There's no hope for me

[Catching_the_bus]

I am finally convinced that there is no hope for me and I am destined to CTB... I have been doing INTENSIVE therapy and going to EVERY psychiatry appointment for over 3 years now... I have done everything they have asked me to in order to fight to get better... Well I am tired of it... I am tired of fighting for a life that I don't even want, I am tired of blindly trusting every suggestion the mental health system gives me that is supposed to make me "better" I'm not going to get better and I am tired of trying. I don't want to be here... I don't want the prescriptions... I don't want the useless therapy full of empty promises that it will "get better"... When!?!? is it going to actually get better? Or is that just the phrase you use in an attempt to prolong my suffering so you can lock me up, pump me full of medication, and take away the only dignity I have left... I hate the mental health system and I HATE living! I am never going to get any better so I am throwing in the white towel... I am done with the useless treatments when the ONLY reliable and effective treatment for me is CTB... Oh how peaceful it will be when I am finally in eternal sleep!

 

[Sulyya]

It must be so tiring for people to not understand, probably most of all with therapists. I never try except here.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really does sound so incredibly ideal being able to sleep for all eternity, as after all to die solves all problems and one cannot be harmed by death. Therapy just sounds like a scam and a way to profit from people's suffering, your feelings are very much understandable, at least to me existing in this cruel world could never be worth it.

 

[WaitingToGo]

I am finally convinced that there is no hope for me and I am destined to CTB... I have been doing INTENSIVE therapy and going to EVERY psychiatry appointment for over 3 years now... I have done everything they have asked me to in order to fight to get better... Well I am tired of it... I am tired of fighting for a life that I don't even want, I am tired of blindly trusting every suggestion the mental health system gives me that is supposed to make me "better" I'm not going to get better and I am tired of trying. I don't want to be here... I don't want the prescriptions... I don't want the useless therapy full of empty promises that it will "get better"... When!?!? is it going to actually get better? Or is that just the phrase you use in an attempt to prolong my suffering so you can lock me up, pump me full of medication, and take away the only dignity I have left... I hate the mental health system and I HATE living! I am never going to get any better so I am throwing in the white towel... I am done with the useless treatments when the ONLY reliable and effective treatment for me is CTB... Oh how peaceful it will be when I am finally in eternal sleep!

That's just exactly how I feel. I know these "therapies" won't work for me and the underlying issues will always remain. I feel compelled to do them so I have a slight chance of euthanasia but I'm not holding out for that really.