"That's not what I'm saying": What do doctors/mental health professionals misunderstand about you?

[NZkiwi]

I think a lot of us deal with both good/bad doctors/mental health professionals.

I'm currently under the public mental health system, trying to engage but still 50/50 about recovery vs killing my self.

I think doctors sometimes underestimate how suicidal I am because I seem calm and functional when I talk about it
I've been living suicidal ideation for years, I'm just used to it. I'm an functional adult, I pay rent, taxes and can generlly fly under the rader.

I wish I they could see because I'm not bleeding on them, that doesn't mean I'm not hurting

I've given up asking for help.

 

[trying ungracefully]

My therapist thinks I am arguing a lot when I just want to feel heard. We've talked about it so things have gotten better in the sessions but for a while it caused conflict to the point I would be crying and she had no idea what led to that point.

 

[Insufficent]

My therapist takes very seriosly my suicidial ideation because im so calm and relived with it. He even took me to mental hospital when we desided that it was a best decicion at that point. Was an acute situation.

Now the doctor from work healthbenefits (or what ever its called) can only write meds and couole of hours on a therapist. He's what i call a legal drugdealer.

 

[ConfusedClouds]

I've had a medical doctor (consultant, not psych) gaslighting me (I think - I don't have full confidence in my understanding of the term).

She prescribed me a med for 'if and when I have symptoms'. I hate taking meds/bug pharma in general. I don't want to be masking new issues when I know where I stand/feel with existing issues. Plus the confusion when the possible side effects list is similar to the original symptoms plus it lists some opposites too. Like wtf. Anyway. 2 months later I'd tried the med like 2-3 times for 2-3 days max. On asking if I felt better from it I said 'no, no change, I dunno what I'm watching for'. To which she reworded 'I think you ARE feeling better on the med'. Eventually I thought we got better understanding (tbf she saw me getting upset and sat trying to explain to me a bit more, going over time) and I agreed to try full time on the med for a while just to see.
I then went to see my GP for a second opinion. He had no record that I'd even been picked up by a consultant - as far as he knew I was still on waitlists for the referral. So I explained all the above and he was super helpful and reassuring (but he was also a bit stuck because he had been blindsided with no info from consultant). A week or so later, he had chased the consultant himself to get an update. He sent me a letter to confirm things. In it is the phrase 'improvement from the med'. In some ways I'm glad she hadn't contacted him as it meant I had got my side of the story in there first.

The consultant has had so many other failures too or maybe her secretary is shit. But I get unhelpful vibes from both. She referred me for 3 MRIs but when I made my booking, the MRI place only had a referral for 2. When I chased the secretary she was over defensive and seemed certain that I was referred for the right ones. Then the centre sends the reports direct to the referring practitioner. I.e back to her. Not to my GP. At the 2nd appt, she didn't have the reports and just assumed I hadn't bothered getting them done or something. No. I'd had them done like the week after the 1st appt and had to wait another 8 weeks for this next appt. She tried blaming my GP for not sending them. I had not seen my GP since the initial referral like 7 months before. I was lucky. My physio had access to my MRI portal after a previous scan she had ordered, so had been able to access them and share them with me. So I was showing them to my consultant on my phone. Like WTF.

I could go on, but just getting petty. They also struggle to believe my symptoms because I'm physically strong and fit so have essentially self managed and masked/ignored for probably years without realising it might be something significant. But thats another argument to vent about elsewhere

 

[ConfusedClouds]

In terms of therapy, I had a lot of issues getting my point across/feeling understood at first. After time (like years) we built a better relationship/understanding and some work arounds, but it never fully cleared. And if I've tried anyone new it just felt unheard/back to square one in frustration.

Getting asked a question that I want to explore but not knowing what to say. Either my brain has gone blank or is spinning with too much to find words. To then getting shut down with something along the lines of 'its ok if you're not ready to talk about it...' then moving on. But. Thats the point. I need to be.

Or when I've zoned out and therapist used to leave it as silence in their way to try and get me to open up. But I'm not processing nor thinking, just blank. Wasting time. Thankfully she got better at spotting this one and I also developed a bit of rudimentary signals/sign language to try communicate when I was thinking or lost or zone out and she could bring it back then.

The other was early doors saying something about 'you need to put in boundaries'. When I see boundaries as a huge barrier to everything. I can't upset other peoples boundaries, but to do that, I have to be flexible and fit around everyone. Which makes it impossible to have boundaries in some ways. Like non-tessellating shapes. Things sit next to each other but there's these awkward gaps in between where I'm stuck. But I can't become a rigid shape myself because I won't fit/be able to move.

 

[Cyaneed]

My doctor would never have me admitted to psych. He knows that I have antipsychiatry views because of system trauma. He knows about my suicidal thoughts and all, but he respects me enough not to put me in the hospital.

 

[SuicidalCheese]

When I was a bit younger, I was treated quite terribly when it came to psychiatrists. I was unable to speak to people I didn't know, and after like three sessions, the folks started shouting, and after that beating, and after that......yeah, I don't like visiting shrinks anymore, and I never tell them why, when I have to see them, and I just feel like shit for that.

 

[UserFromNowhere]

Honestly, what caused friction (not conflict, just... incompatibility?) between me and my old therapist was just a difference in style. I'd wanted help, but I wasn't looking to "be fixed" or "change my life." I just wanted someone who would listen, not someone who would provide worksheets and "homework" and try to change my behavior. Of course, had I known that, I probably never would've gone into therapeutic treatment anyways as there aren't really any therapists around that offer that treatment.

 

[NZkiwi]

i had to explain to my psychiatrist today what a situationship was

she had to google it

not a friends with benefit
not a commited relationship
got there in the end lol

 

[Twistedliesinside]

My GP told me she didn't think I was at risk of suicide, despite having expressed honestly the ideations. My psychologist who I no longer see, told me it sounds like I've "fully processed my trauma" lol.

I may have fully intellectualised and analysed my trauma, but by no means does that translate to emotional or a healthy emotional relationship with it.

I've had a GP even tell me are you sure you want to say that, after I said I was currently feeling suicidal. I said it two more times after he kept explaining he would have to send me to the hospital which I knew, then I just dropped it and left. Never saw him again and he was my family GP I had seen all my life.

Now I work in mental health, I still hate the system and I can really see why a chain is only as strong as its' weakest link.

Even humanity is only as good as the worst person. The world, as good as the hardest countries to survive in.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Twistedliesinside]

I think cats are better for mental health regardless of their qualifications.

 

[limenlux]

I don't feel as if the impact of my physical health problems on my mental health, and vice versa, are being properly acknowledged, let alone taken into account. My treatment feels very compartmentalized between five different doctors who seem to have zero interest in one another's activities.