How do I stop splitting on people :/

[bl33ding_heart]

I'm not sure if I even want to, or have the energy to get better. But what I know I do want is to stop hurting the people around me. The littlest, most meaningless things can make me split and send me into an emotional rampage and I end up saying a lot of cruel things I end up regretting. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of hurting people and making them hate me, and I'm tired of hurting the one and only person that actually sees me for who I am, and truly loves and cares about me. I try my hardest to withold my severe emotions but it's physically impossible no matter how hard I try. It's like I'm a faucet malfunctioning, and my emotions just come bursting out of me uncontrollably. It's emotionally exhausting and I would do anything to not be like this. What hurts the most is getting seen as evil and manipulative for it when I don't have ill intentions, I just want a peace of mind.

 

[theboy]

Mmm
Maybe you have a memory that motivates you to harm people. You are not bad and believe me I understand your situation. It's like a bad outlet. A weird release

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

I don't have BPD but I can relate to splitting. There are often one little thing that makes me go downwards on a panic attack, and it lasts like 1 hour of anger and sadness. So yea, I can relate somehow.

 

[bankai]

It seems like pretty impulsive behavior. Not sure if there's much that can be done. It seems like you almost Watch yourself saying these things without being able to control them, like an out of body experience or something.

I think all you can do is apologize after the fact.At least they're just words. I know words can hurt and be really cruel but at least you're not being physically violent or something.

 

[Redacted24]

Being upfront with others about your struggles can help too. When you're both calm, talking about how you might react, and that you don't mean it, can help them be aware and understanding.

A friend was upfront about how her BPD manifested itself sometimes in her treatment of others.

And when she unleashed it on me the first time, I was back on my heels and really upset...at first. But I realized it wasn't her being like that, it was the BPD. So I let it wash over me and did nothing. And sure enough in a day or two she was back being the wonderful person I like.

Just an idea.

It's great that you have the self awareness to recognize and want to not do these things, but sometimes it's gonna happen because we're human.

Be kind to yourself! You're trying!