The future

[lavenderlilylies]

This's possibly my last year alive. I have no desires, nothing i want to experience while on this earth, death is my only wish.
I have an unshakable fear of death. But when i think about it, it's worlds better than any "compromises" I make to follow my survival instincts. it's not about what I want, but which bath I'm brave enough to walk.
Living means continuing to drag this body around and acting like it isn't heavy, bearing and birthing souls i know for certain are destined to suffer, that if my fears of ending up all alone don't come true, which lets be honest, would be the least selfish outcome. And all of that for what? I'm only temporarily escaping death. If I was going to inevitably die, is there a point in even attempting to live?

 

[Infinitespace_]

there is no need to fear death, before death happens you will fall into unconsciousness. Death is nothing but a friend it is the ultimate in relaxation the deepest sleep possible

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand just wanting to be gone from this existence, I'd personally never wish to experience existence at all under any circumstances, I've only ever wished to never exist ever again. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[LowLevelChimp]

I get the OP's point but I don't fear death, I fear failing again. I've lived with suicidal thoughts for so long that when I get the drive to go ahead it will be a blessed relief. I'm so tired recently it's hard to anything, I'm so anxious and my depression is all over me it's hard to sleep.

 

[lavenderlilylies]

there is no need to fear death, before death happens you will fall into unconsciousness. Death is nothing but a friend it is the ultimate in relaxation the deepest sleep possible

Thank you

I get the OP's point but I don't fear death, I fear failing again. I've lived with suicidal thoughts for so long that when I get the drive to go ahead it will be a blessed relief. I'm so tired recently it's hard to anything, I'm so anxious and my depression is all over me it's hard to sleep.

I'm so sorry. I hope you find your peace