Everything else is just an illusion and self preservation to keep you going. Keep the human race and it's affairs going after all. Whatever modicum of hope you have for the world after being routinely beaten to you knees crushes you at the first onsight once again that it is indeed hopeless. The pent up rage, depression, despondency, frustration, loneliness, pain are all signals that lead you no where but back to zero. You only want these things anyways because you're programmed to do so but yet are ill equipped to follow through protocol.
You can run away from this with whatever coping mechanisms but it doesn't matter eventually. You will eventually be met with boredom, apathy, nhillism, impermanence, and meaningless which will degradate your coping mechanisms as soon as the wool has been lifted from your eyes. Then you look for ways out of this misery all over again only to realize there is no escape from your suffering. For people like me or us you won't get what you want no matter how hard you try. There is no rhyme or reason nor saving grace. Nobody will save you, nobody cares, and nothing will spark the motivation to do so. There is nothing. All you have is nothing. And something always will go wrong in life no matter what. Anything to keep you in pain, suffering and hopeless.
The only thing worth doing in life is dying. Not trying to make the best of it when it's meaningless, not self improving, not having fun, not seeking pleasure, not hoping things get better, not finding some deluded meaning in meaningless. It's death. Death is the closet thing to salvation there is. Nobody loves me, I have no friends, no significant other, no purpose, jobs are pointless, I can't get what want, I barely got what I need, and my life is mostly suffering. I will never have any of these things I crave and it wouldn't matter anyways because we all have to die in the end.
Only thing I have is of course first world luxuries like shelter, internet, food and water that I leech off my parents with which can all be taken away from me with two syllables. And it's not enough. It doesn't make me content or happy. The only thing holding me back from salvation is I'm just too afraid to die yet. I'm tired of the meaningless distractions and acting like I can adjust to this hellish existence. I just don't want to die bad enough yet because I'm too weak and pathetic to do what it takes to free myself. The part of me that still wants to live is weakness that perpetuates my agony. So like you I come to a forum to cope knowing nothing I say matters or what I do and cycle between misguided hope to hopeless with apathy.
You can run away from this with whatever coping mechanisms but it doesn't matter eventually. You will eventually be met with boredom, apathy, nhillism, impermanence, and meaningless which will degradate your coping mechanisms as soon as the wool has been lifted from your eyes. Then you look for ways out of this misery all over again only to realize there is no escape from your suffering. For people like me or us you won't get what you want no matter how hard you try. There is no rhyme or reason nor saving grace. Nobody will save you, nobody cares, and nothing will spark the motivation to do so. There is nothing. All you have is nothing. And something always will go wrong in life no matter what. Anything to keep you in pain, suffering and hopeless.
The only thing worth doing in life is dying. Not trying to make the best of it when it's meaningless, not self improving, not having fun, not seeking pleasure, not hoping things get better, not finding some deluded meaning in meaningless. It's death. Death is the closet thing to salvation there is. Nobody loves me, I have no friends, no significant other, no purpose, jobs are pointless, I can't get what want, I barely got what I need, and my life is mostly suffering. I will never have any of these things I crave and it wouldn't matter anyways because we all have to die in the end.
Only thing I have is of course first world luxuries like shelter, internet, food and water that I leech off my parents with which can all be taken away from me with two syllables. And it's not enough. It doesn't make me content or happy. The only thing holding me back from salvation is I'm just too afraid to die yet. I'm tired of the meaningless distractions and acting like I can adjust to this hellish existence. I just don't want to die bad enough yet because I'm too weak and pathetic to do what it takes to free myself. The part of me that still wants to live is weakness that perpetuates my agony. So like you I come to a forum to cope knowing nothing I say matters or what I do and cycle between misguided hope to hopeless with apathy.
