Help How can I stop hitting myself when I get frustrated?

[RosebyAnyName]

Might count as self harm: When I get upset or frustrated with something, I will start to hurt myself in odd ways. At worst, I will slap myself on the top of my head, although usually I will just slap my thigh or do some kind of similar action.

It honestly wasn't a huge deal as I did it very infrequently, but now that I'm learning more difficult pieces on the piano I've started to hurt my hands when I get frustrated, like bending my fingers or wrists as much as possible until they hurt or punching one hand into the other hand really hard. This is obviously bad and not helpful, but what else can I do to stop this from happening? I've been practicing some really difficult passages on the piano lately and it feels like I can't stop myself from getting frustrated whenever I do.

It's weird because I never used to hit myself and I don't have a (consistent) history of being hit physically by others, though I've admittedly I've always had anger issues since I was a kid.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I punch myself in the head.

 

[Life_and_Death]

@RosebyAnyName @Aloneandinpain

harm reduction
- get a punching bag

try not to
easier said than done but iirc what i did/had to do. of course i typically hit my head so ive been suffering from concussions which is a little more immediate than "i might hit my hand on a stud" which i also did almost do. i went back to look at the hole and the stud was right there lol
but yeah, its a hard thing to stop. ill still flair up, but less often

doesnt sound like it would be the exact same advice, but the same general idea
(and aloneandinpain, i linked you because you can get serious concussion pain. for me it got to the point that i dont even have to hit myself and it hurts)

 

[Aloneandinpain]

@RosebyAnyName @Aloneandinpain


doesnt sound like it would be the exact same advice, but the same general idea
(and aloneandinpain, i linked you because you can get serious concussion pain. for me it got to the point that i dont even have to hit myself and it hurts)

For me, punching myself is more of a form of self-harm and punishment, frustration is more of a secondary factor. I'm only frustrated about myself and my life. When it comes to any specific task I'm actually almost completely in control of any emotions or anger.

Therefore, a punchbag wouldn't interest me unfortunately, but thanks for the suggestion.

 

[UniqueWorm]

I stuggle with that too, some things that have helped me start stoping are:
-spicy/sour foods
-stomping really hard on the ground
-throwing balls at the ground (be careful if its bouncy)
-having a pet around me because i feel bad for hurting myself infront of them

some things that i do when im really upset/whatever ill end up doing instead of hitting myself is worse than the hitting are:
-putting a pillow on my leg and hitting it
-bending my fingers inwards and holding them really tight instead of bending them back
-puting something around my finger then biting it
-hit a pillow or stuffed animal against my head
-rubbing my hand back and forth across my arm really fast (it can cause friction burns if your doing it too long so be careful)

idk if that helps much but i genuinely hope the best for you

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I stuggle with that too, some things that have helped me start stoping are:
-spicy/sour foods
-stomping really hard on the ground
-throwing balls at the ground (be careful if its bouncy)
-having a pet around me because i feel bad for hurting myself infront of them

some things that i do when im really upset/whatever ill end up doing instead of hitting myself is worse than the hitting are:
-putting a pillow on my leg and hitting it
-bending my fingers inwards and holding them really tight instead of bending them back
-puting something around my finger then biting it
-hit a pillow or stuffed animal against my head
-rubbing my hand back and forth across my arm really fast (it can cause friction burns if your doing it too long so be careful)

idk if that helps much but i genuinely hope the best for you

This actually helps a lot, thanks.

 

[N7_Alliance_Marine]

I do this too much and I can't control it. The doctor has a special condition for it but I don't remember what it's called. Only way I can reduce the odds of it happening is with heavy doses of anxiety medications.

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

Unfortunately I don't know of any methods to stop this kind of self harm, but for the sake of harm reduction, I would recommend trying to only slap your thigh, or maybe your chest when you feel this way. These are a lot less harmful than hitting yourself in the head, which can cause more serious damage over time.

 

[ebg]

You could get a boxing bag if you have space for it

 

[justkatie]

Thighs for me too. It's not slaps but punches leading with the knuckles sadly.

I have BPD and often lash out on myself when frustrated too.
I'm definitely not saying you have BPD, just that I get it.

The response for me has been tough. It's so difficult when you're in the moment of extreme frustration and anger to take a step back but if you can genuinely count out ten breaths and then count out another ten until you get to the point where the urge has passed. I've found that has helped a lot.

Just today a minor thing happened and I was ready to punch myself but controlling and counting my breathing until the moment passed helped.
I'm still super mad at this tiny incident, but I'm not going to hurt myself over it.