L
loadedsubside
Member
- Apr 14, 2023
- 10
I have always knew how lonely I am, but today I understood how lonely I am. Today was supposed to be this big party that everybody I know goes to. My own sibling, every single person I am acquainted with goes. But obviously, I did not go. No one asked me if I wanted to go. No one invited me. None of my so-called friends have. Not even my own blood cared. I have always knew that I was lonely, but never truly felt it. No one even asked why I wasn't there or how I'm feeling. No one even bothered to care. I already hate every aspect of myself and this just shows the truth. No one cares about me. Whenever I tell others that I'm suicidal, they always reply with "please don't, I care for you, I'm here for you". Yet no one cares or is here for me when I really need it. I hate talking about suicide and spilling to others what I'm feeling bc it's always the same. Always the same lies to make you feel wanted yet the second you show remorse, they stop acting like they care. Even my own family is like that. I am truly lonely in all aspects. I've heard someone tell me that it's okay to be lonely as long as you have yourself. But I don't even have myself. I can't stand being in my own skin. I can't stand existing. I just want to be dead or stop existing, but even that I cannot have.