The Persians Who Couldn't Have Their Life

[Caycee]

A few days ago, I felt an urge to read about the Shah of Iran, his exile, and his two grown children who died, one by suicide. The other, a woman of 31, died in her London hotel from an overdose, but I don't think it was suicide. However, she was desperately unhappy based on everything I read. She lived in great wealth, traveled the world, ran with the best and brightest, she was beautiful, she was not encouraged to work because she was royal, and I guess she just was here and then she wasn't. Her brother shot himself in Boston in 2011. He was studying for a PhD in Persian History or something like that and had attended a number of Ivy League schools. In a way, these people have always been somewhere in the periphery of my psyche. To have been thrown out of their country, with their ancient lineage, and to have vast amounts of money but none of the power that a royal assumes. That must have just eaten them alive, especially the man.


The main reason I bring this up is because I am rather new to studying this subject, though I have been suicidal in my head most of my life. I always have seemed to find a way through it to another day. That could be coming to a close finally this year due to too many painful events happening all at once. The thing is that in my reading here in this forum, the impression I get is that it is very, very hard to destroy the body. I read of one poor young man who tried around 9 times and he finally did some drug I can't recall and hanged himself. I cannot do that. I am an older woman, and I'm tired, and I have to go gently into that good night. I think of this Persian woman who just went to sleep. I think of Marilyn Monroe and my best childhood friend who just simply died from Fiorcet intoxication (ruled a suicide, but I think it was an accident, as a doctor explained Fiorcet sits in the body for a long time and she had real trouble with migraines and a fear of doctors). She just fell in the bathroom and died.


There is a good book on depression called The Noonday Demon. Think it won the Pulitzer, and the author talks about his own urges to die and he said he always keeps Seconal on hand. He helped his mother die from stage 4 ovarian cancer with Seconal and champagne and she didn't vomit or fail. She just went to sleep. Are there gentle ways? I'll keep reading, and I'm really tired and upset tonight, having discovered earlier today that people I've known for over 20 years and who have been living in a trailer I own for free, have stolen the trailer because they know I want it back in order to sell it (I need the money). I don't have the fight in me to deal with eviction, civil court, etc. I wrote to them to let them know that while their actions will not be the only reason I leave this Earth by the end of the year, it will be the last one, and my blood will be on their hands. I imagine they will think I'm just being dramatic. I'll be here more often now, and apologies for any remarks that seem ignorant. I just must find a kind way to go, something that won't scare me.

 

[Joannf]

A few days ago, I felt an urge to read about the Shah of Iran, his exile, and his two grown children who died, one by suicide. The other, a woman of 31, died in her London hotel from an overdose, but I don't think it was suicide. However, she was desperately unhappy based on everything I read. She lived in great wealth, traveled the world, ran with the best and brightest, she was beautiful, she was not encouraged to work because she was royal, and I guess she just was here and then she wasn't. Her brother shot himself in Boston in 2011. He was studying for a PhD in Persian History or something like that and had attended a number of Ivy League schools. In a way, these people have always been somewhere in the periphery of my psyche. To have been thrown out of their country, with their ancient lineage, and to have vast amounts of money but none of the power that a royal assumes. That must have just eaten them alive, especially the man.


The main reason I bring this up is because I am rather new to studying this subject, though I have been suicidal in my head most of my life. I always have seemed to find a way through it to another day. That could be coming to a close finally this year due to too many painful events happening all at once. The thing is that in my reading here in this forum, the impression I get is that it is very, very hard to destroy the body. I read of one poor young man who tried around 9 times and he finally did some drug I can't recall and hanged himself. I cannot do that. I am an older woman, and I'm tired, and I have to go gently into that good night. I think of this Persian woman who just went to sleep. I think of Marilyn Monroe and my best childhood friend who just simply died from Fiorcet intoxication (ruled a suicide, but I think it was an accident, as a doctor explained Fiorcet sits in the body for a long time and she had real trouble with migraines and a fear of doctors). She just fell in the bathroom and died.


There is a good book on depression called The Noonday Demon. Think it won the Pulitzer, and the author talks about his own urges to die and he said he always keeps Seconal on hand. He helped his mother die from stage 4 ovarian cancer with Seconal and champagne and she didn't vomit or fail. She just went to sleep. Are there gentle ways? I'll keep reading, and I'm really tired and upset tonight, having discovered earlier today that people I've known for over 20 years and who have been living in a trailer I own for free, have stolen the trailer because they know I want it back in order to sell it (I need the money). I don't have the fight in me to deal with eviction, civil court, etc. I wrote to them to let them know that while their actions will not be the only reason I leave this Earth by the end of the year, it will be the last one, and my blood will be on their hands. I imagine they will think I'm just being dramatic. I'll be here more often now, and apologies for any remarks that seem ignorant. I just must find a kind way to go, something that won't scare me.

I understand your reasoning well... I'll list below what methods I find best.
Btw, you shouldn't allow yourself to be shat on... by not avenging yourself you allow evolution to degenerate - just a thought about the trailer.
Yes there are several painless methods, you would likely prefer an oral one - many here do (and quite a few of them go on living as pharma junkies, taking sedative pills, which at first produce a relaxed feeling that sufferers experience as happiness). The problem here is that you'd have to get the pills, which are all prescription drugs.
There is also the possibility to eat sodium nitrite, a food conservant. The problem seems to be to keep it down and not vomit.
Then there's the gases, where you inhale something other than air, which painlessly kills you - setting it up can be a bit complicated (you have to buy a canister of gas, or modify a scuba diver's mask, or mix two acids, or burn some charcoals just the right way) - and many here are simply too challenged to manage this. I would say it's easy (and my method of choice).
It's mostly about deciding what the best compromise is between easy availability of the necessary items, and setting them up for "consumption."
Then there's the night-night method where you 'strangle' yourself by shutting off both carotid arteries with the help of a few simple items.
Please check these methods out and decide which one you prefer, there's lots of info here but you have to look around a bit.
I can help, but this forum is chaotic and we all have to constantly search for the best articles on each method.
Will probably take a week or two to scan everything and make up your mind ;)

 

[not_a_robot]

Fentanyl and/or heroin preferred for me (though I'm told benzos should be added too). Otherwise Sn.

 

[Caycee]

Fentanyl and/or heroin preferred for me (though I'm told benzos should be added too). Otherwise Sn.

I wrote a novel featuring Frida Kahlo. One of my claims to fame is that I loved her work when not many people knew about her. I hired a screenwriter to adapt my novel into a script last year, thinking it had a chance for an Indie sale due to all the companies like Hulu, Netflix, Amazon Prime, etc. Money thrown away. Just wanted to tell you I like your picture of Frida with the strong spine (one she did not have in real life due to her accident).

 

[Caycee]

I understand your reasoning well... I'll list below what methods I find best.
Btw, you shouldn't allow yourself to be shat on... by not avenging yourself you allow evolution to degenerate - just a thought about the trailer.
Yes there are several painless methods, you would likely prefer an oral one - many here do (and quite a few of them go on living as pharma junkies, taking sedative pills, which at first produce a relaxed feeling that sufferers experience as happiness). The problem here is that you'd have to get the pills, which are all prescription drugs.
There is also the possibility to eat sodium nitrite, a food conservant. The problem seems to be to keep it down and not vomit.
Then there's the gases, where you inhale something other than air, which painlessly kills you - setting it up can be a bit complicated (you have to buy a canister of gas, or modify a scuba diver's mask, or mix two acids, or burn some charcoals just the right way) - and many here are simply too challenged to manage this. I would say it's easy (and my method of choice).
It's mostly about deciding what the best compromise is between easy availability of the necessary items, and setting them up for "consumption."
Then there's the night-night method where you 'strangle' yourself by shutting off both carotid arteries with the help of a few simple items.
Please check these methods out and decide which one you prefer, there's lots of info here but you have to look around a bit.
I can help, but this forum is chaotic and we all have to constantly search for the best articles on each method.
Will probably take a week or two to scan everything and make up your mind ;)

I was able to contact one of the people inhabiting the trailer and he said they would return it today. Today, one has a full voicemail and the other has blocked me. I can have them evicted and go through civil court, but I am 150 miles away and I must work long hours. Also, the young man has a mental disorder, and I just recently heard he can be violent, though I have never seen that in the 20+ years I've known him. I was told he would tear the trailer up or even burn it down if angered. At best, I'll win the case after time, requiring a number of long drives to the town they are in and being away from my work -- I will win a damaged trailer that might be sold as junk. I had a buyer willing to pay a good price up front. Everything was set if I'd kept my mouth shut and just taken the trailer. Instead, at the urging of a multi-millionaire business friend, I chose kindness and he told them politely that I want my trailer back. They removed it the next morning. The law is on their side as they are inhabiting the trailer, though I can go through eviction. I know a lot about magick and curses, but I'm no longer up to the fight. I am due to register for grad school online at Harvard tomorrow and I'd planned to adopt a troubled rescue cockatoo as I have experience with them...all to try to feel better. I am now not going to do any of it. I will try to post their photos of FB and say something, but FB is so very controlling. Even with giving up grad school, which required an expensive payment in mid August, I always need money as I have a small animal rescue. The animals are the reason I'm still alive, but I am going to become ruthless about them. I'm sorry if that offends anyone, but all of the cats are leukemia cats and the dogs are not pretty, and I can't find homes for them. They will go to the pound and it will be horrible -- that is my biggest hurdle, to find that coldness and strength within myself. I'm going to start this process of reading the forum. I wish there was just a simple guide with instructions. Thank you for your kind note, Joannf.

Fentanyl and/or heroin preferred for me (though I'm told benzos should be added too). Otherwise Sn.

I am finding your post interesting. I buy Percocet and Xanax from an infamous Chinese dealer who has been written up in various newspapers because he is said to lace his products with Fentanyl and some people have died. We are sort of friends. I hadn't thought of this. I wonder what he would say if I asked if I could purchase Fentanyl pills from him. I don't want to offend him. For all I know, I'm already taking it in the pills I buy from him. Who knows what is really in them, but they do work for me in terms of relieving depression and anxiety. Maybe that could be the answer. Do you know how many pills of pure Fentanyl a person has to take, and does it cause vomiting? I've read of people just taking what they thought was a pain killer and dying, so there must not be a need for a lot of pills.

 

[Joannf]

I was able to contact one of the people inhabiting the trailer and he said they would return it today. Today, one has a full voicemail and the other has blocked me. I can have them evicted and go through civil court, but I am 150 miles away and I must work long hours. Also, the young man has a mental disorder, and I just recently heard he can be violent, though I have never seen that in the 20+ years I've known him. I was told he would tear the trailer up or even burn it down if angered. At best, I'll win the case after time, requiring a number of long drives to the town they are in and being away from my work -- I will win a damaged trailer that might be sold as junk. I had a buyer willing to pay a good price up front. Everything was set if I'd kept my mouth shut and just taken the trailer. Instead, at the urging of a multi-millionaire business friend, I chose kindness and he told them politely that I want my trailer back. They removed it the next morning. The law is on their side as they are inhabiting the trailer, though I can go through eviction. I know a lot about magick and curses, but I'm no longer up to the fight. I am due to register for grad school online at Harvard tomorrow and I'd planned to adopt a troubled rescue cockatoo as I have experience with them...all to try to feel better. I am now not going to do any of it. I will try to post their photos of FB and say something, but FB is so very controlling. Even with giving up grad school, which required an expensive payment in mid August, I always need money as I have a small animal rescue. The animals are the reason I'm still alive, but I am going to become ruthless about them. I'm sorry if that offends anyone, but all of the cats are leukemia cats and the dogs are not pretty, and I can't find homes for them. They will go to the pound and it will be horrible -- that is my biggest hurdle, to find that coldness and strength within myself. I'm going to start this process of reading the forum. I wish there was just a simple guide with instructions. Thank you for your kind note, Joannf.

Oh damn, you have a LOT on your mind... yes I know this sort of situation, el lio es grande.
I think I'll postpone my workout to tomorrow on strength of this and have a glass of Porto... if you have an animal rescue then you will probably have to find a good solution for them... I only have my doggy (yeah there's a few cats in the shed but they'll manage, the terrain is big enough) and he's the reason why I have chosen a different setup for my CO machine than most others here, a big one.
Have you thought this special situation through yet ? How many are they ? I could take a dozen with me in a relaxed atmosphere... but it will only be the one. Ask me if you want to know anything, I already know a lot and I hope they won't ban me.
I talk too much, I don't always charm people and I have the wrong sort of humor.

 

[Caycee]

Oh damn, you have a LOT on your mind... yes I know this sort of situation, el lio es grande.
I think I'll postpone my workout to tomorrow on strength of this and have a glass of Porto... if you have an animal rescue then you will probably have to find a good solution for them... I only have my doggy (yeah there's a few cats in the shed but they'll manage, the terrain is big enough) and he's the reason why I have chosen a different setup for my CO machine than most others here, a big one.
Have you thought this special situation through yet ? How many are they ? I could take a dozen with me in a relaxed atmosphere... but it will only be the one. Ask me if you want to know anything, I already know a lot and I hope they won't ban me.
I talk too much, I don't always charm people and I have the wrong sort of humor.

I am utterly inappropriate, and I have thought about the animal question for years. Most of the cats are older, which is pretty good for a leukemia cat. The dogs are over 7, too. Not old, and some would be adoptable. The pound in a city nearby does make some effort to keep the animals as long as possible, though of course, they will promptly kill the cats. It would take months-to-never to find homes for them. It is hard enough to place healthy fostered animals. I have a friend trying to find homes for super healthy kittens in LA and it is really hard. I've been through it all since this has been my life for decades. Even my parents rescued animals. I am going to write to my Chinese dealer and ask if he sells Seconal, Nembutal, and/or Fentanyl. Just see what he says. I am sure he has access to Fentanyl, but he may not want to admit it.


I also wondered about an old car. I've read that the newer cars can't be used for carbon monoxide poisoning, using a water hose, but if someone bought a cheap early 80s car, would that work? I know animals could go with me that way in my SUV. You have a big CO machine? I know nothing about that kind of thing or how it works or where to get one. I cannot believe someone has not written a full "How To" book and self published. Not just for pills, but for everything. That crap like Final Exit is useless. I'm a writer and if I could live longer, I'd write the book, based on instructions/testimonials (of trouble or failure) from people here, willing to contribute. I'm done, though. I've experienced the Final Event. That is what I want to call it since due to my love for animals, I don't like that phrase, "The straw that broke the camel's back." Just accumulative experience over many years, and then that one final break to the spirit, not the back.

I have 20 cats, six chihuahuas, 3 pug mixes, 1 lab/shepherd mix, 1 chow mix.

 

[AnnaJaspers]

Sounds like a troll tbh.

I am utterly inappropriate, and I have thought about the animal question for years. Most of the cats are older, which is pretty good for a leukemia cat. The dogs are over 7, too. Not old, and some would be adoptable. The pound in a city nearby does make some effort to keep the animals as long as possible, though of course, they will promptly kill the cats. It would take months-to-never to find homes for them. It is hard enough to place healthy fostered animals. I have a friend trying to find homes for super healthy kittens in LA and it is really hard. I've been through it all since this has been my life for decades. Even my parents rescued animals. I am going to write to my Chinese dealer and ask if he sells Seconal, Nembutal, and/or Fentanyl. Just see what he says. I am sure he has access to Fentanyl, but he may not want to admit it.


I also wondered about an old car. I've read that the newer cars can't be used for carbon monoxide poisoning, using a water hose, but if someone bought a cheap early 80s car, would that work? I know animals could go with me that way in my SUV. You have a big CO machine? I know nothing about that kind of thing or how it works or where to get one. I cannot believe someone has not written a full "How To" book and self published. Not just for pills, but for everything. That crap like Final Exit is useless. I'm a writer and if I could live longer, I'd write the book, based on instructions/testimonials (of trouble or failure) from people here, willing to contribute. I'm done, though. I've experienced the Final Event. That is what I want to call it since due to my love for animals, I don't like that phrase, "The straw that broke the camel's back." Just accumulative experience over many years, and then that one final break to the spirit, not the back.

I have 20 cats, six chihuahuas, 3 pug mixes, 1 lab/shepherd mix, 1 chow mix.

You are quite the writer indeed, and should mostly stick to fiction because it's obvious to me that you are trolling....

 

[Joannf]

Sounds like a troll tbh.


You are quite the writer indeed, and should mostly stick to fiction because it's obvious to me that you are trolling....

It's always hard to be sure...
What irritated me was the fast forward to 'recreational' drugs. I think we should get rid of all the bloody junkies here.
Problem being, most junkies are somewhat suicidal. I sometimes wonder what the 'mods' here are thinking, they already gave me three ban warnings.
Are they just interested in clicks ?
Sigh...

 

[AnnaJaspers]

It's always hard to be sure...
What irritated me was the fast forward to 'recreational' drugs. I think we should get rid of all the bloody junkies here.
Problem being, most junkies are somewhat suicidal. I sometimes wonder what the 'mods' here are thinking, they already gave me three ban warnings.
Are they just interested in clicks ?
Sigh...

Hmmm....I think you have alot of misguided and misinformed opinions. And your delivery of said opinions sucks, tbh.

 

[Joannf]

Hmmm....I think you have alot of misguided and misinformed opinions. And your delivery of said opinions sucks, tbh.

You are entitled to your opinions, and it's of course quite impossible that you, as a long-term recipient of mainstream German 'information,' could be wrong.

 

[AnnaJaspers]

You are entitled to your opinions, and it's of course quite impossible that you, as a long-term recipient of mainstream German 'information,' could be wrong.

GERMAN information? WTF does that even mean?

 

[Joannf]

GERMAN information? WTF does that even mean?

If you don't know what it means, you are a sorry case. But that's really your problem.
Earth population was 3 billion in the mid 1960s
By lowering 3rd world childhood mortality, we went to 7 billion in 2010.
Do you understand what that means, girl ?
200 million years for the first three, 30 years for the next three (1990s).
Feelz good, eh ? What does it matter if we cancel evolution, as long as we feel we're doing the right thing for the humin primate ?
Simple-good "viel hilft viel" ?
But I forget, we're an intelligent species, we know what absolute morals are like.
Global IQ is 86.
So what we do is, when the population winds back in the 1st world, we start importing the folks from the third -
after they managed to kill off the gorillas, chimps and orangs, people who are unable to understand
even the merit of contraception, into the first world, so the first can also start exploding again.
Yay !
I mean, we're not stoopid, are we ? Ooga-chugga. We go by feelz, becoz dat's superior !
We will prove that this planet can be run with 15 billion happy munching humins, with and IQ level of 80 by then,
no animals (only breathe our valuable air, the only ones in existence will be bred straight into the hell of beef concentration camps),
bee robots and so on, and with an utterly religious population in a Socialist Global state
where everybody is happy, because human happiness is the only thing that counts.
Wir schaffen das !
We're not ANIMALS, are we ?
We're fallen angels.
We can live without a shitty evolution... by power of sheer delusion.
Delusion is a HUMAN RIGHT.
And this is why I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

 

[AnnaJaspers]

If you don't know what it means, you are a sorry case. But that's really your problem.
Earth population was 3 billion in the mid 1960s
By lowering 3rd world childhood mortality, we went to 7 billion in 2010.
Do you understand what that means, girl ?
200 million years for the first three, 30 years for the next three (1990s).
Feelz good, eh ? What does it matter if we cancel evolution, as long as we feel we're doing the right thing for the humin primate ?
Simple-good" viel hilft viel" ?
But I forget, we're an intelligent species, we know what absolute morals are like.
Global IQ is 86.
So what we do is, when the population winds back in the 1st world, we start importing the folks from the third -
after they managed to kill off the gorillas, chimps and orangs, the people who are unable to understand
even the merit of contraception, into the first world, so the first can also start exploding again.
Yay !
I mean, we're not stoopid, are we ? We go by feelz, becoz dat's superior !
We will prove that this planet can be run with 15 billion happy munching humins, with and IQ level of 80 by then,
no animals (only breathe our valuable air, the only ones in existence will be bred straight into the hell of beef concentration camps),
bee robots and so on, and with an utterly religious population in a Socialist Global state
where everybody is happy, because human happiness is the only thing that counts.
Wir schaffen das !

We're noty ANIMALS, are we ?

My IQ is higher than 86 but I still can't grasp what your point is.

Is it antinatalism?

 

[Joannf]

My IQ is higher than 86 but I still can't grasp what your point is.

Is it antinatalism?

Haha ;) No. Simplification is rarely a good solution...

 

[Caycee]

Sounds like a troll tbh.


You are quite the writer indeed, and should mostly stick to fiction because it's obvious to me that you are trolling....

What on Earth does this mean? Are you saying I am causing trouble? And why is the person I thanked for information liking your post? I do not post in forums often and truly have no idea what you are talking about. Because I responded to a person saying they have inappropriate humor by saying I am also inappropriate? I take medication for depression and purchase it online. Not recreational. No problem. Thanks for the info.

I'm trolling because I talked about the difficulty of placing special needs animals into safe homes? Because I spoke of my med connection as a dealer? He is a dealer. That's reality.

 

[Joannf]

What on Earth does this mean? Are you saying I am causing trouble? And why is the person I thanked for information liking your post? I do not post in forums often and truly have no idea what you are talking about. Because I responded to a person saying they have inappropriate humor by saying I am also inappropriate? I take medication for depression and purchase it online. Not recreational.

I always listen to all opinions - Anna's is only one. I haven't yet been able to make up my mind about who in this forum is more, or less psychotic.
I also frequently have to run outside into the terrain to make sure doggy doesn't catch those cats... my concentration isn't optimal maybe.
We do have trolls here, I detected at least one today, who tried to talk us into giving him a reason to kill himself.
No shit ;)
So I try keeping an open mind, that's all.
I never saw drugs as an interesting option. I had a gun - so there was that, and I checked out other ways because the gun feels terrible in my mouth and I hate the bang. So I ended up with CO, and I still think it's the most sophisticated stuff ever, and you can even take passengers.

 

[Caycee]

I always listen to all opinions - Anna's is only one. I haven't yet been able to make up my mind about who in this forum is more, or less psychotic.
I also frequently have to run outside into the terrain to make sure doggy doesn't catch those cats... my concentration isn't optimal maybe.
We do have trolls here, I detected at least one today, who tried to talk us into giving him a reason to kill himself.
No shit ;)
So I try keeping an open mind, that's all.
I never saw drugs as an interesting option. I had a gun - so there was that, and I checked out other ways because the gun feels terrible in my mouth and I hate the bang. So I ended up with CO, and I still think it's the most sophisticated stuff ever, and you can even take passengers.

I'm 64 years old, rarely write in forums, am experiencing great pain because people I've known for over 20 years stole from me yesterday, and it will be very difficult to deal with, and I am, I suppose, in a panic. I've never felt this degree of certainty that I can't keep on keeping on. It's that accumulative energy I spoke of in another thread. There is a point in life where a person breaks. I have never been called a troll and in fact I had to google it because I thought trolls were selling something. I read that it is someone trying to cause controversy or trouble. How could any post I wrote be seen as trouble or confronting, argumentative, whatever a troll does? What a cruel thing to say to someone in a forum like this, where people are suffering.Truly. If allowed, I have to stay so I can study, but I will control my posts, as I have a clearer picture now of the interactions. I appreciate the likes and the kind responses to my sudden "out of the blue" posts, but my thought today has been that it's time to get to it and begin to learn. I still would like to know more about the CO device and what it is, how it is obtained, etc. Up to you. Though I'm in a rabid gun state, I don't know how to use one. I have considered that option though and maybe it would be easier and fast, if I know what I'm doing. When/if the time comes, I just want to lie in bed and go to sleep and not wake up. That is why I mentioned those drugs in the above post.

 

[Joannf]

I'm 64 years old, rarely write in forums, am experiencing great pain because people I've known for over 20 years stole from me yesterday, and it will be very difficult to deal with, and I am, I suppose, in a panic. I've never felt this degree of certainty that I can't keep on keeping on. It's that accumulative energy I spoke of in another thread. There is a point in life where a person breaks. I have never been called a troll and in fact I had to google it because I thought trolls were selling something. I read that it is someone trying to cause controversy or trouble. How could any post I wrote be seen as trouble or confronting, argumentative, whatever a troll does? What a cruel thing to say to someone in a forum like this, where people are suffering.Truly. If allowed, I have to stay so I can study, but I will control my posts, as I have a clearer picture now of the interactions. I appreciate the likes and the kind responses to my sudden "out of the blue" posts, but my thought today has been that it's time to get to it and begin to learn. I still would like to know more about the CO device and what it is, how it is obtained, etc. Up to you. Though I'm in a rabid gun state, I don't know how to use one. I have considered that option though and maybe it would be easier and fast, if I know what I'm doing. When/if the time comes, I just want to lie in bed and go to sleep and not wake up. That is why I mentioned those drugs in the above post.

I have no problem with that. Even if you were a troll, I would see no problem ;) If you're prepared to exchange information about these matters anonymously on the Web, what difference does it actually make ? We're creating an information source even by just theorizing about the matter...
I was totally surprised to have the first panic attack of my life two days ago - and I've been in hairy situations without a frown. It was almost physical.
Yeah well.
CO is a great thing if you manage to produce it. You can buy a compressed container (the stuff is not illegal but maybe hard to get, think plausibility), or produce it by mixing formic and sulphuric acids or by making a barbecue, but carrying the burning coals inside just at the right time...
This is basically very simple, and it's certainly very inexpensive, you get charcoals everywhere and also the acids - though some people have professed difficulty in that. Then again, people here have difficulty with living as such, so why not with breathing CO ?

As anecdotal knowledge, I had many conversations here, a few with people who wanted to know real detail about the CO methods.
These are all gone, while the ones who talk about guns, medis and bathtubs full of piranhas are all still hanging out here, making themselves important.
So there.
We have a Carbon Monoxide Megathread with abt 35 pages, almost entirely abt charcoal, and a Formic + Suphuric acids method one of only 5 pages, many of which are mine. All of this with the exception of gulping something calls for a bit of rudimentary ingenuity. It's not beyond most people here, though certainly out of the reach of some.
Please have a look and call me back ;)