The Whiplash of Contradictory Reactions

[nothingbutafailure]

sometimes i feel dizzy when i get conflicting reactions from people.

earlier i told someone who moderates a site about my grooming and stalking situation and they mocked me for it. but i told a crisis hotline worker the same information and they said i'm "doing an amazing job and there are no words they can say to express just how commedable it is" and "you're doing a phenomenoal job trying to help yourself"

conversely, i've had tons of people in real life tell me i'm the smartest person they know, praise me for my essays and tell me they're utterly fascinating. and say i'm a joy to talk to. in other cases, the people online who groomed and stalked me would simetimes say i have such an interesting mind, that i'm not of this world or out of this world, or that the stalking and intimidation will take a toll on my mind. so there's a constrast there i want to illustrate where people recognize my mental prowess and some people, for reasons unclear to me, want to stress me out mentally.

lastly there's the comparisons i get to winona ryder, ripley, or tegan alongside the fact my interests in computers and pantheism or panpsychism was digitally and symbolically colonized through a campeign of comparing me to the 13/14 year old "goddess" Lain Iwakura, implying people in some capacity worship, are obsessed with, and fetishize me, whilst trying to wear me out.

why do i get such diverse responses and reactions from people?

what can i do to not feel bothered by it or confused by it?

what is wrong with them and what motivates these more obsessive interests?

 

[Zeir Anpin 729]

This is from a document on the psychological decomposition of the Stasi Directive No. 1/76...

Directive No. 1/76 to the development processes and machining operating from [1 January 1976]. Among the decomposition techniques also open, hidden or fake spying, letter or Telephone control of the "enemy of people worked", damaging private property, tampering with vehicles to the poisoning of food, "incorrect medical treatment" and strategically targeted and coercion of suicide. It is controversial whether the Stasi began to X-rays at political opponent's health Cause long term damage. Thus, with Rudolf Bahro, and Gerulf Pannach dead, only two to three years apart, about the same time incarcerated, prominent East German dissident Jurgen Fuchs died of rare Cancers.

Why where these people targeted? What do they all have in common?

- Rudolf Bahro: Converted from Communist to anti-Stalinist under the influence of Karl August Wittfogel.

- Gerulf Pannach: Singer who spread opposition to East Germany and the Cold War as a whole.

- Jurgen Fuchs: Infiltrated the Socialist Unity Party of Germany (ruling party of East Germany) to commit espionage.

COMMON DENOMINATOR: Germans against Soviet rule.

FATE: DEATH

IDK if this helps :/

 

[nothingbutafailure]

FATE: DEATH

Cool bug facts: death is the fate of all life.