Discussion The time before and the possibility of after.

[greyblue_bian]

I have the time of when I'll try to CTB again, I just have to get the things I need, but since I have a few months until then (and as it's been getting closer and closer), it gets a lot harder to resist doing it now. I also feel the need to "live" in these next few months and do things I've been wanting to for a while. Because of all these plans I've been making, I caught myself romanticizing life if I decided not to CTB. As if life would somehow make a 180 and change drastically in only 3-4 months. This is what seems to happen every time I've planned on attempting again. Last time (my first attempt), I just drank the SN, played music, and slept to distract myself from my imaginations. Even when I did try to improve when I did decide not to attempt, it never seemed to work. Everything always went back around and some other hurt came for me.

Does anyone else deal with this romanticizing the possibility of life after an attempt? What do you do about it?