The stigma around BPD is enough to make anyone kill themself

[Thisgirlwantstosleep]

I posted on another forum about the difficulties I face with my mental health conditions and one of the users just started attacking me because I have BPD.

They said they have family with the illness and a stalker that had BPD. That everyone with the illness is a terrible person and we all cause harm.

I just said to them that their experiences have nothing to do with me and that I don't lash out at people. I was trying to show them that they're projecting their shitty trauma onto me and it's not fair.

They then twisted a painful experience of mine, that time I was in A&E with my dad and started shouting at him because I was frustrated, and said that that was proof that I lash out.

This fucking diagnosis and the people that contribute to its stigma make me want to die.

I fucking hate this planet.
Also everyone hates mentally ill people and doesn't want to befriend us but not having friends makes me a fucking weirdo?

I legitimately feel like I'm in hell.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Sadly I can understand that. I got together with my husband before having a full grasp on my disorders so I didn't know I have bpd. A few months ago my husband said 'nice to know you're not just a bitch' (not exact wording but close and yes he used the word bitch). I've just kind of internalized that one like, yep nice to know my husband thinks I'm a bitch.

 

[StarLight]

I hear you and am sorry its this. I don't have a BPD diagnosis myself, but have seen plenty of the exact behavior and attitudes you're talking about when I've looked into info about this online. How do they expect people to heal when they are essentially given no chance right out of the gate? It's really messed up, and obviously quite traumatizing which is not helpful at all.

 

[WornOutLife]

And that's why, I don't talk about my bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts anywhere apart from SS.

People just don't get it and love to stigmatize stuff. They can go to hell.

You are YOU! Just keep on trying to do your best. This community will support you.

Hugs and love,

Matt

 

[Soulless Angel]

And that's why, I don't talk about my bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts anywhere apart from SS.

People just don't get it and love to stigmatize stuff. They can go to hell.

You are YOU! Just keep on trying to do your best. This community will support you.

Hugs and love,

Matt

I used to talk about my issues outside of here, but no longer, its just not worth it. society are scum when it comes to mental health they dont understand, that's one thing about this forum, in the right tone, its so supportive

 

[LastLoveLetter]

I am sorry you were treated like this and that this random person felt entitled to project their trauma onto you based on your diagnosis.

I agree that a diagnosis of BPD feels like a death sentence, to the point I no longer disclose this diagnosis due to the pervasiveness of the stigma. If I have to disclose my conditions to anyone, I instead tell them about my Complex PTSD, because I was diagnosed with this condition too and it is far more relevant to my struggles, and generally perceived less unfavourably. I have "Quiet BPD", so I internalise my difficulties and do not lash out at others either. I lash out at myself instead.

It is terribly unfair that Personality Disorders - especially those categorised as Cluster B - are shunned and stereotyped so awfully. Negative attitudes towards them are so prevalent, it occurs frequently within the medical profession as well, demonstrated by the number of psychologists who refuse to take on clients with a Cluster B disorder. Cluster B disorders have the strongest link with early childhood trauma, especially those with BPD. It is a cruel irony that those of us who have often already been chronically and extensively traumatised are then systemically stigmatised and shunned from society, adding another layer of trauma in the process.

I don't think the terminology used helps. BPD is an outdated term and the newer version, "Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder", isn't much better. The implication of a "personality disorder" is that we have a character defect rather than a legitimate illness, and that it defines who we are. It is an antiquated term that lends itself to further stigma, particularly from those who lack an understanding of what this diagnosis truly entails, which most people do not.

I acknowledge that of course abusers with personality disorders exist. However, abusers with other mental illnesses or no mental illnesses at all also exist. It makes no sense to tar everyone with the same brush. Anyone can be an abuser, and no specific mental health condition is a prerequisite for that or justification to assume that a person is harmful to others.

I have observed a trend whereby people are quick to diagnose their abusers as "Borderline" or a "Narc" but without a formal diagnosis to support this or substantial evidence. It is almost as though these disorders are used inappropriately as a blanket label for all shitty, abusive or manipulative behaviour, to the detriment of those of us who live with these debilitating diagnoses and strive to get better.

How can we ever improve when the general population and a good proportion of the medical profession are consistently against our presence and actively perpetuate harmful myths? BPD results in being immediately pathologised rather than understood.

 

[FuneralCry]

I am so sorry you have been through this. There really is too much stigma surrounding this disorder and a lack of understanding and compassion for those suffering.That persons attitude is unacceptable, hating on everyone with the disorder just because they have been through trauma. People should offer support rather than hate.

 

[Thisgirlwantstosleep]

I am sorry you were treated like this and that this random person felt entitled to project their trauma onto you based on your diagnosis.

I agree that a diagnosis of BPD feels like a death sentence, to the point I no longer disclose this diagnosis due to the pervasiveness of the stigma. If I have to disclose my conditions to anyone, I instead tell them about my Complex PTSD, because I was diagnosed with this condition too and it is far more relevant to my struggles, and generally perceived less unfavourably. I have "Quiet BPD", so I internalise my difficulties and do not lash out at others either. I lash out at myself instead.

It is terribly unfair that Personality Disorders - especially those categorised as Cluster B - are shunned and stereotyped so awfully. Negative attitudes towards them are so prevalent, it occurs frequently within the medical profession as well, demonstrated by the number of psychologists who refuse to take on clients with a Cluster B disorder. Cluster B disorders have the strongest link with early childhood trauma, especially those with BPD. It is a cruel irony that those of us who have often already been chronically and extensively traumatised are then systemically stigmatised and shunned from society, adding another layer of trauma in the process.

I don't think the terminology used helps. BPD is an outdated term and the newer version, "Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder", isn't much better. The implication of a "personality disorder" is that we have a character defect rather than a legitimate illness, and that it defines who we are. It is an antiquated term that lends itself to further stigma, particularly from those who lack an understanding of what this diagnosis truly entails, which most people do not.

I acknowledge that of course abusers with personality disorders exist. However, abusers with other mental illnesses or no mental illnesses at all also exist. It makes no sense to tar everyone with the same brush. Anyone can be an abuser, and no specific mental health condition is a prerequisite for that or justification to assume that a person is harmful to others.

I have observed a trend whereby people are quick to diagnose their abusers as "Borderline" or a "Narc" but without a formal diagnosis to support this or substantial evidence. It is almost as though these disorders are used inappropriately as a blanket label for all shitty, abusive or manipulative behaviour, to the detriment of those of us who live with these debilitating diagnoses and strive to get better.

How can we ever improve when the general population and a good proportion of the medical profession are consistently against our presence and actively perpetuate harmful myths? BPD results in being immediately pathologised rather than understood.

This was a beautiful eloquent response that perfectly put into words how I feel, from the assumptions to the discrimination and contempt.

It's just turning me into an even larger misanthrope. When it's other people's turn in the mental illness spotlight they want endless sympathy yet shun those they can't immediately relate to. The irony just makes me more bitter.

 

[Asingletwig]

I posted on another forum about the difficulties I face with my mental health conditions and one of the users just started attacking me because I have BPD.

They said they have family with the illness and a stalker that had BPD. That everyone with the illness is a terrible person and we all cause harm.

I just said to them that their experiences have nothing to do with me and that I don't lash out at people. I was trying to show them that they're projecting their shitty trauma onto me and it's not fair.

They then twisted a painful experience of mine, that time I was in A&E with my dad and started shouting at him because I was frustrated, and said that that was proof that I lash out.

This fucking diagnosis and the people that contribute to its stigma make me want to die.

I fucking hate this planet.
Also everyone hates mentally ill people and doesn't want to befriend us but not having friends makes me a fucking weirdo?

I legitimately feel like I'm in hell.

Yeah bpd is such a cunt and what drives me crazy is that there is a trend on tiktok to pretend you have a mental disorder like bitch I dont want this fucking shit cunt of a brain you can have it. Lets watch as you self destruct and sabotage relationships because youre paro asf and cant seem to stay steady or stick to a job longer than a few weeks as you cant get out of bed.

 

[Luna77]

Hi, I have bpd, it is hell at times, I have all the symptoms except cutting. I've tried to ctb three times now, should be dead according to the Dr's but I'm still here & life's gotten worse for me. Still have hope it will get better if I can control my impulses. I act like my own worst enemy sometimes. I was abused as a child & retraumatized as an adult & logically i know it wasn't my fault. I pray the next life is better.

When I'm attracted to someone I tend to ruin it cause I get so afraid of being abandoned & rejected so I sabotage it so I can emotionally hurt that person before they hurt me. It's a horrible negative pattern & I'm so tired of myself..
Hope everyone out there is doing ok.