Venting The thoughts that make me suicidal

[Ineedthis]

I grew up wealthy with two loving parents and three loving siblings. I'm the youngest so I was the spoiled one. No matter what I do, it'll be my dad's money that got me to that point. I'm not complaining about being fortunate but I started fantasizing recently about bad things happening to my family and me more and more. A family member dying, my dad going bankrupt. It's like I'm constantly looking for something to pity myself for so I can feel like I deserve sympathy. I know I'm being super ungrateful and this is probably offensive to people who have gone through real struggles in their lives. Part of me just wants to feel like I have valid issues. It feels like once I've tried to kill myself, maybe I'll be pitied. I hate myself for these thoughts, but I still feel good sharing them under an alias. I know all my "problems" Aren't really problems and are struggles everyone goes through. I know I'm insanely lucky and should be grateful for the life I have. And yet I still find myself wishing that I was anybody at all in the whole world other than myself. Sometimes I wish someone would be awful to me and abusive so that I could feel like I've been through something. I could probably resist alcohol, self-harm and drugs if I wanted to at all, but it gives me that same feeling of my problems being real. Like I'm not just being edgy and I'm genuinely troubled and my life is near it's end.

 

[Kaioowbtm]

You cant compare problems. Yours is as big as any. None have been in your skin and felt what you have. A child starving in africa would be so happy to have found a meal. Yet you can see celebrities who "have everything" depressed over problems you would think are stupid.

I think everyone have a baseline set from the experiences we gather. We develop needs and when those needs are not met, we try to find ways to have it fullfilled, when the gap starts to get too big, we think about CTB.

See the main reason for me to CTB is money, yet i know your problem is as big as mine if you also think about CTB.

Dont undermine your problems..

 

[Ineedthis]

You cant compare problems. Yours is as big as any. None have been in your skin and felt what you have. A child starving in africa would be so happy to have found a meal. Yet you can see celebrities who "have everything" depressed over problems you would think are stupid.

I think everyone have a baseline set from the experiences we gather. We develop needs and when those needs are not met, we try to find ways to have it fullfilled, when the gap starts to get too big, we think about CTB.

See the main reason for me to CTB is money, yet i know your problem is as big as mine if you also think about CTB.

Dont undermine your problems..

I REALLY needed to hear this. I'm not gonna lie I was basing a lot of my decisions off the replies to this thread

You cant compare problems. Yours is as big as any. None have been in your skin and felt what you have. A child starving in africa would be so happy to have found a meal. Yet you can see celebrities who "have everything" depressed over problems you would think are stupid.

I think everyone have a baseline set from the experiences we gather. We develop needs and when those needs are not met, we try to find ways to have it fullfilled, when the gap starts to get too big, we think about CTB.

See the main reason for me to CTB is money, yet i know your problem is as big as mine if you also think about CTB.

Dont undermine your problems..

Is this just a me thing or do other people also try to choose their addictions based on what's widely considered a "real problem" or serious problem?

 

[Kaioowbtm]

I REALLY needed to hear this. I'm not gonna lie I was basing a lot of my decisions off the replies to this thread

Is this just a me thing or do other people also try to choose their addictions based on what's widely considered a "real problem" or serious problem?

I dont think I understood your question entirely but i dont believe people are capable of choosing an addiction.

An addiction is like getting something you think you need ASAP exchanged for something you think you need less right?
The more you want... the worse the deal you're willing to accept.

Like Alcohol could make you forget temporarily your problems and for some its fun at the expense of your health, risk of accidents, risk of dependency..etc...

 

[アホペンギン]

You shouldn't think like that, maybe to some, your problems would be insignificant and they could get over them, but for you, they might be unbearable having to go through with them, even if they aren't that serious. People don't have the same personalities and many are more sensitive than most so because of this you shouldn't invalidate your problems. Even if someone were extremely lucky with everything there'd still be a chance of suicidality. Its normal, so please don't consider your problems as everyday things if you're really suffering due to them. Everyone is different.