Venting therapy tomorrow. don't know if i should be painfully truthful.

[slashedpiel]

i've been seeing the same therapist for more than over a year now, so the topic of suicide and self harming behaviors has been talked about.

i always write in my journal whenever i self harm and i bring in my journal to sessions. i usually catch my therapist up on what i wrote, but whenever i come across the parts where i write about how i hurt myself i always skip over it or say i "thought about relapsing again". this has been going on since december 2021 and i'm always worried that if i tell them that i've recently hurt myself, they might tell my parents or bring up hospitalization. we went over the hippa laws when i first started, but i forgot them lol.

i've also been suspecting that i have some form of bpd, but they reassure me it's just my attachment issues. i think they tell me that because i never go into depth on how much it affects me when certain relationships and friendships end. i always somehow harm myself for it and go through "black and white" thinking, but i'm always conscious enough to know if i said what i wanted to say to those people, my image of them will always be ruined. that also leads me into a fear of being extremely egotistical and somewhat narcissistic. i know this isn't always a sign of either of those BUT i genuinely believe that i align with some heavy characteristics that would take too long to get into. that, and the fact that i don't want anyone thinking of me any different in how i truly feel most of the time.

end of rant, blah blah blah.

 

[Time&Regret]

It's truly up to you how much you talk about. If you expose it all, I feel that would be a step in the direction of getting help and addressing your problems. If it dosent address your deepest problems then you're just kinda stuck feeling the same. I wouldn't talk about any active plans you have unless you want to possibly go inpatient or outpatient (if you do more power to you).

 

[SilentSadness]

If you expose it all, I feel that would be a step in the direction of getting help and addressing your problems.

Unfortunately, I could never recommend telling a therapist the truth. They are legally obliged (and have no problem with) getting you institutionalised & abused in a psych ward prison, and it's not like they help anyone. Anyway, I hope you find peace and you certainly aren't abnormal or narcissistic for thinking about suicide.

 

[pastelfluevogs]

Unfortunately, I could never recommend telling a therapist the truth. They are legally obliged (and have no problem with) getting you institutionalised & abused in a psych ward prison, and it's not like they help anyone. Anyway, I hope you find peace and you certainly aren't abnormal or narcissistic for thinking about suicide.

Not true. They are not allowed to tell anyone ANYTHING, unless you are a threat to others, or plan to ctb. I get the therapy scaries that you have silentsadness, but there are good ones out there. That's a fact

Therapy has helped people. My friend was in a horrible place and now theyre on track to become a humanitarian lawyer, in school and everything! They got help from their friends and yes, from their therapist, to figure it out. Theyre on meds and got diagnosed with adhd and are doing much better. It ok to reach out for help. People will be glad you did. Id rather talk with you than mourn for you.