The bus approaches.

[BipolarExpress]

If all goes as planned, I will be taking my dose of SN tomorrow morning. I have an email scheduled to go out to some of my friends a few days after my death, and they can share the news with the rest of my social network.

I wish it didn't have to be this way, but... I think I'm too idealistic for this world. The gap between what is and what ought to be is so vast that it defies comprehension, and I have little to no power to fulfil my ideals. At the same time, I'm not the kind of person who retreats into fantasy to avoid the world, since fantasy by definition is unreal. I want the truth to be better than it is, not to escape the truth. There is one way out of this world that is guaranteed. Why delay the inevitable? If I must face cold reality, why not face the coldest truth of all: mortality?

 

[TydalWave]

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Wish we'd crossed paths in life because I share a similar outlook and would have loved to have known you; but I wish you all the best.

 

[Zegers]

Wish you to go to a place where you can live fully and joyfully

 

[Outandproud]

If you change ur mind we are still here..
Sleep well

 

[TheCrowCalls]

Beautifully put

 

[letmebreathe]

It's okay if you end up backing out for whatever reason.

 

[Rounded Agony]

I've really been enjoying seeing your output around the site since you showed up. I think I remember even noticing your avatar the day you joined, when I got home all sleep deprived from my sleep "study". I resonate very much with a lot of what you say but alas, this bio-organism has not yet relented enough to allow me to exit.

As others have said and will say, you have a place here if you need to return. But if you are to be free, I wish it is the most beautiful and freeing departure without any suffering.

 

[UtopianElephant]

If all goes as planned, I will be taking my dose of SN tomorrow morning. I have an email scheduled to go out to some of my friends a few days after my death, and they can share the news with the rest of my social network.

I wish it didn't have to be this way, but... I think I'm too idealistic for this world. The gap between what is and what ought to be is so vast that it defies comprehension, and I have little to no power to fulfil my ideals. At the same time, I'm not the kind of person who retreats into fantasy to avoid the world, since fantasy by definition is unreal. I want the truth to be better than it is, not to escape the truth. There is one way out of this world that is guaranteed. Why delay the inevitable? If I must face cold reality, why not face the coldest truth of all: mortality?

What would the world need to be like for you to be more satisfied or okay with it? Is it the smaller things about the world that make it unacceptable, or is it the world in its complete picture that you do not agree with?

 

[goneStar]

Incredibly based perspective on the world, 1 - 1 correspondence with how I view it. The powerlessness is especially devastating - the fact that you can't just changr it all with enough hard work. Godspeed my friend.

 

[Deo volente]

I want the truth to be better than it is, not to escape the truth.

It is almost ironic that one with such integrity should see death as their only option. It makes sense though. I think it is the nature of human perception that we live in a fog of illusion. It is probably the only way most people can get through their lives without being paralyzed by anguish. For those that slip the veil, I don't think there is any honest comfort to be had in living on. People have even set themselves alight, so overpowering was the struggle of their convictions against the desolation of the world.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-immolation

If you truly were wondering why one might delay the inevitable though, you might consider the outsized impact a small act in the present could have on the future. Think of every story in which a small change to the past drastically alters the future. Impossible to predict but interesting to ponder.

Good luck.

 

[MyChoiceToLeave]

OP, do you mind sharing a list of medications you are on since your username indicates you have bipolar as a dx just like me?

 

[makethepainstop]

If all goes as planned, I will be taking my dose of SN tomorrow morning. I have an email scheduled to go out to some of my friends a few days after my death, and they can share the news with the rest of my social network.

I wish it didn't have to be this way, but... I think I'm too idealistic for this world. The gap between what is and what ought to be is so vast that it defies comprehension, and I have little to no power to fulfil my ideals. At the same time, I'm not the kind of person who retreats into fantasy to avoid the world, since fantasy by definition is unreal. I want the truth to be better than it is, not to escape the truth. There is one way out of this world that is guaranteed. Why delay the inevitable? If I must face cold reality, why not face the coldest truth of all: mortality?

Understood. I'm sorry you are in such pain. We should be seeing each other soon. Love.

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

Per ardua ad astra

 

[GasMonkey]

See you on the Other Side.

 

[Pentobarbital_Plz]

May TRUE peace be your only truth <3

 

[Girl-shaped Wound]

I think I'm too idealistic for this world. The gap between what is and what ought to be is so vast that it defies comprehension, and I have little to no power to fulfil my ideals. At the same time, I'm not the kind of person who retreats into fantasy to avoid the world, since fantasy by definition is unreal. I want the truth to be better than it is, not to escape the truth.

Relatable as fuck. Wishing you the best with all my heart
BTW love your pp and nick.

 

[Shivali]

 

[Lonerzepam]

OP, do you mind sharing a list of medications you are on since your username indicates you have bipolar as a dx just like me?

I'm on Lamotrigin for Bipolar and Hppd (Perception Disorder)

 

[FuneralCry]

Your feelings towards life are understandable, at least to me it makes sense not wanting to endure a life that isn't satisfying in any way. I personally see no point to delaying the inevitable and suffering all for the sake of it, when instead I could already be gone, I would certainly be gone at this point if suicide is not such a struggle for me. But it must be a relief having your method all planned, I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[BipolarExpress]

Thank you all so much. I'm still here—I decided to push it back a while—but I still plan to go very soon.

(The problem is that I keep breaking the SN fast. I want this to be a thoughtful, peaceful exit, and being hangry disrupts that.)

 

[BipolarExpress]

All right. I've just mixed up the SN and am going to take it shortly. Good night, everyone. I hope I won't be logging in after this.

 

[MidnightDream]

Best of luck to you! Wish you all the peace and love in the world, you'll be truly missed around here <3

 

[Finding Sirius]

Goodbye and good luck. I wish you a peaceful transition out of this world.

 

[Challu]

All right. I've just mixed up the SN and am going to take it shortly. Good night, everyone. I hope I won't be logging in after this.

sorry. I'm sorry.

 

[BipolarExpress]

Thank you so much.

Fortunately, I don't think this is the time. I mixed it up, took a small sip, and spat it out immediately. The taste wasn't that bad, but I knew in the moment that suicide wasn't for me. I would rather try to live a better life than end it prematurely. I'll keep the SN as "insurance," but I hope I won't need to use it.

 

[Challu]

Thank you so much.

Fortunately, I don't think this is the time. I mixed it up, took a small sip, and spat it out immediately. The taste wasn't that bad, but I knew in the moment that suicide wasn't for me. I would rather try to live a better life than end it prematurely. I'll keep the SN as "insurance," but I hope I won't need to use it.

Hey, I'm not gunna lie. I am relieved to see this. I don't know if saying things like that is taboo, but I'm glad for you. With any decision, choose what satisfies you. <3

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Thank you so much.

Fortunately, I don't think this is the time. I mixed it up, took a small sip, and spat it out immediately. The taste wasn't that bad, but I knew in the moment that suicide wasn't for me. I would rather try to live a better life than end it prematurely. I'll keep the SN as "insurance," but I hope I won't need to use it.

Good luck. I hope you have success building a life worth living.

 

[777]

Thank you so much.

Fortunately, I don't think this is the time. I mixed it up, took a small sip, and spat it out immediately. The taste wasn't that bad, but I knew in the moment that suicide wasn't for me. I would rather try to live a better life than end it prematurely. I'll keep the SN as "insurance," but I hope I won't need to use it.

You made a wonderful decision. I wish you good fortunes, and that you can prosper in life. You're a valuable soul who can find abundance in life.

 

[jodes2]

Thank you so much.

Fortunately, I don't think this is the time. I mixed it up, took a small sip, and spat it out immediately. The taste wasn't that bad, but I knew in the moment that suicide wasn't for me. I would rather try to live a better life than end it prematurely. I'll keep the SN as "insurance," but I hope I won't need to use it.

I'm so glad you're giving it another go! Just work on fixing things one at a time, and don't forget about trying to have fun in between, it's so important for everything

 

[SpiroSundae]

Rest well <3