so im already one of the senior members here in rehab now.. 3 more weeks to go! and Bob's your uncle! (..Fanny's your aunt?)
its been a week from hell for me.. i packed my bags twice already but got interventiond by mates and instructors.. so im gonna stay.. its so mf hard digging up past pains.. every little thing triggers my flight and trust mode.. im anxious angry and upset a lot lately.. therapy is exhausting and so painful! i miss raving i need a road trip asap! to be on the move! just drive!.. as y'all know my motto! The Plan Is--- There Is No Plan!
i miss my departed loved ones im very lonely and im also afraid to commit to this new path im in.. letting go of the past and the CTB mentality which has been such a safe mode for me these months ever since my love died in my arms.. who am i and why?.. i hate myself more that i even know.. people say i have changed miraculously from 2 months ago when i arrived at rehab so im gonna take their word for it.. but facing your self and demons is harder than hard..
thank god for music! yesterday a psychotic man threw all the furniture out his window and i saw it all braek and shatter in the yard and some landed in the pool.. it was so satisfying watching things get destroyed.. sweet relief.. love you guys x
feeling my inner Ice Princess emerging..
but all i wanna do is fuck shit up! im desperate! ! !
! ! !
@BlackPoppet I LOVE YOU SISTER X