I've tried to go 'on a whim' several times,
When I was 18 I took a bottle of aspirin or Tylenol from 711 and drank it with a bottle of whiskey.
Recently I've done the works 5 times, one night I smoked so much crack out of a bong I couldn't stand up straight for three days..
Another I did all my fentanyl in one go and woke up with my truck totaled and the worst hangover of my life (up to that point). I remember being conscious for about 10 seconds and not feeling any regret, or much of anything really. Just sat there watching some woman load her kids into her van at the mall.
I chewed up 5 extended release oxycontin (we called them oxys so I'm guessing it's oxycontin) and drank a bottle of whiskey (the new worst hangover). My friend thought I went home cause he couldn't hear any breathing in the room.
One night I just kept shooting cocaine until ~17 grams was gone. From then on started stupidly to believe (and unfortunately to tell people) "you can't od on cocaine"
I took around 15-20 or more of some Dexedrine and only became psychotic for a couple days or so
The last time I took a bottle of 30 of some sedative they gave me, around a quarter ounce of this garbage fentanyl I had, 8 big Suboxone and whatever cocaine I had left (absolute worst night of my life as I had been doing fentanyl every day for a year and didn't know about precipitated withdrawal)
During that period I became delusional and thought I was literally invincible, being kept alive as a punishment of some kind.
I still kind of think that in the back of my mind.
I know, someday I will stop pussyfooting and just hang myself. It's just that my mom has begged me not to and for some reason I just can't do it to her.
Or is that just an excuse?
no one knows about any of this in my personal life so I just wanted to communicate this somewhere even if no one reads it.
thanks.
When I was 18 I took a bottle of aspirin or Tylenol from 711 and drank it with a bottle of whiskey.
Recently I've done the works 5 times, one night I smoked so much crack out of a bong I couldn't stand up straight for three days..
Another I did all my fentanyl in one go and woke up with my truck totaled and the worst hangover of my life (up to that point). I remember being conscious for about 10 seconds and not feeling any regret, or much of anything really. Just sat there watching some woman load her kids into her van at the mall.
I chewed up 5 extended release oxycontin (we called them oxys so I'm guessing it's oxycontin) and drank a bottle of whiskey (the new worst hangover). My friend thought I went home cause he couldn't hear any breathing in the room.
One night I just kept shooting cocaine until ~17 grams was gone. From then on started stupidly to believe (and unfortunately to tell people) "you can't od on cocaine"
I took around 15-20 or more of some Dexedrine and only became psychotic for a couple days or so
The last time I took a bottle of 30 of some sedative they gave me, around a quarter ounce of this garbage fentanyl I had, 8 big Suboxone and whatever cocaine I had left (absolute worst night of my life as I had been doing fentanyl every day for a year and didn't know about precipitated withdrawal)
During that period I became delusional and thought I was literally invincible, being kept alive as a punishment of some kind.
I still kind of think that in the back of my mind.
I know, someday I will stop pussyfooting and just hang myself. It's just that my mom has begged me not to and for some reason I just can't do it to her.
Or is that just an excuse?
no one knows about any of this in my personal life so I just wanted to communicate this somewhere even if no one reads it.
thanks.
