Venting Thanks for allowing me to vent earlier this week. Mini-update (like anyone cares lol but setting the record straight, I guess)

[ChildrensITV]

Thanks for not banning me for venting about my experience in that now-locked thread. I realize that I generalized a lot and most of what I said doesn't apply to the men and women here, and maybe even many in society. Like I said, it was full of generalizations from my viewpoint and experiences.

Sorry if anybody felt personally attacked in the thread.

As for an update on the situation. The girl I've been dating said that she is just stressed right now. I asked her if I could help, if I am the cause, if there is anything I can do to help. She said "not everything is about you ". Time will tell if she is just letting me down easy, if she will say something like: "Although it's not about you, I don't feel ready to juggle my stress and a relationship" or if she will let me support and love her.

I have had such anxiety over the past few days. Anytime I am speaking to a girl, it doesn't cure my decades-long depression, cuz my depression has almost nothing to do with relationships. But it does give me something to look forward to in this life. Do you understand? Like, I am so broken by past trauma that I'm pretty much a dead man walking, but the prospect of a relationship, or the prospect of a job or any nugget of goodness I can eek out of this shitty life - I will take as fuel, escapism, or motivation to keep going. I don't expect ever to LIKE life. I just want it to not be SO HOSTILE to me.

To any women reading this who are speaking to a guy, don't shut him out when you're depressed. Most of us, if we're the right one, want to support you and will give you all the time and space you need.

 

[ChildrensITV]

Usually, I say good morning to her every morning. Today, I tried not saying anything to see if she could send a message to me for a change. She didn't. I should have trusted what I know. If a woman isn't infatuated with you then she doesn't like you. I dunno why I deluded myself. I dunno why I thought I could be slightly happy on this piece of shit planet. I should know that I get NOTHING on this planet. I can't even die of the covid vaccine. I can't catch a fucking break.

It was my fault for thinking I could have something in my life that would make life slightly less dogshit. I'm a fucking moron. I have absolutely NOTHING. At least if I were smart, I could cope by earning lots of money, going abroad, filling my time with seeing nice scenery and eating exotic food. But no, I'm low-IQ to add to my other billion problems.

All nongoodlooking or non-smart males should be courtmarshalled before 18. This world is not for us.

 

[SexyIncél]

I hope things have gotten better in the meantime?

 

[halleyscomet]

If she can't be bothered to take a couple of minutes out of her day to text you back, she is not worth your time. You deserve to be appreciated and cared for the same way you do for them. If she is not matching your efforts, she is not worth it. I know you may think lowly of yourself, but please understand that you deserve better then that.

But please stop generalising all women as this and that, that is what made people so angry with you in the first post. Generalising all women as this or that comes across misogynistic, I know that may not be your intention but that is what it comes across as. This is one women out of a few billion on this planet, I promise you that there are women out there who are worth your efforts.

 

[SexyIncél]

But please stop generalising all women as this and that, that is what made people so angry with you in the first post. Generalising all women as this or that comes across misogynistic, I know that may not be your intention but that is what it comes across as.

Well yeah, he apologized about his generalizations. Just as you understandably wished your thread free from culture wars and to center you... then please, I didn't ask how the OP's doing so that others would bring up culture wars & "people so angry with" him. He already laughs at the notion that "anyone cares" how he's doing

He says he's low-IQ, so it's really tough for him. If you have a tough time thinking, everything's much harder

I'm sure there's gals for him, but he's gotta walk the road to find them. That's the problem he faces

 

[halleyscomet]

Well yeah, he apologized about his generalizations. Just as you understandably wished your thread free from culture wars and to center you... then please, I didn't ask how the OP's doing so that others would bring up culture wars & "people so angry with him". He already laughs at the notion that "anyone cares" how he's doing

He says he's low-IQ, so it's really tough for him. If you have a tough time thinking, everything's much harder

What has this got to do with my post? I think you enjoy starting drama at this point because I was just explaining that not all women will treat him like that, and that he deserves better. What culture wars am I exactly starting? Generalising all women as horrible isn't going to help him find a partner that treats him right, I'm trying to explain that not all women will treat him like this and that there are women who will like him as he is.

 

[Dark Moon]

Usually, I say good morning to her every morning. Today, I tried not saying anything to see if she could send a message to me for a change. She didn't. I should have trusted what I know. If a woman isn't infatuated with you then she doesn't like you. I dunno why I deluded myself. I dunno why I thought I could be slightly happy on this piece of shit planet. I should know that I get NOTHING on this planet. I can't even die of the covid vaccine. I can't catch a fucking break.

It was my fault for thinking I could have something in my life that would make life slightly less dogshit. I'm a fucking moron. I have absolutely NOTHING. At least if I were smart, I could cope by earning lots of money, going abroad, filling my time with seeing nice scenery and eating exotic food. But no, I'm low-IQ to add to my other billion problems.

All nongoodlooking or non-smart males should be courtmarshalled before 18. This world is not for us.

I'm in a similar boat, it's tough for me to get relationships, I'm inept at socializing and that's probably because of my Asperger. I don't know if I am good looking or not.

That women just wasn't attracted to you or didn't like you I think.

 

[SexyIncél]

I'm trying to explain that not all women will treat him like this and that there are women who will like him as he is.

Here we agree. So the puzzle is, how does he find her? Doesn't have much money. But he apparently works out; improves his body. He's actually pretty damn funny, a comic genius when you look at his PMs with her. (Though I think... it's not good to post private messages, who knows how that could go wrong. But people do that all the time, so maybe I'm just over-conservative here)

 

[halleyscomet]

Here we agree. So the puzzle is, how does he find her? Doesn't have much money. But he apparently works out; improves his body. He's actually pretty damn funny, a comic genius when you look at his PMs with her. (Though I think... it's not good to post private messages, who knows how that could go wrong)

You just have to keep on trying and hope for the best. Everyone has a difficult time finding the right person. Unfortunately no matter how attractive or funny you are, while it does help, it still takes a while to find the right person.

 

[SexyIncél]

You just have to keep on trying and hope for the best. Everyone has a difficult time finding the right person. Unfortunately no matter how attractive or funny you are, while it does help, it still takes a while to find the right person.

That's true, but I think it's also important to level up. Simply keeping on trying — with doomed strategy/tactics — comes close to the popular definition of insanity

As I imagine you'd agree, blackpill theories are astonishingly bad for this. Because they say you'll inevitably fail. They're theories for those lost in despair

One constraint on him trying repeatedly, is the money our dear OP spends on dates. He pointed out it's keeping him from meeting other gals; he's close to broke. So he can't yet implement your strategy & keep trying. He needs to fix that problem/approach somehow, so he can do as you point out

 

[halleyscomet]

That's true, but I think it's also important to level up. Simply keeping on trying — with doomed strategy/tactics — comes close to the popular definition of insanity

As I imagine you'd agree, blackpill theories are astonishingly bad for this. Because they say you'll inevitably fail. They're theories for those lost in despair

One constraint on him trying repeatedly, is the money our dear OP spends on dates. He pointed out it's keeping him from meeting other gals; he's close to broke. So he can't yet implement your strategy & keep trying. He needs to fix that problem somehow, so he can do as you point out

I don't think you need money for a good date. If a girl demands that much money to be spent on her, she probably is only there for that said money. Coming up with some wholesome dates on a budget might be quite helpful, also they're much cuter.

 

[SexyIncél]

I don't think you need money for a good date. If a girl demands that much money to be spent on her, she probably is only there for that said money. Coming up with some wholesome dates on a budget might be quite helpful, also they're much cuter.

Good point. My current model is that the ability to stir emotion is much more important. Lots of broke guys in relationships. Perhaps they may have a harder time maintaining the relationship longer term (you know, with money stress & whatnot), but that's later

Did you get the impression that he's maybe crowding her too fast? Centering on a relationship with her too much — rather than mutual interests? Or am I off?

 

[ForsakenDial]

Since I was aware of OP's previous post, I was thrilled for him. I believed he had found a nice woman who would adore him. He is deserving of it. Despite his kindness in those texts, she didn't think much of him. He must continue to make an effort. He has a great chance of landing a girl. Im so sad this is where the thread is going.

 

[ChildrensITV]

I hope things have gotten better in the meantime?

They got way worse and now it's over. I have decided to dissociate from life and pretend I am living in a cartoon. I can't handle my life. Thanks for asking.

If she can't be bothered to take a couple of minutes out of her day to text you back, she is not worth your time. You deserve to be appreciated and cared for the same way you do for them. If she is not matching your efforts, she is not worth it. I know you may think lowly of yourself, but please understand that you deserve better then that.

But please stop generalising all women as this and that, that is what made people so angry with you in the first post. Generalising all women as this or that comes across misogynistic, I know that may not be your intention but that is what it comes across as. This is one women out of a few billion on this planet, I promise you that there are women out there who are worth your efforts.

Thank you Halley. I know that there are some good women out there. The trouble is, most of them don't like ugly men so the pickings are slim. It's not IMPOSSIBLE to find one who likes me, but VERY unlikely. I will continue to believe I can find one of the good women out there cuz:

1. Blind naive hope and stupidity
2. I feel compelled to. I want to give and receive love.
3. Without a partner, life is even more shit.