Story Thank you. Goodbye

[TermStay]

Rest well sweetie

 

[LonelyKitten]

Hello.
I'm scheduling this as a final update, just in case I appear to follow through with a ctb soon.

Trying to face *this* life is still so ridiculously scary, even as deep as these recent near-completed ctb experiences had hit for me.
The irony is that ctb itself invokes a sense of safety and comfort, as much as survival instinct does have me fear the end (and honestly, at this point, it's come close to just SI alone keeping me alive).
It still would have been very interesting to see if I could recover from nothing, even if I feel that at this point, what I desire - a new life, a start over, basically - my odds of that are probably *higher* in death than survival.

In any case, I have decided to keep ctb as a a direct, prepared backup plan I can access at any time (multiple methods readied), whether I try to survive onwards or not, to help ease some of the fears while still alive.

If this message comes thru, one of two scenarios have happened:
-I have landed in some form of imprisonment without the ability to use my phone to re-adjust the scheduling.
Depending on the prospects of release/life after, I might ctb in this case.
-I have decided to take my life proactively.
Ideally, I'd have had the chance to update on which method I ended up using.
What I have readied available is:
SN / night night / tourniquet / partial or full suspension
plus Benzos to suppress SI

In any case, I'd request the thread to stay up, and to consider this the, I guess the proper posting of it, idk.
My original message still stands.
Thank you all. I have gained deeper insights into life, and a level of understanding of seeking death, here than anywhere else ever before.

I wish you all the best, and that you may find the peace or release you seek yourselves.


At this present moment, the plan is:
I'm attempting something extremely risky that may leave me alive, yet, potentially, unable to communicate for an indefinite period.
Therefore, this message is scheduled out 6 months in advance - by then it is likely that a way of a resolution will have been found (stay alive, be able to cancel the scheduling, die without being able to cancel the scheduling if the message stays the way it is right now, die after being able to cancel the scheduling again in which case I'll re-write this portion.
There is a miniscule chance that I'd continue to be unable to cancel/affect the scheduling and still be alive, but that's the least likely outcome here. I'd follow up message eventually, or still move to die after that.)

 

[Abyssal]

Hello.
I'm scheduling this as a final update, just in case I appear to follow through with a ctb soon.

Trying to face *this* life is still so ridiculously scary, even as deep as these recent near-completed ctb experiences had hit for me.
The irony is that ctb itself invokes a sense of safety and comfort, as much as survival instinct does have me fear the end (and honestly, at this point, it's come close to just SI alone keeping me alive).
It still would have been very interesting to see if I could recover from nothing, even if I feel that at this point, what I desire - a new life, a start over, basically - my odds of that are probably *higher* in death than survival.

In any case, I have decided to keep ctb as a a direct, prepared backup plan I can access at any time (multiple methods readied), whether I try to survive onwards or not, to help ease some of the fears while still alive.

If this message comes thru, one of two scenarios have happened:
-I have landed in some form of imprisonment without the ability to use my phone to re-adjust the scheduling.
Depending on the prospects of release/life after, I might ctb in this case.
-I have decided to take my life proactively.
Ideally, I'd have had the chance to update on which method I ended up using.
What I have readied available is:
SN / night night / tourniquet / partial or full suspension
plus Benzos to suppress SI

In any case, I'd request the thread to stay up, and to consider this the, I guess the proper posting of it, idk.
My original message still stands.
Thank you all. I have gained deeper insights into life, and a level of understanding of seeking death, here than anywhere else ever before.

I wish you all the best, and that you may find the peace or release you seek yourselves.


At this present moment, the plan is:
I'm attempting something extremely risky that may leave me alive, yet, potentially, unable to communicate for an indefinite period.
Therefore, this message is scheduled out 6 months in advance - by then it is likely that a way of a resolution will have been found (stay alive, be able to cancel the scheduling, die without being able to cancel the scheduling if the message stays the way it is right now, die after being able to cancel the scheduling again in which case I'll re-write this portion.
There is a miniscule chance that I'd continue to be unable to cancel/affect the scheduling and still be alive, but that's the least likely outcome here. I'd follow up message eventually, or still move to die after that.)

Don't worry @LonelyKitten, even after 6 months I still remember you. There's a likely chance that you are no longer with us, and I truly hope you are at peace. Even if you didn't return and this was a scheduled message, it was nice to see this thread again and remember what once was. Sweet dreams, your memory has lived on in your absence.

 

[cupcakesandmilk]

I remember reading this thread the day it was posted... Reading the scheduled message just feels like a punch in the gut.

Rest easy, friend; you deserve it.