Surai
its all too much and there's nothing left
- Mar 26, 2024
- 304
There is nothing left. And everything we thought we had is gone. And I cant see in front of me anymore. And I dont bother to look back. I would want it any other way. I wouldnt have wanted any of it. But here we are. Stuck in deciding. In a thought. And everyday it gets worse. If only it could get worse. Maybe then I could work up the courage to finally decide. And make my step. And they said it would only be a step down. Everyone must take. Into and end that does not end. But do you remember? No, it wasnt something to remember. Because we never got it memorised. At all. We never got it memorised at all. And I wish, But what good is a wish, when all I do is wish. When I live seperate from my body. When all I am is my head. When all I think is just the neurons firing off expressing themselves. When I look in the mirror and wonder, Is this really me? Do I really care? Did I ever. Find out why Im here? Why I was created? What is your purpose? When nature turns its back. But isnt afraid to show face. And continues to show face. And such an ugly face. A raw real and true. But that isnt always true. If only we could escape. And Ill keep trying to escape. It shouldnt be hard. When all i do is try. It shouldnt be hard to try. If it really is like that. Is it such a peace where even peace isnt there. To witness it. Whatever it is I hope its like I thought it would be.
