Terrified of SN failure

[sourokraandfish]

So recently I had excruciating abdominal cramps due to gastroenteritis and colitis. I was extremely nauseous and vomited and I laid limp on the floor sweating and clutching my stomach until my mom found me.

Having this experience so close to my intended date makes me extremely anxious. According to other threads, it takes around 15-20 min for you to become unconscious after consuming the SN solution and I'm scared that the pain will be too much and survival instinct will kick in and I will chicken out again. Even if I can manage to endure the pain until I'm unconscious, I am still scared that somehow I mess up and it will not work or that someone finds me before I pass away. So many things can go wrong and I really cannot go through another failed attempt.

Please I really just want to fcking die why is it so hard...

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that dying should not be so difficult or unnecessarily painful. All humans deserve the option of a guaranteed, instant and reliable way to exit with no risk of the method failing. Of course many people have succeeded with SN and to me SN is more preferable to many other methods like hanging and drowning, but I know the feeling of being so desperate to leave. Life is so cruel and unfair and it is sad how so much suffering exists.

 

[Someone123]

I think that dying should not be so difficult or unnecessarily painful. All humans deserve the option of a guaranteed, instant and reliable way to exit with no risk of the method failing. Of course many people have succeeded with SN and to me SN is more preferable to many other methods like hanging and drowning, but I know the feeling of being so desperate to leave. Life is so cruel and unfair and it is sad how so much suffering exists.

I agree, though I do have full suspension as a backup plan- I would try Sn at least twice first, though. Partial is so unreliable that I am surprised it works at all, and yet some high profile celebrities have used partial successfully. It is confusing.

 

[Judy Garland]

I know. I'm afraid of failing with SN too. There is a lot that can go wrong.

 

[outrider567]

So recently I had excruciating abdominal cramps due to gastritis gastroenteritis and colitis. I was extremely nauseous and vomited and I laid limp on the floor swearing and clutching my stomach until my mom found me.

Having this experience so close to my intended date makes me extremely anxious. According to other threads, it takes around 15-20 min for you to become unconscious after consuming the SN solution and I'm scared that the pain will be too much and survival instinct will kick in and I will chicken out again. Even if I can manage to endure the pain until I'm unconscious, I am still scared that somehow I mess up and it will not work or that someone finds me before I pass away. So many things can go wrong and I really cannot go through another failed attempt.

Please I really just want to fcking die why is it so hard...

Sorry you are afflicted with those conditions--my own gastritis went away only after I stopped eating chocolate, and started drinking a lot of water and started eating spinach and carrots--Colitis is a bitch tho,my stepfather had that for decades

 

[Someone123]

I know. I'm afraid of failing with SN too. There is a lot that can go wrong.

The good thing about Sn is that it appears to have a high success rate when people follow the protocl closely, maybe 80% is a good estimate, and when it fails it seeems to usually not leave lasting damage. So it is better than most methods. Some people here did get Sn to work on the second try. Some other methods leave a lot of damage if an attempt fails, so that a person may not get to make a second attempt.

 

[befree]

In this case it might be a good idea to use Diazepam. And you should definately use Meto or Domperidone.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-with-benzodiazepines.90590/#post-1605741

 

[Lost Magic]

Maybe, you should take some time to recover from your stomach problems first. Don't feel that you need to rush, because you set an arbitrary date.

 

[sourokraandfish]

In this case it might be a good idea to use Diazepam. And you should definately use Meto or Domperidone.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-with-benzodiazepines.90590/#post-1605741

Thank you sm for the info. I will look into it. I guess I'm lucky that I currently live in a "second world" country lol. Makes it so much easier to obtain most meds. I wish this is the case for N though hhhh. I don't have any connections for that

I agree, though I do have full suspension as a backup plan- I would try Sn at least twice first, though. Partial is so unreliable that I am surprised it works at all, and yet some high profile celebrities have used partial successfully. It is confusing.

Yea. Sn is not the most ideal but it is the best in terms of accessibility and efficacy. It is all I have. The only reason I won't opt for any kind of suspension is that I think the state of my corpse hanging in the bathroom would be too haunting for my parents. A blue corpse in a sleeping position it is... Though I know that no matter what I do, my suicide would still cause immense pain and guilt for my parents. It is something that I will have to live with and torment myself forever for.

Sorry you are afflicted with those conditions--my own gastritis went away only after I stopped eating chocolate, and started drinking a lot of water and started eating spinach and carrots--Colitis is a bitch tho,my stepfather had that for decades

Thank you for your words. Abdominal pain + nausea combination is really the worst. From my experience, a stabbing wound on the arm was more bearable.

Maybe, you should take some time to recover from your stomach problems first. Don't feel that you need to rush, because you set an arbitrary date.

True. I do have the power and option to leave whenever I want. There's no need to rush. And my stomach issues can become a hindrance. Thank you for the advice.

 

[Disperato]

I think that dying should not be so difficult or unnecessarily painful. All humans deserve the option of a guaranteed, instant and reliable way to exit with no risk of the method failing. Of course many people have succeeded with SN and to me SN is more preferable to many other methods like hanging and drowning, but I know the feeling of being so desperate to leave. Life is so cruel and unfair and it is sad how so much suffering exists.

I agree.
Are there any published statistics about success or failure rates with SN?

 

[FuneralCry]

I agree.
Are there any published statistics about success or failure rates with SN?

I think that if you have questions about SN you should ask about it in the SN megathread. There is also information about SN in the resources section of the forum.
There are threads that discuss this which you can search for once you get the search function. There is a lot of information about SN on this forum but I do not really know that much other than it is recommended to follow the stans guide for success. Best wishes.

 

[tieiwi]

Hello! I had a failed sn attempt and I just want to tell you that as long you take the right dosage and follow stans method I believe it will work. I failed because I didn't take enough sn and all that happened was I vomited what I drank up. Even just taking a small amount my body started to turn blue. I could tell it was working. As someone who is sensitive to pain drinking sn wasn't painful at all. I'm not sure if it's because I took a small amount but at first I just felt sleepy, then I got a light headache due to the nausea after an hour or so. Then I vomited and thinking back it didn't feel as bad as I assumed it would. I woke up that morning feeling normal. Nothing out of the ordinary yet. That's just my experience I wanted to share.

 

[london3]

I agree.
Are there any published statistics about success or failure rates with SN?

I have made a thread with a lot of information with many links

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sodium-nitrite-sn-success-and-failure-rates.94948/

 

[Disperato]

Thank you!

 

[y0dha]

Hello! I had a failed sn attempt and I just want to tell you that as long you take the right dosage and follow stans method I believe it will work. I failed because I didn't take enough sn and all that happened was I vomited what I drank up. Even just taking a small amount my body started to turn blue. I could tell it was working. As someone who is sensitive to pain drinking sn wasn't painful at all. I'm not sure if it's because I took a small amount but at first I just felt sleepy, then I got a light headache due to the nausea after an hour or so. Then I vomited and thinking back it didn't feel as bad as I assumed it would. I woke up that morning feeling normal. Nothing out of the ordinary yet. That's just my experience I wanted to share.

Thank you for sharing your experience