I have two brothers that I am very close with. So much so, that the thought of leaving them makes me sick because I know it would crush them. But I cannot keep living with schizophrenia/depression/insomnia, I simply do not wish to suffer any longer. I wish there was a way to convince them that CTB is the best option for me but that is impossible.
What do I do? Keep on living just for the sake of other people or do I CTB ("selfishly")?
I have to say I envy your closeness with your siblings, mine would probably use my corpse as a doormat for the people they actually care about to wipe their boots on.
I wish the conversation you imply-to convince them-wouldn't be such a taboo, people should be allowed to give their loved ones fair warning without having to worry about being locked up, there should be room for saying goodbye and maybe making the most of some last moments together, but of course, this is usually reserved for those who are terminally ill, not suicidal for other reasons which have to remain unspoken.
Are your brothers the type who would not understand or who would try to prevent you from going through with it?
Do you think there is any chance at all they could realize that it's about ending your suffering, not about leaving them behind?
Have you ever attempted to broach the subject whatsoever?
I know a handful of people here have somehow managed to do so, but I realize it's usually not possible.