Discussion The feeling that I am selfish if I don't decide on suicidie

[A_good_username]

I have done awful things when I was young (grade 3-7).I didn't rape,kill or manipulate anyone,but the actions where still awful and inexcusable.I am just happy I didn't ruin somebody's life.I hate myself so much.I have been trying to be a better person,but I still feel like the only way I can redeem myself is death.Should I just decide on suicide and get it over with?

 

[nozomu]

Only you can decide this for yourself. People change, if you change your character to reflect who you wish to become then that's all you can do

 

[timf]

Shame and guilt can be useful insofar as it is a springboard to motivate one to do better. It can become unhealthy if you cling to it after everything useful has been extracted.

 

[carac]

Have you thought about trying to do something to redeem yourself? You can't change the past but you can try to make up for the things you did in the past with good deeds, even if you are just doing this for selfish reasons everyone benefits.

 

[A_good_username]

Have you thought about trying to do something to redeem yourself? You can't change the past but you can try to make up for the things you did in the past with good deeds, even if you are just doing this for selfish reasons everyone benefits.

Yes,I have.But I've always thought I can redeem myself by punishing myself.I'll try to make this world a better place!

 

[Namensjemand]

That sounds like the wrong strategy to me. Genuine redemption after great shame shouldn't be about forcing something or being very ambitious (pushing yourself), but humility, kindness, something from the heart. while also doing uncomfortable work. Don't compensate. Actually learn from the shame. Stand its truth in everyday things. But maybe I am reading WAY too much into this and Really I am talking to myself. I don't know.