Story I hate being a man so MUCH. Society will evolve past the need for us soon. Fucking GOOD. Nobody deserves to live life as a fucking male. SHITSHOW

[ChildrensITV]

In 2023, I was ready to END my life. I'm old as fuck and tried to make life work. It didn't. I got SN before it was outlawed here. I saw therapists. Time passed.

> I am ugly and male so meeting women is hard. 99.999% reject me. For good reason. I wouldn't date me if I had rich, goodlooking tall men begging to date me. I don't blame them at all.
> I met a woman on Online-Dating (OLD). She matched with me. She is from a traditional background although some aspects of her are very modern.
> We got speaking, I tried to jump through the FUCKING HOOPS as a MALE: make her laugh, be confident, show playfulness, show that you have value, bla fucking bla.
> We moved over to whatsapp. I valued her and loved her as a person. I didn't need anything from her but to know that she liked me.
> I arranged a date cuz I'm the fucking MALE. Researched the places, the time, everything.
> We went on the date. I liked the date but wasn't sure she liked me. So when when the bill came I asked her: "what are you okay with doing?". She said: "It's up to you". I decided to split the bill cuz, if she doesn't like me, I need some of that money to pay for the NEXT date with a DIFFERENT woman, cuz I'm a FUCKING MALE and GOTTA PAY, DANCE and be a CLOWN out here.
> The next day, she says "you showed mixed messages cuz you didn't pay the whole bill".
> I try to make it up to her by sending gifts to her house - also cuz I liked her and wanted to treat her how she wants to be treated.
> I was falling in love with her and wanted to do anything to make her happy. Uber Eats made good money out of me.
> Second date happened. I organized it - I booked and paid for the activity and booked and paid for the bar afterwards - again cuz I have a XY chromosomes and am a FUCKING MALE. We had a good 2nd date. We kissed. She was holding back a LOT though. I was happy with the scraps she gave my FUCKING MALE-ASS.
> During texting, I get a weird feeling that the dynamic has changed. Something just feels different and it makes me go into the third date unconfident.
> Third date happens. I plan it again cuz I have penis. I buy her a thing she wanted but can't get in her area and bring it with me. I buy roses along the way cuz she says she likes flowers. At this point, I've spent £100s on her and don't even know if she likes me. Buf if I had gone on cheap dates with her, she would have been offended. You can't win with XY chromosomes unless you're in the top 10% of men.
> We go on the third date, Saturday. It's good but hard to be intimate during the activity. At the bar, after, it's loud, no privacy. She seems a bit distant. She doesn't look at me. I would have expected way more intimacy. I was not pushing for sex. I just wanted more touching. Hell, I would be happy just to know she liked me back.
> The day after the date, she spends most of the day sleeping and only speaks to me during the evening. But very formally. Something feels different.
> Tonight (me being on a strike and me lifting her to squat her are running jokes we've had):




It's clear I'm fucking ANNOYING to her and she is waiting for a good time to tell me to go fuck myself.

(My mother doesn't like me either. Narcissist. Fearful-Avoidant. She should have aborted me. She should have been aborted herself. She's depressed too.)

The joke is, as a FUCKING MALE, I can't even do the "We need to talk. Tell me how you feel about us" thing cuz that reeks of insecurity which FUCKING MALES are not supposed to exhibit. As males, we want to find a woman that we would dive in front of a bullet for. We don't need a woman to do anything but love us. She could be a homeless woman in rags. She doesn't need to have status or money or a car. Just EXIST and LIKE US.

A few simple demands that you must meet as a FUCKING MALE:

> Be tall
> Be masculine
> Be goodlooking without makeup or surgery.
> Try not to go bald
> Have a good job so you can be a provider
> Have status and don't be a loser
> Pay for everything otherwise you're a loser
> Have a diamond-cutting boner on demand
> Protect people from threats and know what to do in emergencies
> Be stoic, don't cry.

If you do all this, you might be in the RUNNINGS to date a woman. You're so privileged.

And I bet the replies to this will be: "well maybe you did something wrong", "you're probably a hateful incel" - the only person I hate is myself. I'm just so fucking past being a male. I would wish it on my worst enemy cuz he deserves it. It blows my mind that people think being a male is GOOD. Maybe if you're Ian Somerhalder or Tyrese Beckford. We need this planet to have fewer males IMO. We've outgrown the need for us. We're disposable SCUM. If I were younger and a different race, I would persue being a different gender. Anything beats living like this. Trapped as a male.

Apparently, there are female streamers on Twitch who fall asleep livestreaming, and wake up to $1000s of donations. I am not blaming women for this. I'm blaming FUCKING MALES. What a LAME GENDER we are. It's just STRUGGLING, BEGGING, and TRYING til we're dead. If there is anything I can do to erad....OK. I don't wanna get banned.

Give all of the males on this forum a loving girlfriend and they would be willing to stick around.

No offence to any of the amazing people here, ofc​

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'd want to die even more than I already do too if I had put in that much effort only for it to blow up in my face like that. I'm sure some people might want to downplay your issues. They'll blame your insecurity for all your problems as if it's so easy to just completely remove all insecurity. But hey at least you'll make 30% more income in whatever job you have.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

I read in full. I'm sorry you're struggling so badly, and I think you've done well to vent some of that feeling into a safe space.

I have no dating advice. I am peacefully single, surrounded by a group of close friends. I'm not gay but I'm their gay best friend lol. Most are women. It's what I need. I am actually not really prepared for the intimacy of a relationship and it took me a long time to accept that and it turns out that I can seek validation and support without depending on any specific person.

I've actually dated the majority of my close friend group too. [EDIT@PS] But my point is, dude you're never going to find a properly validating connection because the idea of communication is a construct, the idea of personalities is a construct, what we are is a boiling froth of biomaterial percolated by data which originates in somebody else, passes through us and then emerges as an idea in a third party and we remain none the wiser of the subconscious mechanisms by which all this operates.

IF you wanna buy into the idea of a genuine human connection then go for it, but don't hold your breath. You might as well focus on interfacing your own self with the world and society at large rather than attempting to interface directly with another human being. In that state, at least you'll have built an adapter and you can then use that as a framework with which to translate and begin communicating.

I ramble a lot, but you know. I am doing my best to communicate in my preferred medium of communication and this is what's coming out... so you think an in person date which is basically 75% random circumstance is going to work better?

PS: dating my friends all happened in the past, before I understood my own emotions and my reaction to feeling affection was to FALL IN LOVE and nullify my own identity, bite onto them like an angler fish and begin to give up my own organs. Way too much lol. Now I know what my emotions mean a little bit better.

 

[kilowatt]

You know, you don't need to keep winging being the stereotypical manly provider. You're trying way too hard and that's obviously not enjoyable on your side. I'm a woman and I fully sustain a relationship where the other one never communicates and states their feelings is never a healthy one. Sure, you might wanna impress a chick, but you're seriously not gonna have much luck if your only goal is to put on a good enough act.
There's always plenty fish in the sea, and you're not gonna be happy unless you find one that accepts the way you are.

And no offense but I think it's pretty childish to generalize and speak for an entire gender just because your situation is not the best. Wishing you luck

 

[Roseate]

Honestly it's not any easier to be a woman either and not all woman see things that but you have to understand, woman are valid for putting up their walls. I know plenty of woman who accepted scraps and now they're miserable, I've accepted scraps, didn't care about looks and at the end of the day, it's gotten me nowhere but more pain from the people who claimed to love you. It's at least helped me learn to not empathize with man cuz I see more man hurting woman than the opposite. There is like all these rules in society that most of us aren't going to meet. It just wasn't the right person. And you know there is this rule that whoever asks whoever out pays the bills but all of this could've been avoided had you BOTH communicated beforehand. It was 2 dates, you could've wasted years being the only one making effort just for the same thing to happen. I think the sooner we learn that love isn't real, the easier life will get. Love is a fantasy that life sells us to somehow convince us life is worth living. You should never measure your worth based on whether or not you can find someone to love you because no one can teach you how to love yourself and men who hate themselves rarely ever treat a woman right anyways. The world doesn't owe anyone a loving relationships, that goes beyond our human rights.

 

[willitpass]

As a woman, I think you have convinced yourself that certain things are fact that are in reality purely situational. I would much rather go on a date/be in a relationship with someone who shows up and is their honest self. I don't care about the bullshit of who splits the bill, who plans the date, that's all stereotypical gender roles that I think are stupid and prefer not to follow. I want a man to show up and show me who he's going to be the rest of the relationship. I don't want to gauge someone who is putting on an act, I want to see if I feel a connection to the real person. It seems like in general the girl you met with was lacking in her communication skills as well, but that is not exemplary of all females, just as your experience isn't exemplary of all males. To be quite honest, stereotypical masculine ideals like "they have to be tall and strong and stoic" are a turn off for me. I want a man who will cry, I don't give two shits what he looks like, I don't want to be his sugar baby. So if you don't want to he those things, stop trying to be those things and find a woman who is interested in who you are. Turning dating into something it isn't because you believe all of these random ideas to the point that you hate it and want to die is the point where you need to take a step back and say wtf am I doing. If what you're doing makes you hate life that much, it's time for a new perspective on it.

Also the generalization that all men on here would be cured if they found a woman is honestly ridiculous and shallow. There are plenty of men on here who are not struggling because they lack a relationship. They are struggling with severe mental or physical health issues and/or other life experiences and I'm sure would find that statement rather offensive. That's like saying all women on here would be cured if we looked like Victoria's secret models.

 

[ManchildLoser]

Im in the same boat as you, however im old and never got a single date my whole life...because i already know its going to hurt badly.

I dont know if its because women today have very high standard, or because we're just losers compared to other men, but, one thing i know for sure is that men like us are going to suffer, alone, and be judged for it. There is no escape...only pain, rejection and shamed by women.

The only true solution is to ctb, and hope the next life will be better.
One famous quote that is Brutal but true :

"Men are running a marathon, competing against each other and working hard. Women are just waiting at the finish line"

 

[yyytry]

OP you are epic. That shrew ain't worth your intelligence or your time.

 

[ManchildLoser]

There are plenty of men on here who are not struggling because they lack a relationship. They are struggling with severe mental or physical health issues and/or other life experiences and I'm sure would find that statement rather offensive.

You are completly missing the point.

First of all, WE ARE struggling with mental issues, why do you exclude us from that group? Why do you think we ended here?? Thats a double standard right there.

Second, we are not talking about men with severe disabilties, because even if these men had no relationship, society is NOT going to shame them for it, because of their handicap. Its not their fault. But for guys like us who, on the surface, seems normal, society will judge us based on that lack of experience and can totally destroy our self esteem. ( just like you tried to banalize our issues because we are "bad men")

 

[willitpass]

You are completly missing the point.

First of all, WE ARE struggling with mental issues, why do you exclude us from that group? Why do you think we ended here?? Thats a double standard right there.

Second, we are not talking about men with severe disabilties, because even if these men had no relationship, society is NOT going to shame them for it, because of their handicap. Its not their fault. But for guys like us who, on the surface, seems normal, society will judge us based on that lack of experience and can totally destroy our self esteem. ( just like you tried to banalize our issues because we are "bad men")

You're putting words in my mouth. I never called anyone "bad men" or said you aren't also suffering from mental health issues. I'm not going to get into an argument about this, the conversation is ending here and I will not be replying again. But don't put words in my mouth.

 

[anhedonya]

"Men like us are going to suffer. I don't understand why women look down on me. They must have very high standards or something cause all they do is reject and shame me :/"

"Hi. I am a woman and I don't want men to torture themselves and pretend to be people they're not just to uphold an idea of masculinity that they think I value! I would prefer they were themselves and were on equal ground with me, actually. Maybe this idea you have that women want you to be a certain idea of masculinity is what's hurting you?"

"Stupid woman. You didn't address any of my alpha male points. Jordan Peterson was right and I have won yet another argument against these women who undervalue me. Tch. This is why I suffer, from my sheer intelligence and empathy..."

 

[Abyssal]

It's not that you are less of a man (the masculinity you speak of is largely socially constructed anyways) but rather that the lady you were with seems off in her own way. I think it's too early to say, but I see what you mean. If there really is a lack of interest, it's more that you aren't a good fit and that you need someone other than her. Women have a personality outside of "woman" and that individuality dictates more in a relationship than simply gender or paying for her meal

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Hey, I am sorry that you're suffering with this, not having a partner when you really want one can cause a nosedive in quality of life, and studies have shown that while it's true for both sexes, the effect is greater on men. It is also true that men encounter different difficulties in dating than women do, such as footing the bill. But "different" does not mean "worse." The grass is not greener on the other side. Blaming your sex is an easy scapegoat--believe me I've done it plenty myself, and have even had the thought that the best way to reduce suffering in the world would be to make all women disappear--but all it does is create friction and trap you in a ruminative cycle, especially since sex is immutable.

But accepting that can be freeing, because if it's unchangeable, then you don't have to limit yourself. No matter what you do or say, no matter how you act, no matter how you dress, you will always be a man simply by virtue of being born male. You can be the type of man who says "We need to talk," you can be the type of man who prefers splitting the bill, you can be short or bald or emotional. Do not allow your sex to limit you, and find someone who's on the same page about that. Easier said than done, I know. And though it doesn't take away the current pain you feel over not being loved, stepping away from that limiting mindset is healthier and more sustainable in the long run. I have at least found that to be the case for myself. I still whip myself into a frenzy sometimes about how it's a "curse" to be female or that it may as well be considered a "disease," but it takes up a lot less space in my head and doesn't have as much power over me.

 

[Konnsz]

Is it just me? or I can kinda sense a lack of empathy of some people towards you on this thread?

these are definitely real struggles in a man's life, so much pressure constantly, it's valid, I'm sorry you are going through this.

It would be nice if some people in the thread had a little more tact when addressing your points, and believe me, most of the stuff, it's not your fault, theres almost nothing you could do to change them.

I'm sorry, I wish you the best.

The lady you were with seems off in her own way. I think it's too early to say, but I see what you mean. If there really is a lack of interest, it's more that you aren't a good fit and that you need someone other than her. Women have a personality outside of "woman" and that individuality dictates more in a relationship than simply gender or paying for her meal

I sense the same thing, someone that is interested in someone else will take initiative as well, the interest he's giving it's not being reciprocated at all, and
He wishes for her a lot
but
she doesnt wish him as much as he wishes for her

i feel it is mostly onesided?

again, we are spectators, we don't have the whole picture there's a chance that we are wrong, but this is what I sensed when reading everything.

 

[ChildrensITV]

But hey at least you'll make 30% more income in whatever job you have.

If you compare all of menkind's earnings with all of womenkind's earnings, there might be a 30% earnings' gap. If you compare what I or men I know earn with women. There is no wage gap. In fact, most of the women I know of are doing better than most of the men.

The Wage Gap is the Apex fallacy at its finest. Imagine thinking that it has any baring on a homeless man or a man earning minimum wage.

I like how society doesn't talk about the love gap though. How many people from each sex would take a bullet for their partner?

I read in full. I'm sorry you're struggling so badly, and I think you've done well to vent some of that feeling into a safe space.

I woke up and was surprised I wasn't banned for venting this much. I'm thankful to the mods for allowing me to vent. The one thing that would keep me from CTB is a borderline-meaningful job or a girlfriend. Something to wake up for other than to eat food food and suffer again. And to have a glimpse of it, only for it to get thrown in my face. It's like the Universe is telling me to CTB. I keep putting it off like a fucking moron. I knew it was time to end at decades ago. I dunno why I am still trying in vain.

I have no dating advice. I am peacefully single, surrounded by a group of close friends. I'm not gay but I'm their gay best friend lol. Most are women. It's what I need. I am actually not really prepared for the intimacy of a relationship and it took me a long time to accept that and it turns out that I can seek validation and support without depending on any specific person.

I've actually dated the majority of my close friend group too. [EDIT@PS] But my point is, dude you're never going to find a properly validating connection because the idea of communication is a construct, the idea of personalities is a construct, what we are is a boiling froth of biomaterial percolated by data which originates in somebody else, passes through us and then emerges as an idea in a third party and we remain none the wiser of the subconscious mechanisms by which all this operates.

Yes, but some people do get to experience the good, human, uplifting side to all that, while others are just here to suffer. I'm not even OPPOSED to the idea that my existence has to be shit. I'm opposed to the fact that I'm forced to live it. I just need one day's bravery and then this fucking nightmare can be over.

I ramble a lot, but you know. I am doing my best to communicate in my preferred medium of communication and this is what's coming out... so you think an in person date which is basically 75% random circumstance is going to work better?

If you weren't born a FUCKING MALE, there would be someone out there who would accept you for all your "flaws" and see them as cute. Welcome to HELL.

 

[ChildrensITV]

You know, you don't need to keep winging being the stereotypical manly provider. You're trying way too hard and that's obviously not enjoyable on your side. I'm a woman and I fully sustain a relationship where the other one never communicates and states their feelings is never a healthy one. Sure, you might wanna impress a chick, but you're seriously not gonna have much luck if your only goal is to put on a good enough act.
There's always plenty fish in the sea, and you're not gonna be happy unless you find one that accepts the way you are.

And no offense but I think it's pretty childish to generalize and speak for an entire gender just because your situation is not the best. Wishing you luck

When you're a FUCKING MALE like me, there aren't plen...ok, you know. I will grant you that. There are plenty fish in the sea, but the fish all breath the same water and want the same things. It's very hard to find one that is not like the others.

I have made some generalizations in my OP because the outliers are so rare that they get snapped up quickly.

Honestly it's not any easier to be a woman either and not all woman see things that but you have to understand, woman are valid for putting up their walls. I know plenty of woman who accepted scraps and now they're miserable, I've accepted scraps, didn't care about looks and at the end of the day, it's gotten me nowhere but more pain from the people who claimed to love you. It's at least helped me learn to not empathize with man cuz I see more man hurting woman than the opposite. There is like all these rules in society that most of us aren't going to meet. It just wasn't the right person. And you know there is this rule that whoever asks whoever out pays the bills but all of this could've been avoided had you BOTH communicated beforehand. It was 2 dates, you could've wasted years being the only one making effort just for the same thing to happen. I think the sooner we learn that love isn't real, the easier life will get. Love is a fantasy that life sells us to somehow convince us life is worth living. You should never measure your worth based on whether or not you can find someone to love you because no one can teach you how to love yourself and men who hate themselves rarely ever treat a woman right anyways. The world doesn't owe anyone a loving relationships, that goes beyond our human rights.

Yeah, women have different struggles. I accept that. Those struggles come later once they've picked the guy to be in their life, akin to struggling DURING the race. Men's struggles are more like, you can't even start to run.

I feel like she was the right person but I was the wrong person. It's a running theme that I'm always the wrong person for a friendship, a date, a job. Anything. I'm the common demoninator. This is why I need to be unalived. It's only causing more pain to me.

> "And you know there is this rule that whoever asks whoever out pays the bills"

This is just the long way of saying a FUCKING MALE should pay 99% of the time. Women don't need to ask anyone out on dates. You don't understand how much I hate being male. When I see people like Finnster who had no gender-dysphoria but just preferred life as a woman, it makes all the sense in the world to me. I hope more men wake up and realize that being male is a jip.

Just to be clear. I don't feel owed anything. I am not owed a date, a handshake, food or a job. It would just make this life a little less shitty if I could have things that people all around me take for granted. My life has been DOGSHIT for over 2 decades. I just want one or two things to keep me from necking Sodium Nitrite.

As a woman, I think you have convinced yourself that certain things are fact that are in reality purely situational. I would much rather go on a date/be in a relationship with someone who shows up and is their honest self. I don't care about the bullshit of who splits the bill, who plans the date, that's all stereotypical gender roles that I think are stupid and prefer not to follow. I want a man to show up and show me who he's going to be the rest of the relationship. I don't want to gauge someone who is putting on an act, I want to see if I feel a connection to the real person. It seems like in general the girl you met with was lacking in her communication skills as well, but that is not exemplary of all females, just as your experience isn't exemplary of all males. To be quite honest, stereotypical masculine ideals like "they have to be tall and strong and stoic" are a turn off for me. I want a man who will cry, I don't give two shits what he looks like, I don't want to be his sugar baby. So if you don't want to he those things, stop trying to be those things and find a woman who is interested in who you are. Turning dating into something it isn't because you believe all of these random ideas to the point that you hate it and want to die is the point where you need to take a step back and say wtf am I doing. If what you're doing makes you hate life that much, it's time for a new perspective on it.

Also the generalization that all men on here would be cured if they found a woman is honestly ridiculous and shallow. There are plenty of men on here who are not struggling because they lack a relationship. They are struggling with severe mental or physical health issues and/or other life experiences and I'm sure would find that statement rather offensive. That's like saying all women on here would be cured if we looked like Victoria's secret models.

I wouldn't say I wasn't my honest self. There are versions of you that you can emphasize to certain people. You don't act the same to your mother as you do to your friend.

I hate the gender roles too. People will say that they hate them but expect you to fulfill some of them anyway. I felt like I was showing my BEST SELF to her. I showed her my vulnerable side too. Maybe I showed her too much of it. Her communication was good on the first two dates. Maybe cuz the lighting was better on the third date, it showed up some feature or flaw more prominantly. Or maybe I'm just a piece of shit person who should CTB. I don't blame her for any of this. Most people consider me garbage so the problem is with me.

Have you ever had a man cry in front of you and you kept the same level of respect for him? I guess it depends on WHY he cried. If it were over someone dying, you'd be fine with that. If it were over him being late for work, you'd be questioning things.

I didn't say all men would be cured through having a girlfriend. I know that is not true cuz I certainly wouldn't be. What I said is that it would be a REASON to stick around. Family can be a reason too, but it's just not as strong a reason for me cuz family "have to" want you around whereas a random woman does not. If a man on here has physical health issues, you know that he would find it more worthwhile to stick around for a girlfriend who helps me bathe than for a nurse who does the exact same.

If every woman here looked like a VS model, they wouldn't be cured either. But those who struggle financially might feel a little less "in a pinch". They might have somewhat better interactions - or make better first impressions to superficial people.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

If you weren't born a FUCKING MALE, there would be someone out there who would accept you for all your "flaws" and see them as cute. Welcome to HELL.

Yeah, women have different struggles. I accept that. Those struggles come later once they've picked the guy to be in their life, akin to struggling DURING the race. Men's struggles are more like, you can't even start to run.

I am empathetic towards your suffering but both of these statements are flat-out false. Just to take one example, men are more likely to divorce their wife when she becomes physically ill, but the other way around is not true. Countless women have had their partners leave or become shitty to them when they get pregnant and gain weight. I myself have been rejected on grounds of flaws in my physical appearance before.

Most women on here started struggling before getting into a relationship, if they've ever even had one (many like myself haven't even been able to "start the race" yet, despite wanting to). It's not as easy as just "picking" someone, as you're implying, and women frequently struggle with finding long-term relationships, especially on OLD. Not to mention that the risk calculation is very different between men and women, so not being scrupulous can lead to horrendous outcomes.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

If being a woman is such a breeze why are there women on this forum as well?

 

[anhedonya]

If being a woman is such a breeze why are there women on this forum as well?

Careful!! The alpha males on this thread don't like thinking about reality! Lmaoooo but seriously though. These guys build such a kingdom of victimhood around themselves as if they're the only species in the world that has trouble dating. Every single group in this world, including other animals that we share almost nothing with, has trouble finding a life partner for this reason or that. If women had it so good, there'd be none on this forum. On top of that, women do kill themselves quite a lot actually, the only reason we don't see those statistics as much as male suicides is because women try to find less graphic ways to kill themselves, because they usually remember the fact that someone will have to clean up the gore afterwards. But yeah, I'm sure being born with boobs means our life is perfect and nothing bad ever happens and men are just falling at our feet... right lol

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Careful!! The alpha males on this thread don't like thinking about reality! Lmaoooo but seriously though. These guys build such a kingdom of victimhood around themselves as if they're the only species in the world that has trouble dating. Every single group in this world, including other animals that we share almost nothing with, has trouble finding a life partner for this reason or that. If women had it so good, there'd be none on this forum. On top of that, women do kill themselves quite a lot actually, the only reason we don't see those statistics as much as male suicides is because women try to find less graphic ways to kill themselves, because they usually remember the fact that someone will have to clean up the gore afterwards. But yeah, I'm sure being born with boobs means our life is perfect and nothing bad ever happens and men are just falling at our feet... right lol

Yeah it's a cope

 

[losing hope]

Below is some commentary & suicide stats from the ppl who know about these things, the Samaritians;

the statistics are clear – in terms of age, gender and socio-economic status, the group most at risk of suicide are men, in the lowest social class, in their mid-years.1 Men are three times more likely than women to end their own lives.

https://media.samaritans.org/documents/Men-and-Suicide-Report-Samaritans.pdf

• The male suicide rate was 16.1 per 100,000**, compared to a female suicide rate of 5.3 per 100,000**.
• Males aged 50-54 were found to have the highest suicide rate (23.1 per 100,000).

Latest suicide data

We share the latest suicide data for nations across the UK and Republic of Ireland in our Suicide Statistics factsheets.

www.samaritans.org

Men do talk about their issues like Chester Bennington did 6 months before he ctb'ed here;

But like OP. They arent taken seriously in my lived experience!!!

 

[willitpass]

Below is some commentary & suicide stats from the ppl who know about these things, the Samaritians;

https://media.samaritans.org/documents/Men-and-Suicide-Report-Samaritans.pdf

• The male suicide rate was 16.1 per 100,000**, compared to a female suicide rate of 5.3 per 100,000**.
• Males aged 50-54 were found to have the highest suicide rate (23.1 per 100,000).

Latest suicide data

We share the latest suicide data for nations across the UK and Republic of Ireland in our Suicide Statistics factsheets.

www.samaritans.org

Men do talk about their issues like Chester Bennington did 6 months before he ctb'ed here;

But like OP. They arent taken seriously in my lived experience!!!

Men are more likely to succeed in suicide, yes. Women are far more likely to attempt, but more likely to fail as they tend to opt for less violent but subsequently less successful methods. This argument was not about whether or not men suffer with mental health issues, they absolutely do, and unfortunately the stigma around mental health in general is still in existence for them as well. The general sense that men have to be stoic and keep everything inside and not get help is starting to ease up, but it is still a problem. However that also isn't exclusive to men, it happens to women as well. The entire argument being made here is that men are suicidal BECAUSE of women and these supposed pressures we expect them to live up to. Women are coming here and saying that these aren't true, and they are refusing to listen. Nobody said men don't have problems or men don't kill themselves or deserve to talk about their issues, we're saying using being a man and women as the scapegoat is not the issue. And that being a woman is not some fucking magical fairy land or "the end of the marathon line" like they think it is.

 

[losing hope]

I agree with OP view. As a 42 yr old man. I have never been approached by a woman for a date. They always expect me as the man to approach them. I've even had a former work colleague go off with someone who isn't suited to them (a man known to be a sex pest) just to make me feel bad for not approaching them. Men are supposed to propose as well for marriage (except for one day every 4 years the 29th of Feb).

In my lived experience women don't usually buy things / pay for the meal, and tend to put in less effort into things in general (like suicide hence why they don't succeed). I think this is also true in their jobs. Look at those industries where women tend to have a majority over men. Industries like Formula Women; Is The W Series Dead? (youtube.com) school teaching & mental health where the ratio of women versus men is usually around 4:1. shit industries....don't you agree.


Every single job I've been in the pretty girl gets all the attention, and REALLY runs the show. Even if she is the secretary, as they decide where xmas do's are etc. If war is declared, it is the men that have to fight. The men, had to die for women & children on the titanic etc, and it is men that need to hold open doors and advert their gaze. It is also know that the recent Barbie movie was feminist movie. where is the men's verison?

EDIT; also to my mind, it's also becoming shockingly easy for a woman to inflict significant damage on a man's reputation by making a vexatious, bad faith complaints with little justification.

Isaac Farnbank: How a young man was served with a Community Resolution Order for sending a woman a bunch of flowers | Conservative Home

The strange but true tale of the unjust application of a Community Resolution Order - a growing means of dealing with low level offences that can have serious consequences for employment.

conservativehome.com

Update: Barrow woman jailed for making false rape allegations | The Crown Prosecution Service

www.cps.gov.uk

Basically I do agree with OP view, and feel there are more reasons why men ctb more than women, than those that you gave.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

It is also know that the recent Barbie movie was feminist movie. where is the men's verison? Basically I do agree with OP view.

To be fair, that movie's most compelling character is a man. I found him pretty relatable too.

 

[willitpass]

I agree with OP view. As a 42 yr old man. I have never been approached by a woman for a date. They always expect me as the man to approach them. I've even had a former work colleague go off with someone who isn't suited to them (a man known to be a sex pest) just to make me feel bad for not approaching them. In my lived experience women don't usually buy things / pay for the meal, and tend to put in less effort into things in general (like suicide hence why they don't succeed).

I think this is also true in their jobs. Look at those industries where women tend to have a majority over men. Industries like Formula Women; Is The W Series Dead? (youtube.com) school teaching & mental health where the ratio of women versus men is usually around 4:1. shit industries....don't you agree.


Every single job I've been in the pretty girl gets all the attention, and REALLY runs the show. Even if she is the secretary, as they decide where xmas do's are etc. If war is declared, it is the men that have to fight. The men, had to die for women & children on the titanic etc, and it is men that need to hold open doors and advert their gaze. It is also know that the recent Barbie movie was feminist movie. where is the men's verison? Basically I do agree with OP view.

Okay you can walk it back right now with the "women don't put in effort into suicide so they fail" bullshit. There is no way you can spin that that isn't false and offensive so don't even try.

Women are not lazy. There are lazy women. Just like men are not lazy but there are lazy men. If you don't want to work in a "shit job" that you feel compelled to work in because you a man, then pick a different job. I work in a female dominated healthcare field (which is the furthest thing from a job requiring low effort, this is a notoriously difficult field both mentally and physically) and some of my best coworkers are men because they said fuck society I'll go into the field that I want. Same way, if a woman wants to work a trade job she absolutely can. If a woman wants to be a firefighter she can be a firefighter. If a man wants to be a secretary or a nurse there is nothing telling them they're not allowed.

And you know what? I've never once been asked out by a man. I don't get numbers thrown at me. I've only been in one relationship and I was the one who sought it out. I paid half the bills. I put in the work. If your experience is with shitty women who don't want to put in the work then you were with shitty women, it's not because women are shitty. So stop with the massive generalizations.

 

[Dot]

Slf apprci8 OP frustratn & cn undrstnd Y h/ wld wn2 vent abt hs strggles - tht = wht SaSu = fr n.ewy

Wht ds gt frstra8tng tho = hw thse threds alwys trn in2 'x gendr hs thngs hardr' & rsults in playng dwn th/ othr gendr issus - hw cme tht nds 2 happn

= surely enuf t/ tlk abt socl pressres on mn & hw thy r 2 mch & cn leav ppl feelng lft b-hnd

Bt commnts lke 'womn d/ nt cmmit as mch 2 n.ethng & usng 'shtty jbs' as evdnce -- womn ovrhwlmngly wrk in carng prfessns whch r knwn t/ b hrd wrk & drainng & undrpaid -- & Y r mentl hlth & teachng & nurturng indstries shtty -- agn tht = insultng

Womn r nt @ th/ end of n.e finsh-lne - womn hve jst as mch trble findng lng-trm rlatnshps wth emotnlly hlthy & stabl ppl - th/ numbr of protectns thy nd t/ prevnt b-ing usd fr sx & thrwn on a heap as sme srt of 'achievd conqust' = signifcnt

S/ slf wll nevr ply dwn th/ stggles & pressres tht mn hve - bt wld ask pls d/ nt ply womn dwn in th/ sme wy

 

[losing hope]

Okay you can walk it back right now with the "women don't put in effort into suicide so they fail" bullshit.

Where are you getting that is BS from? because look over my post history, you'll see I have been researching suicide as I might write a book on it. So I got this from Mind Charity. It is also well known that men are able to focus better on a task like driving hence why they had to make a seperate motor racing category for women. Whereas women, are better at multi tasking.

If a man wants to be a secretary or a nurse there is nothing telling them they're not allowed.

In reality men struggle to get into industries like the teaching profession. Because like feminism women tend to stick together more. Gang up on the men and they end up leaving;

"According to the National Center for Education statistics, 77% of public school teachers were female and 23 percent were male in 2020–21 – the most recent year for which there is data.

It's worse at the elementary school level where only about one in ten teachers (11 percent) are male. However, things are not much better at the secondary level where less than 4 out of 10 teachers (36 percent) are male."

The Hidden Bias Against Male Teachers

Male teachers are not seen as teachers first and foremost. We’re the enforcers of school rules. And it’s driving so many of us from the field or discouraging even more from entering it in the first…

gadflyonthewallblog.com

,

So stop with the massive generalizations.

As I said that has been my lived experience in 42 yrs. OP seems like he is also talking about lived experience and the suicide stats show men do kill themselves at least 3 times higher than women. I don't think its down to methods & how violent they are, because in my 2 yrs on this forum. When someone couldn't get SN or N and were serious. You know what, they would jump off a building or shoot themselves in the head. As I would, if my SN fails. If your serious about ctb'ing...violence ctb methods, will never be discounted if they are reliable. Again check my post history, you'll see jumping from beachy head is something I've thought about doing if my SN fails.

 

[Tesha]

How do people like me, a gay woman, ever manage to date? Imagine if all women did all or indeed most of the generalisations that have been mentioned above.

Who pays for a lesbian date? How can same sex couples even go on dates if it's always up to the man to initiate everything. By your reasoning, there wouldn't be gay couples, 'cos genetics.

That said, I do have sympathy with your frustration, just not your reasoning.

 

[Bed]

As others have basically covered everything i'm just going to speak on this point since it may give you another perspective as well.

Give all of the males on this forum a loving girlfriend and they would be willing to stick around.

As a male who was suicidal throughout a long term 5+ year relationship no it wont make me want to stick around. my problems are unrelated to relationships. yes theyre great and they do help to agree when you find the right person but yeah i was still suicidal. also grouping us all in to the point where one single thing will cure as all is pretty demeaning.

 

[losing hope]

Bt commnts lke 'womn d/ nt cmmit as mch 2 n.ethng & usng 'shtty jbs' as evdnce -- womn ovrhwlmngly wrk in carng prfessns whch r knwn t/ b hrd wrk & drainng & undrpaid -- & Y r mentl hlth & teachng & nurturng indstries shtty -- agn tht = insultng

Apologies if I came across as insulting, I didn't mean to do that. But the point I was trying to make is in reality men struggle to get into industries like the teaching profession etc.

https://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/07/sunday-review/why-dont-more-men-go-into-teaching.html

The Hidden Bias Against Male Teachers

Male teachers are not seen as teachers first and foremost. We’re the enforcers of school rules. And it’s driving so many of us from the field or discouraging even more from entering it in the first…

gadflyonthewallblog.com