ikiruNObungaku
I'm literary nonsense.
- Jan 3, 2026
- 25
I dislike it. I graduated high school very young, so I figured that I could get my bachelors degree very quickly. However, I am still here, and I still have a year to go. But it was never supposed to be this way. I was supposed to graduate last year, but the university requires my specific major to stay an extra two years. I never wanted this major either. It was forced upon me after the major I wanted got rejected, and now I am in too deep. Six years for a bachelor's degree... I feel like I failed.
I had made a friend in my class who was in the exact situation as me. But one day she said "I will stop taking classes here, and self-study instead, because I do not want to wait two extra years." So she did, and I hadn't seen her since until recently. She just graduated today. That's amazing... why could I not be like that?
Originally, I planned to die right after graduation. But the longer I wait, the more sad I feel. I do not think my degree will take me anywhere, I think this is all for nothing, and I do not think I will be good in the workforce. So it is best that I die. But I would like to get a degree in order to make my family happy before my death; I think it will be something they can fondly look at. My older sister refuses to go to school or to get a job, so my parents have gave up on her and instead push me to be their pride and joy. I do not mind that, but it's hard; I cannot remember ever feeling happy since then. But I do not want to ruin that perfect image they have of me. I wish I could be perfect. I am so sorry.
I will keep going, and be very happy once the day arrives where I can rest.
I had made a friend in my class who was in the exact situation as me. But one day she said "I will stop taking classes here, and self-study instead, because I do not want to wait two extra years." So she did, and I hadn't seen her since until recently. She just graduated today. That's amazing... why could I not be like that?
Originally, I planned to die right after graduation. But the longer I wait, the more sad I feel. I do not think my degree will take me anywhere, I think this is all for nothing, and I do not think I will be good in the workforce. So it is best that I die. But I would like to get a degree in order to make my family happy before my death; I think it will be something they can fondly look at. My older sister refuses to go to school or to get a job, so my parents have gave up on her and instead push me to be their pride and joy. I do not mind that, but it's hard; I cannot remember ever feeling happy since then. But I do not want to ruin that perfect image they have of me. I wish I could be perfect. I am so sorry.
I will keep going, and be very happy once the day arrives where I can rest.
