I struggle with this kind of dilema. Not so much practical. I don't earn enough to support my parents as well as me. For me, it's more of an emotional debt/ obligation.
It's strange though, because I have fairly strong (antinatilist) views but then, I can't ignore my emotions.
My views are that it's utterly unfair for people to bring children here in order for them to effectively have to parent them. Rather than the other way around. Either when they are younger- because they had them as an emotional crutch/ as something to use or worse- abuse.
Or- as a kind of insurance policy. That- whether they even bothered to take good care of us, we will feel obliged to take care of them in older age. Whether that's financially, emotionally or practically. I don't think it's morally right to create sebtient beings here to serve as slaves- effectively.
And that kind of includes even really good parents and children who genuinely want to care for them. I just feel like bringing children here creates a codependent relationship that works in both directions. They become so emotionally dependent on us that we simply aren't free to follow our own needs sometimes.
I tend to feel that bringing children here is primarily a selfish act. We're all taught that selfishness is wrong. Including the selfishness of suicide. But then- to a fairly callous extent, I sort of see suicide as a rejection of the selfish decision they made in the first place- by bringing us here and simply expecting/ insisting we comply- no matter how bad life gets for us.
So many here are actually stuck suffering (me included) for sometimes decades on end, because we can't bear the thought of hurting our parents. Even if our lives have prominantly consisted of hurt. Even if they played a part in hurting us. I just don't think that's a fair position to put a sentient being in.
Granted, not all will end up feeling this way but- there is that risk and, the simple fact for a lot of people is- there isn't an easy escape from this. Parents often won't let their children go- not even if their suffering is very visible. So- it's a trap effectively. It's not usually considered fair to trap a sentient being somewhere it can and will suffer.
Financially too- would be parents I think shouldn't be bringing offspring here if it's likely they won't be able to afford them. I suppose they don't have a crystal ball to even know how their later lives will pan out but, I get the sense many people do actually make the decision fairly flippantly.
Really though- it's a big ask to simply expect to rely on offspring for money, care, emotional support. Who knows what that person will go through themselves? They may simply not be able to provide those things.
Of course- all of that is my logical brain and truthfully- it creates a great deal of resentment inside- even just being expected to live and pay for my life I don't actually want.
That said, I also can't get beyond what I think my suicide would do to my Dad. No matter what my brain is logically telling me, he's still someone I love so therefore- I don't want to hurt. And, if the day comes he needs more practical support from me- I don't see how I'll be able to refuse.
Again though- it will infuriate me no end. My parents actually moved to spend their retirement 100's of miles away. Sugar coating it by saying they were doing it so as not to become a burden. I feel sure that if things get worse for them though- that expectation will in fact be there. With 100's of miles of distance to navigate on top. Truthfully, parents and their expectations infuriate me but then, we're stuck in the situation where we genuinely and undersrandably don't want to hurt the people we love. Like rounds and rounds of emotional blackmail.
I don't know what the answer is ultimately. It comes down to what you can accept in your mind. We won't have to live with the choice and its aftermath- if we are dead but then, we still have the problem of wrestling with that choice and its implications now.
