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J

Jean Améry

Enlightened
Mar 17, 2019
1,098
Suicide being easy, I tell you one thing... Not for me... No its not..

I'm getting my 2nd bottle of N this weekend... and I already started to doubt...



So? Having N in the refrigerator is easy and it doesnt makes you brave enough to drink it.
This is poor old century thinking....
"Believing its easy makes it easy"
Then why not:
"Believe you are happy and you will be happy."
"Believe you are awesome and you will be awesome, then you will not want to ctb."
I hate that kind of reasoning and thinking.


The problem is not aquiring and getting N, ------- > the hard part is to drink it! Even pouring it on a glass is easy...

I think your comparison is skewed. You can't will yourself to be happy but you do have control over your actions. When compared to the alternatives drinking a lethal liquid that you know will kill you in your sleep seems fairly easy.
 
FaceOfSilence

FaceOfSilence

Shhhh...
Feb 24, 2019
40
Also i wanted to say that i absolutely agree with Remember and also his other posts saying that only an absolute minority on SS will actually CTB.

I also think that suicide is exactly as hard as it needs to be, for better or worse, life is way too big of a deal to be shut down by a flip of a switch at one's convenience. It is, indeed, easy to achieve physically, if you're willing, but we're just not desperate enough, we look for safe, clean, peaceful methods while there are people out there who literally burn themselves alive. How hard is it to get a flammable substance and a lighter? Are you willing to condemn yourself to that? Why didn't you jump from some absurd height yet?

There is a reason why suicidal ideation is infinitely more prominent than actual attempts which are, in turn, infinitely more prominent than successful ones. We're a bunch of LARPers here, however that sounds.
 
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dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
I think your comparison is skewed. You can't will yourself to be happy but you do have control over your actions. When compared to the alternatives drinking a lethal liquid that you know will kill you in your sleep seems fairly easy.
Sure, when compared to the alternatives drinking N is a "first class ticket" to ctb.

However, thinking it would be easy,
not just beliving it in an isolated ideal sense. I mean believing it as if your life depended on it. Like you embody it and live it, taking it to heart.
even so,,, 9 out of 10 brave decided men, will not drink it...

When I say believe I don't mean just beliving it in an isolated ideal sense. I mean believing it as if your life depended on it. Like you embody it and live it, taking it to heart.

when you embody it, when you take it to heart, you dont need N, you just do it.


like they said, an absolute minority of people with N in their refrigerator would actually drink it.
 
angie

angie

need to exit
May 25, 2018
480
It is easy if you just believe that it's easy. No really, because if you just believe that it's easy then you will search the Internet for a peaceful method. And you will find that peaceful method. And then suddenly survival instinct isn't that big of a deal. And if you have any other problems related to suicide then you can research how to fix that too. And if you have any problems in your search then you can ask for help. Then survival instinct is a piece of cake, it becomes as easy as taking a pill. That is what I did. Well except that one time I had a psychotic break but that was a whole different story. Anyway, and now I have N in my refrigerator with anti-emetics and I never had a problem with survival instinct. I can now end my life whenever and however I want. All I have to do is take some pills and drink some liquid N and I will fall asleep and exit this life.
whats your plan for the anti emetic dose prior to taking the N .
thats whats holding me back .i only want to take a stat dose . dont want to chance it taking it over 24 or 48 hrs in case it has adverse effect on me .whereas with stat dose it only 45 mins until the N ,but its the amount im very unsure about .60mg seems alot but what do i know ? wish someone knew or heard for a fact of someone who actually done it this way and was successfull .
 
GeorgeJL

GeorgeJL

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2019
1,621
whats your plan for the anti emetic dose prior to taking the N .
thats whats holding me back .i only want to take a stat dose . dont want to chance it taking it over 24 or 48 hrs in case it has adverse effect on me .whereas with stat dose it only 45 mins until the N ,but its the amount im very unsure about .60mg seems alot but what do i know ? wish someone knew or heard for a fact of someone who actually done it this way and was successfull .
IDK I forgot what I decided. But these two resources should tell you.

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-2NX0jVOjCrOJycMsy3KLXHMSGL3MSnV

Click on the nembutal link.
 
RememberWhatUCameFor

RememberWhatUCameFor

dont cry for me im already dead
Nov 20, 2018
590
I'm sure a lot of people are willing and able to die when they know their death will be fairly peaceful, certain and painfree. Very few would willingly take their own life if they knew it was going to be extremely painful and prolongend.

look at the post below your post lol

they are sure and willing to die peacefully until the n stands right in front of them - then even opening a bottle becomes an impossible task

and this is what i mean: suicide is technically not difficult - you could order a 10m rope on amazon, drive to the next bridge that is higher then 5m, do a longdrop, get your neck broken or beheaded and you would have a more painless death than 99% of natural deaths - its fucking easy.

if you cant do that what makes you think you can drink the bottle of n once its in front of you?

the only difference is that the rope is easy accesable - while the n seems so far away (it isnt actually, just a few clicks away and somehow everyone gets 700$ dollar together). its a comfy feeling (...if only...i surely would), a daydream without consequences.

n loses its appeal the moment it stands in front of you and gets as real as the rope and long jump.

its the will that is the problem not the technically details. suicide is a pure question of will.
 
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J

Jean Améry

Enlightened
Mar 17, 2019
1,098
look at the post below your post lol

they are sure and willing to die peacefully until the n stands right in front of them - then even opening a bottle becomes an impossible task

and this is what i mean: suicide is technically not difficult - you could order a 10m rope on amazon, drive to the next bridge that is higher then 5m, do a longdrop, get your neck broken or beheaded and you would have a more painless death than 99% of natural deaths - its fucking easy.

if you cant do that what makes you think you can drink the bottle of n once its in front of you?

the only difference is that the rope is easy accesable - while the n seems so far away (it isnt actually, just a few clicks away and somehow everyone gets 700$ dollar together). its a comfy feeling (...if only...i surely would), a daydream without consequences.

n loses its appeal the moment it stands in front of you and gets as real as the rope and long jump.

its the will that is the problem not the technically details. suicide is a pure question of will.

I'm not sure what your point is. Persuade people suicide is impossible because it takes superhuman courage to drink N? People have done it obviously and our perceptions of reality do influence our actions. If we believe something to be impossible it will be impossible, if we believe something can be done it generally can be done.

So if I'm not willing to jump off a bridge with a rope around my neck and decapitate myself I will never be able to CTB in any other way? That makes no logical sense whatsoever.

I don't doubt many people are unsure about choosing death and maybe it is good that fear makes them hesitate and evaluate their options but if given the choice between an easy death and a hard one I believe it's rational to opt for the former. I do believe knowing you won't experience pain or horror will make it easier and drinking a liquid is obviously far more natural than it is to jump from a height.

Whether I will be able to do it if I determine it's the correct course of action remains to be seen but I'm not going to torment myself by self-doubt and I certainly do not hide behind the idea of suicide in order to justify passivity and lack of courage to live life. I work, I study and I am looking for solutions to my problems but I recognise the possibility my efforts and those of others may not be enough and I may want out.

Obviously people believe whatever they want to believe, you included. If you want to believe suicide is a near impossibility or not wanting to die in a grotesequely violent manner means one can't bring oneself to do in any other way is your business.

No-one disputes willpower is essential and fundamental in completing suicide but to pretend the means don't matter doesn't seem very believable to me. It does to me in any case and given the methods proposed on this forum it seems to be the case for many others aswell.
look at the post below your post lol

they are sure and willing to die peacefully until the n stands right in front of them - then even opening a bottle becomes an impossible task

and this is what i mean: suicide is technically not difficult - you could order a 10m rope on amazon, drive to the next bridge that is higher then 5m, do a longdrop, get your neck broken or beheaded and you would have a more painless death than 99% of natural deaths - its fucking easy.

if you cant do that what makes you think you can drink the bottle of n once its in front of you?

the only difference is that the rope is easy accesable - while the n seems so far away (it isnt actually, just a few clicks away and somehow everyone gets 700$ dollar together). its a comfy feeling (...if only...i surely would), a daydream without consequences.

n loses its appeal the moment it stands in front of you and gets as real as the rope and long jump.

its the will that is the problem not the technically details. suicide is a pure question of will.

I'd like to add that once you've acquired the means for a humane suicide the only remaining problem is indeed summoning the willpower to actually do it. That the former is easier than the latter seems obvious. On that we are in agreement.

As to the difficulty that involves: if we are unable to bring about our own death when life truly has become unlivable we have shut off the road to freedom and hell is all that will await us.
 
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RememberWhatUCameFor

RememberWhatUCameFor

dont cry for me im already dead
Nov 20, 2018
590
So if I'm not willing to jump off a bridge with a rope around my neck and decapitate myself I will never be able to CTB in any other way? That makes no logical sense whatsoever.

i indeed think that there is no big difference regarding will power between drinking n and jumping with a rope around your head - sth many will realise once n is not just a far fantasy but stands right in front of them.

there is a difference but its not big

my point is: will is the most important factor when its comes to suicide. ctb is not rocket science, not a complicated task.

kids, mentally retarded and people in difficult situations (like prison inmates) manage to kill themself all the time.
 
traumakills

traumakills

Member
Mar 17, 2019
6
I had emergency staff whilst i had massively overdosed a polypharmacy cocktail, my heart rate normally sits at 120+ and the meds got my heart rate down to 30bpm. It looked like I was dying. For sure. The staff in the emergency were making jokes about it right in front of me. "Oh fuck sake i wish shed hurry up and seriously kill herself" laughed. Made more comments and jokes. Laughed at how many years i had been struggling. I was pretty weak and paralyzed at the time and when i could pipe up i would yell "i can fucking hear you" they even said to one another they will refuse to resusitate me. Im not eligible to have DNR on my file. Its so bad.
 
RM5998

RM5998

Sack of Meat
Sep 3, 2018
2,202
Well, I'm not exactly an authority on what's easy, and opinions on this subject are mixed. I don't think there have been controlled studies on the subject, and I don't think that they'd have any useful results to report.

It's been pretty hard for me, even with a relatively painless method. I have no effects of any value, no relatives that need to be taken care of (right now, at least) and pretty much no motivation left to live. And yet putting my head into a noose and letting go needs more courage than I can muster. I just wish that there were ways to make it easier.
 
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Soon4me

Soon4me

Enlightened
Jun 15, 2018
1,591
I often here people saying Suicide is the easy way out! ... am no it's now,it's one of the most difficult things you will ever do.
 
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dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
I often here people saying Suicide is the easy way out! ... am no it's now,it's one of the most difficult things you will ever do.
anybody can disagree, because is ctb more difficult than committing to continue living with the current pain and challenge?
 
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Soon4me

Soon4me

Enlightened
Jun 15, 2018
1,591
anybody can disagree, because is it ctb more difficult than committing to continue living with the current pain and challenge?
Hi dandan i don't really understand it's not you it's me i'm stoned at the moment.
 
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
Hi dandan i don't really understand it's not you it's me i'm stoned at the moment.
that's cool, im feeling down because I cant afford a home... and im thinking when will I be... or if I risk committing to debt, will I live enough to pay for it...

I'm going through a psychadelic therapy, but have two days without consumption because I imagine I will have a very very bad trip, like the ones I had in the beginning
 
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RememberWhatUCameFor

RememberWhatUCameFor

dont cry for me im already dead
Nov 20, 2018
590
anybody can disagree, because is ctb more difficult than committing to continue living with the current pain and challenge?


yap it is


most people endure immense pain and go from rock bottom to rock bottom their whole life but still dont kill themself
 
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Soon4me

Soon4me

Enlightened
Jun 15, 2018
1,591
that's cool, im feeling down because I cant afford a home... and im thinking when will I be... or if I risk committing to debt, will I live enough to pay for it...

I'm going through a psychadelic therapy, but have two days without consumption because I imagine I will have a very very bad trip, like the ones I had in the beginning
I Hope everything works out for you.
 
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