can feel my body deteriorating. I can feel my body giving up. I am not safe when left alone with my thoughts. I have no idea why I'm even still trying to fight a losing battle. I am not meant to be here.
