The families fighting to shut down suicide websites

[Jojogu]

The Samaritans suicide prevention charity says that the government's new online safety bill "isn't fit for purpose".

It says vulnerable adults won't be protected from graphic content about self-harm and suicide. The charity's biggest concern is smaller "pro suicide" websites which encourage users to take their own lives.

The BBC has been investigating one such website, and met the families trying to shut it down.

If you are affected by mental health issues or suicide, help and support are available at BBC Actionline.

Reporter: Angus Crawford

Video Journalist: Tony Smith

 

[Somber]

Did anyone figure out why the son wanted to commit suicide? Now it seems as if people decide to commit suicide because they come across a forum and not the other way around.

Doesn't sound like the documentary is about SS though, as people are not being encouraged to commit suicide here.

And D definitely doesn't sell N for 90£ either.

My condolences go out to the family that lost their son.

 

[Nightmare Painting]

Adults don't need anyone's protection; people that are looking for suicide methods know exactly what they're doing and why they're doing it. Pro-choice is not pro-suicide and these people aren't preventing anything with empty words, censorship, & cruelty; they push people closer to suicide.

Those that have never been truly suicidal in their life have no business making policy for those who are suicidal. My body and life are not owned by the government; least of all owned by delusional samaritans who think they're helping me. People like this are anti-choice and pro censorship; they don't care about the value of life; they care about their personal feelings. If they valued life then they'd be valuing the opinions of suicidal people and providing practical and tangible forms of relief like free healthcare, guaranteed housing & income.

There's nothing humane or morally good about forcing people to live against their will no matter what lies and mental gymnastics people like this spin in their heads.

 

[Dot]

Did anyone figure out why the son wanted to commit suicide? Now it seems as if people decide to commit suicide because they come across a forum and not the other way around.

Doesn't sound like the documentary is about SS though, as people are not being encouraged to commit suicide here.

And D definitely doesn't sell N for 90£ either.

My condolences go out to the family that lost their son.

Yh slf ws hppy & lkng @ pctres of snshne & rainbws onlne & out of nwhre ths ste jst jmpd out frm th scrn & nw slf wnts 2 ctb

Re th £90 kt - thnk tht ws fr s.n althgh hve nt fnd tht knd of srce n.ewhre on sasu

 

[Lost Magic]

Wow, here we go again. Well of course it is tragic that we are all suicidal, but if we didn't feel the way we did we wouldn't be on a bloody suicide site in the first place. Society is making people sick and stupid. No fucking wonder people want to die. Sorry but I'm tired of all these selfish cunts and I am not pussy footing around them anymore because they are grieving. We are all grieving in this hell hole of a world. Our body. Our choice.

 

[Somber]

As long as government continues stigmatizing suicide instead of providing public services that offer a full spectrum of solutions ranging from therapy & psychiatry to assistance with suicide, sources like SS and PPeH remain necessary, flawed though they might be, because they alone offer the answers you can't find anywhere else.

 

[Josuyo]

Maybe the government should actually provide real healthcare services for people suffering mentally than blaming the people who are so desperate to end their suffering that they want to die

 

[demuic]

Did anyone figure out why the son wanted to commit suicide? Now it seems as if people decide to commit suicide because they come across a forum and not the other way around.

Doesn't sound like the documentary is about SS though, as people are not being encouraged to commit suicide here.

And D definitely doesn't sell N for 90£ either.

My condolences go out to the family that lost their son.

They are talking about SS, that's one of the people that's been crusading against this site for years now, and still refusing to accept that people don't kill themselves because of a website, and still telling lies to "journalists" who are willing to spread it around for uniformed normals to gawk at.

("Jeremy" is also featured in this video a former SS user known as BipolarGuy, the long drama behind that is too much for me to recount, but he's a dick.)

"If he hadn't found that site, he'd still be here," is just exactly the logic of someone who is blinded by grief and misplaced rage. We're just the scapegoat. As if by banning this site, you are somehow "saving" people, like millions of people don't kill themselves and have killed themselves without any knowledge of this website whatsoever. It's literally doing nothing, just taking away the community for people who are struggling with the exact same things as their deceased offspring, yet in their eyes we're monsters who forced them to drink SN when they were the picture of health and happiness before ever finding this site.

Censorship is the first line of offense for angry mobs, just get rid of the thing you don't like without even trying to found out what it actually is or why it exists. Any laws that these "grieving parents" are trying to make to get SS banned will inevitably just be another way to try and limit autonomous adult's exposure to content the government and/or big tech deems as a no-no, and we know how well that tends to go historically. The ones in the US (Fixthe26) try to target Section 230, which essentially means website are not responsible for the third party content of its users, and since that part of the law is what helps huge social media giants stay afloat, there's pretty much no way they will be able to get it struck down or anything.

 

[Sanva]

There is something about knowing that a loved one or even just a stranger online is suffering, and instead of offering them actual support, just taking away the only means they have to express themselves/the only way they have out of their suffering, that seems so evil to me.

 

[Somber]

They are talking about SS, that's one of the people that's been crusading against this site for years now, and still refusing to accept that people don't kill themselves because of a website, and still telling lies to "journalists" who are willing to spread it around for uniformed normals to gawk at.

("Jeremy" is also featured in this video a former SS user known as BipolarGuy, the long drama behind that is too much for me to recount, but he's a dick.)

That was informative.

Now I understand why Exit International is limiting access to resources to those over 50 as their suicides can hardly be blamed on their lack of agency.

A young adult committing suicide is more often attributed to them being 'easily influenced' which makes third party scapegoats easy to find.

Has anyone (members, mods or administrators) ever been approached by journalists?

 

[Circles]

Whatever Joe's username was when he was here and if he actually did write that note I get the feeling like he was mad at someone from here or maybe he was banned for doing something against the rules? Like why even write that in his final note? I just don't get it.

 

[allesistgut]

Whatever Joe's username was when he was here and if he actually did write that note I get the feeling like he was mad at someone from here or maybe he was banned for doing something against the rules? Like why even write that in his final note? I just don't get it.

i am also somewhat confused about the note.

 

[MelancholyMagic]

Doesn't sound like the documentary is about SS though, as people are not being encouraged to commit suicide here.

I don't think the media's priority is accurate and careful reporting, unfortunately. They are all too happy to exaggerate or even fabricate something that will be shocking, and then run with it.

 

[Dead beat dad]

There is pain and anger here and I am sorry for anyone who has to go through that. I mean that with absolute honesty and sincerity.

Funny how there aren't any news story's about the number of lives this sites like this has saved.
Sites like these didn't make anyone want to kill themselves anymore than I can beat a bear in unarmed combat.

The sadness is not just the suicide but the story behind it. Sites like this are part of the story, not the story itself.
Ban sites like these and see what happens to suicide rates.
Anyone else have deja vu?

Love and respect

DBD

 

[waitingforrest]

The fact is that banning and censoring suicide methods won't stop people from ctb. Instead, it will make us resort to more dangerous methods because of the lack of information.

Strangely, I have never felt more urgency to ctb in a long time, but when normies start to ban all access to methods, I found myself getting ready to order SN before it gets taken down.

On another note, the contains disturbing scenes subtext is kind of morbidly funny to me. People ctb and that's the truth, it's more sad than disturbing to me. Disturbing is the same as disgusting or uncomfortable in my dictionary.

 

[BrokenBliss]

We don't know that this is SS, do we? Some things don't line up with that. The note asking to have the site shut down after making use of it is odd, too. His family blaming the site is standard, if misguided. There's a bunch of missing steps in that reasoning. We might then choose to blame them for not noticing or addressing his distress. (Also unfair, but in their line of thinking.) Have our mods commented on this?

 

[BlowingBubbles]

Sorry but I need a rant about this.
I feel nothing but compassion for the family here and their suffering, and understand them latching on to having something to blame in the midst of greif. But I caught this on the news earlier and it upset me how one sided the journalism was and angry at their failure to even touch mention any broader issues in the subject. What about our broken systems that mean people can't access treatment and support or social issues that leave people hopeless and isolated not being able to open up about suicidal feelings and be treated with kindness?

Its too easy to tell people they just need to reach out for help that in reality for many just isn't there. I have tried a number of times to access the treatment I need and qualify for with a number of diagnosed and severe health issues that have left me suffering for years and unable to function for the last few. I have been perscribed medication and when that hasn't work givenen phone numbers to call in a crisis and left languishing on a waiting list to access treatment for years now. In the last year alone my Doctor has made repeated referrals as he is not qualified to help and I have had emergency hospital admission and crisis interventions but still no access to medical treatment to recover or support to manage.

I have put all my effort and every last resource I have into trying to cope and live some kind of life. I need somewhere I can talk about my suffering and be open about the suicidal feelings i wake up crying with every morning and go to bed with praying I won't wake up.

Also the letter he left doesn't sound authentic... being active on a website forum that you want to see shut down because it encourages suicide and then spending your final moments writing about in your last words to your loved ones..

 

[NeverReallyHere]

We might then choose to blame them for not noticing or addressing his distress.

Isn't this precisely the problem though? They do blame themselves, at least unconsciously. And when guilt becomes too much to bear emotionally one tends to deflect blame onto others. That most of the real blame for this might lie with social forces far beyond the control of the victim or his family, is not a possibility which is in the mainstream media's interest to consider.

 

[BrokenBliss]

Isn't this precisely the problem though? They do blame themselves, at least unconsciously. And when guilt becomes too much to bear emotionally one tends to deflect blame onto others. That most of the real blame for this might lie with social forces far beyond the control of the victim or his family, is not a possibility which is in the mainstream media's interest to consider.

Yes, you are exactly right. While all of these articles are one-sided, I also understand the survivors' need to find blame, and you summed it up quite well. Their grief would be devastating, as would their confusion over what they missed, or might have done differently. The website becomes an emotionally charged easy target. It's hard for anyone who isn't there to get the viewpoint of someone who needs it to be over.

 

[ReallyTired]

Isn't this precisely the problem though? They do blame themselves, at least unconsciously. And when guilt becomes too much to bear emotionally one tends to deflect blame onto others. That most of the real blame for this might lie with social forces far beyond the control of the victim or his family, is not a possibility which is in the mainstream media's interest to consider.

Exactly! The parents just deflect blame onto others, so they don't have to face the fact that they failed as parents. SS is just an easy target for them.

 

[dreadpirateroberts69]

Whatever Joe's username was when he was here and if he actually did write that note I get the feeling like he was mad at someone from here or maybe he was banned for doing something against the rules? Like why even write that in his final note? I just don't get it.

I was going to say the same thing. I think it's totally bizarre that he would mention wanting the site shut down in the note. Like being pro-choice for himself, but anti-choice for everyone else, almost. Something about it doesn't add up.

 

[Blue_mist]

They want to prevent suicide?
They must provide easy access to equal high standards mental health care, they must provide livable minimum wages and social assistance for those who are suffering, they must find solutions to homelessness, constant stress of living in capitalism (modern slavery), this forum didn't kill him, the reason why he searched the internet did.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I hate these people.

 

[ExitiumVitae]

I deeply sympathize with the hurt and anger the family is feeling, but I worry that the pain of their loss is clouding their judgement about these sites. I highly doubt that Joe took his own life because of a suicide forum, it's never that simple. Often it's a much deeper and complex reason even if the suicidal person doesn't realize it themselves like a combination of mental illness, life events, habits etc. No one is encouraging or pushing people to end their life on this forum as most people here strongly believe in personal freedom. I personally give advice on hanging because botching up your suicide and ending up paralyzed for the rest of your life with the tormented mind you are already suffering from is a hell I wish on no person, I think (the inevitable) death is more humane. Seeing this saddens me because I think it's nothing but a distraction from any real solutions. I feel like they should be more occupied on why their family member suffered enough to browse the forum in the first place.

 

[D&D]

I have aired my thoughts on the same subject in the number of previous threads.

I can only add that, in my experience, when a young person (under 25 yo) suicided, parents, generally speaking, fall into two broad categories; those that look for reasons/causes/blame everywhere EXCEPT in themselves, and those that look for the same but ONLY in themselves. The first group, again generally speaking, recovers/moves on at least somewhat, the other does not.

 

[occamsrazor]

These people are out of touch with reality. It's sad I see their tears but the reality is they didn't know the darkness and suffering their son was experiencing. I haven't been on this website but for a few days and already I see it's supportive in the best way possible. The comments from those that want to cbt or are in process commonly feel more support from strangers here than their own families and friends. And I'm not saying support with going through with it but support in love, kindness and information. The bigger issue needs addressed; reality is sick, society is sicker and suicide and mental illness is increasing by the ten fold. A human was not meant to evolve to the society we created. Once families like the one in the video, friends and even the government decide it's time to listen and not blame but act in full support then things may start to change.

Love to all of you on this website. You have a friend in me

 

[MusashiX]

I have a no-mercy attitude towards these family members advocating censorship and blaming a website for the death of their loved ones. How irrational do you have to be to blame a website. Their loved one did the research, gathered materials then carried out the act. Give me a break. Lol.

 

[Istanbulite]

Wow, the fact BBC too picked this up is staggering

 

[Chinaski]

Wow, the fact BBC too picked this up is staggering

Tbf BBC did a full Panorama on this website a while back, it was quite upsetting to view tbqh.

 

[Dot]

Tbf BBC did a full Panorama on this website a while back, it was quite upsetting to view tbqh.

Dd nt C tht - hw lng ag/ ws tht