anonymousfoxxo
Stray Fox
- Nov 9, 2023
- 22
Here I am, a stray fox, a solitary creature of the night, gazing at myself in the reflection, laid out in the bathtub. My fur is matted and disheveled, my eyes sunken and hollow from days spent locked in my room, drowning in a sea of self-pity. I feel as though I'm on the edge of something – I can't quite grasp it, but the weight of despair is growing heavier by the day.
As I watch myself in the steamy mirror, memories swirl within me like a tornado, each one more painful than the last. They are like daggers to my heart, and I can feel my resolve weakening with every passing moment. I had tried to find solace in numbness, but the torment of my thoughts is too much to bear now.
I see myself curled up on my bed, sobbing into a pillow, wishing for it all to end. There were times when I turned to self-harm, seeking solace in the pain because it was more bearable than the emptiness inside me. The world seemed indifferent to my pain, and I began to believe that they were right – maybe I should just let go.
Time passes and the hot water starts to cool around me, a strange sense of calm begins to wash over me. As the steam dissipates, I notice something changing within me – I'm seeing glimpses of my life in reverse, like a film reel playing backward. It isn't just the painful memories; I see the moments of happiness, too – the laughter, the sunshine, and the warmth of a friend's embrace.
It dawns on me that this is it – this is the moment I have been waiting for. I reach for the razor blade I kept hidden beneath the bath mat, its cold steel comforting in its familiarity. With trembling paws, I lift it to my throat, feeling the cold metal against my skin. A single thought echoes in my mind – "This is my choice."
As the razor blade slices through my flesh, a wave of relief washes over me like a warm embrace after years of isolation. The pain is intense – searing and sharp, but there's a strange sense of peace that comes with each passing second. It's as if the world around me has become silent, allowing me to focus on the sensation of my own body shutting down.
It is now not just the mirror that shows myself with wounds, a beast with sharp claws lost within itself. It is now not only the walls that bleed, it is me. This is reality. My reality. It is no longer just hallucinations, the thing that would not leave me to peace on nights like tonight.
The blade cuts deeper into my flesh, and I can feel the warmth of my blood spreading beneath the surface of my skin. As the wound expands, a strange calmness fills me – a sense of control that has been elusive throughout my life. My heartbeat, once so erratic and out of sync with the world around me, is slowing down, matching the rhythm of my thoughts as they grow quieter.
In this moment, I am surrounded by memories – some happy, some painful, but all of them m i n e... The laughter and warmth of friends and family members , pets long lost, the sunshine on a summer day, the breeze caressing my chin, the comforting touch of a loved one. They all come flooding back to me in a whirlwind of emotions, and I realize that despite everything, they were all part of my life – however fleeting or painful those moments may have been.
As the darkness begins to encroach upon me, I see one more memory – myself as a young fox, playful and full of hope. My face is filled with a smile that's been absent for far too long, and my heart swells with a sense of freedom and release from the pain that had consumed me for so long. It's a bittersweet moment, knowing that this is the end, but there's a sense of solace in finally being able to let go.
With each passing second, my consciousness begins to fade, and I embrace the end of my suffering. The darkness consumes me, and I surrender to the inevitable – the final moments of my life. And as my heartbeat fades into silence, I am at peace with the choices I have made, knowing that in this moment, I am finally in control of my own fate.
As a stray fox, I chose death over a life filled with hurt and sorrow. My final moments were a testament to the power of memories – both happy and painful – and the freedom that comes with making one's own choice. In the end, it was finally my decision, and I found solace in that knowledge.
~Your Friend,
Foxxo, The Stray Fox
As I watch myself in the steamy mirror, memories swirl within me like a tornado, each one more painful than the last. They are like daggers to my heart, and I can feel my resolve weakening with every passing moment. I had tried to find solace in numbness, but the torment of my thoughts is too much to bear now.
I see myself curled up on my bed, sobbing into a pillow, wishing for it all to end. There were times when I turned to self-harm, seeking solace in the pain because it was more bearable than the emptiness inside me. The world seemed indifferent to my pain, and I began to believe that they were right – maybe I should just let go.
Time passes and the hot water starts to cool around me, a strange sense of calm begins to wash over me. As the steam dissipates, I notice something changing within me – I'm seeing glimpses of my life in reverse, like a film reel playing backward. It isn't just the painful memories; I see the moments of happiness, too – the laughter, the sunshine, and the warmth of a friend's embrace.
It dawns on me that this is it – this is the moment I have been waiting for. I reach for the razor blade I kept hidden beneath the bath mat, its cold steel comforting in its familiarity. With trembling paws, I lift it to my throat, feeling the cold metal against my skin. A single thought echoes in my mind – "This is my choice."
As the razor blade slices through my flesh, a wave of relief washes over me like a warm embrace after years of isolation. The pain is intense – searing and sharp, but there's a strange sense of peace that comes with each passing second. It's as if the world around me has become silent, allowing me to focus on the sensation of my own body shutting down.
It is now not just the mirror that shows myself with wounds, a beast with sharp claws lost within itself. It is now not only the walls that bleed, it is me. This is reality. My reality. It is no longer just hallucinations, the thing that would not leave me to peace on nights like tonight.
The blade cuts deeper into my flesh, and I can feel the warmth of my blood spreading beneath the surface of my skin. As the wound expands, a strange calmness fills me – a sense of control that has been elusive throughout my life. My heartbeat, once so erratic and out of sync with the world around me, is slowing down, matching the rhythm of my thoughts as they grow quieter.
In this moment, I am surrounded by memories – some happy, some painful, but all of them m i n e... The laughter and warmth of friends and family members , pets long lost, the sunshine on a summer day, the breeze caressing my chin, the comforting touch of a loved one. They all come flooding back to me in a whirlwind of emotions, and I realize that despite everything, they were all part of my life – however fleeting or painful those moments may have been.
As the darkness begins to encroach upon me, I see one more memory – myself as a young fox, playful and full of hope. My face is filled with a smile that's been absent for far too long, and my heart swells with a sense of freedom and release from the pain that had consumed me for so long. It's a bittersweet moment, knowing that this is the end, but there's a sense of solace in finally being able to let go.
With each passing second, my consciousness begins to fade, and I embrace the end of my suffering. The darkness consumes me, and I surrender to the inevitable – the final moments of my life. And as my heartbeat fades into silence, I am at peace with the choices I have made, knowing that in this moment, I am finally in control of my own fate.
As a stray fox, I chose death over a life filled with hurt and sorrow. My final moments were a testament to the power of memories – both happy and painful – and the freedom that comes with making one's own choice. In the end, it was finally my decision, and I found solace in that knowledge.
~Your Friend,
Foxxo, The Stray Fox
