meatballlover
Member
- Feb 23, 2026
- 39
I was struggling heavily for around 6 months, barely able to think about anything other than my urge to die and my overly complicated life. After a while i guess it calmed down a little and thats where i am now. Lost all my friends and dont have much to live for. Yes, it sucked, but also ironically brought some stability. Rather than feeling pityful i simply feel empty now. Neither things getting better, neither worse. But damn always the same. Like eating plain white rice every day. Yet nothing too miserable happens to me. It sometimes feels like I am just ungrateful for my life and that my suicidality is unjustified. I am always stuck in the past and thinking about the present isnt much better considering its so boring. I function normally and i am not sad too often, but i cant remember the last time i was happy.
