GrizzlyGrapefruit

GrizzlyGrapefruit

Student
Jun 17, 2019
121
Pretty much the title. I'm just waiting for 12 am at this point, and have gotten through most of the regimen. All I have left is 30mg of propranolol, last dose of meto, tagamet, and then finally the SN.

I'm feeling a lot calmer than I was expecting to feel (even though there's still quite some time left), but I suppose that's due to me knowing with complete certainty that there's nothing I can do anymore to improve my health. I have tried absolutely everything, and even waited many months longer than I was expecting making a last ditch effort to make things right. Sad, yes, but I'm glad that I'm finally at a point where it'll be over. That is, in fact, all I've wanted for these past years: for this misery to finally end.

I'm kinda bored. Not sure what to do in the mean time, and I'm currently fighting a headache (just took tylenol though, and might take more).

I also wanted to thank everyone and this entire forum now for all the help they've provided. I found SS back before it was banned on reddit, and it has only been a place of immense comfort and support. So thank you, and I hope this place continues being such an amazing resource to those in need.

With that being said, please feel free to stick around and chat. I will be providing updates. And as I've said, I'm quite bored, so feel free to PM me too!
 
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S

Steve3PO

Member
Feb 12, 2020
14
You could postpone it again. There are some things in life worth livin. But if you feel now's the time. Then I hope you find peace.
 
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GrizzlyGrapefruit

GrizzlyGrapefruit

Student
Jun 17, 2019
121
You could postpone it again. There are some things in life worth livin. But if you feel now's the time. Then I hope you find peace.

I completely agree, and if for whatever reason I feel like not doing it tonight, I feel no shame in letting that happen. Will definitely be keeping an open mind, but I feel that things are ending tonight. The daily pain I feel is just too much to handle anymore.

Thanks for the sentiments.
 
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squirtsoda

squirtsoda

Fallen Eagle
Jan 19, 2020
324
Safe travels, I'll try to be here for you. If you're sure, you will carry through, if you're not you won't, and either is totally ok. We're here to support you whatever happens.
 
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GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Jan 11, 2020
6,727
Any topics of interest you'd like to discuss to help you pass the time?

Curious about the timing of the proplanolol -- how long are you taking before the SN? I've never seen any clear guidance about that but perhaps overlooked it.
 
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C

ctbUniquectb

Pariah
Jan 7, 2020
489
The chatroom is pretty quiet, but maybe some people will head on over if you do?
 
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D

Deleted member 14177

not home
Jan 20, 2020
346
I am here with you. I'm so sorry you've come to this decision. I hope you find peace.
 
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C

ctbUniquectb

Pariah
Jan 7, 2020
489
Also: damn, this has been a busy weekend.
 
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GrizzlyGrapefruit

GrizzlyGrapefruit

Student
Jun 17, 2019
121
Any topics of interest you'd like to discuss to help you pass the time?

I'm really not sure, and I'd be lying if I said my mind isn't scattered at the moment. I'm really trying to keep my mind off of how things used to be perfectly fine before I got sick because to this second I'm struggling to accept what has happened.

Curious about the timing of the proplanolol -- how long are you taking before the SN? I've never seen any clear guidance about that but perhaps overlooked it.

I'm actually just about to take it (so 2 hours before SN). I quickly looked up when propranolol reaches its peak concentration, and read that it could take anywhere from 1 to 4 hours, so I thought 2 hours to let it kick in would be good enough.
 
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foreverbroken28

foreverbroken28

I've gone off the deep end.
Jul 11, 2019
124
Thank you for sticking around until you CTB. I like to read the experiences as they are very helpful. As long as you feel in your heart this is what you want, that is all that matters. At the end of the day, you only have yourself to answer to. ♡

I'm sorry about your health and I pray you find peace. I'll be sticking around as well, whether you change your mind or not. Thanks for updating us.
 
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GrizzlyGrapefruit

GrizzlyGrapefruit

Student
Jun 17, 2019
121
Just took 30mg propranolol. Emotions all over the place now because I'm already so emotionally struck by the support I've already received (read: I'm tearing up). Still feeling calm and at ease about my decision.
 
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foreverbroken28

foreverbroken28

I've gone off the deep end.
Jul 11, 2019
124
A few of us are in chat if you wanna go in there as well, as someone else said. ♡
 
GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Jan 11, 2020
6,727
I'm actually just about to take it (so 2 hours before SN). I quickly looked up when propranolol reaches its peak concentration, and read that it could take anywhere from 1 to 4 hours, so I thought 2 hours to let it kick in would be good enough.

Thank you! Here's something to keep you occupied for a moment: You're awesome! Here's how you helped me:

Been wondering when to take propanolol to help with the rapid heartbeat effect, it's just not something I like, but as I said, hadn't seen it put in the timing of the method, only recommended as a nice thing to have.

I'm also going to take 1-2 g propanolol with the SN as a potentiator, but didn't think that would necessarily help with the tachycardia. So, thanks to you, I'm going to take some in advance as you're doing, and the rest with the SN.

That solved a semi-major issue for me. You're awesome! Thank you!
 
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UpandDownPrincess

UpandDownPrincess

Elementalist
Dec 31, 2019
833
GrizzlyGrapefruit-

I'm so sorry that your health has led you to this point. The way illness strikes is so completely unfair, felling so many of us without a thought.

I'll try to keep stopping by as the night progresses.

As you are aware, whatever you decide is right for you. I wish you a peaceful journey, lifted on the gossamer wings of ultimate health and wellness.

You will be missed.
:heart:
 
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GrizzlyGrapefruit

GrizzlyGrapefruit

Student
Jun 17, 2019
121
Thank you! Here's something to keep you occupied for a moment: You're awesome! Here's how you helped me:

Been wondering when to take propanolol to help with the rapid heartbeat effect, it's just not something I like, but as I said, hadn't seen it put in the timing of the method, only recommended as a nice thing to have.

I'm also going to take 1-2 g propanolol with the SN as a potentiator, but didn't think that would necessarily help with the tachycardia. So, thanks to you, I'm going to take some in advance as you're doing, and the rest with the SN.

That solved a semi-major issue for me. You're awesome! Thank you!

Glad I could help! Also, you might be interested in reading into how higher doses of propranolol might be less effective at reducing tachycardia than higher doses:
This is the reason why I'm only taking 30mg.
 
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GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Jan 11, 2020
6,727
Glad I could help! Also, you might be interested in reading into how higher doses of propranolol might be less effective at reducing tachycardia than higher doses:
This is the reason why I'm only taking 30mg.

I can't handle all this awesomeness!!!!

No wait, I totally can. Thank you! Again!
 
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sickInsominic42

sickInsominic42

My destination, eternal slumber
Feb 16, 2020
123
May it be peaceful and quick. Your in many hearts and minds
 
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PoisonedJuliet

PoisonedJuliet

You saucy boy!
Feb 12, 2020
1,191
I hope you find peace and the journey is calm. We're here for you and are holding your hand along the way:hug:
 
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Iloveyouall

Iloveyouall

Mage
Feb 12, 2020
501
You seem so at peace already, it may sound weird but it's kinda relieving. I wish you safe travel. :heart:
 
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mesohappy

mesohappy

Cat piss sammich??
Jan 10, 2020
674
Sorry life has brought you to this resolution..I send you peace and :heart: .
 
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issyishere

issyishere

Goodnight and always remember that’s life
Nov 5, 2019
441
hey are you feeling alright? still here for you. sending love and positive vibes. :heart:
 
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Dubs

Dubs

I exist without my consent.
Aug 16, 2018
176
Best of luck whatever you decide. What illness do you have or do you not care to discuss that?
 
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GrizzlyGrapefruit

GrizzlyGrapefruit

Student
Jun 17, 2019
121
hey are you feeling alright? still here for you. sending love and positive vibes. :heart:

I'm actually feeling quite better than where I was 30 minutes ago. The tylenol definitely worked in getting rid of my headache, and I'm feeling much more emotionally stable now (many thanks to all of you!).

Best of luck whatever you decide. What illness do you have or do you not care to discuss that?

I had a really bad reaction to a popular acne medication known as Accutane/isotretinoin. I have been having problems for 5 years nearly, and things have only gotten worse as time goes on. I've found that while reactions like mine are rare, there are many other people going through something similar.
 
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sickInsominic42

sickInsominic42

My destination, eternal slumber
Feb 16, 2020
123
You should consider listening to a few of your favorite songs while waiting
 
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squirtsoda

squirtsoda

Fallen Eagle
Jan 19, 2020
324
I'm actually feeling quite better than where I was 30 minutes ago. The tylenol definitely worked in getting rid of my headache, and I'm feeling much more emotionally stable now (many thanks to all of you!).



I had a really bad reaction to a popular acne medication known as Accutane/isotretinoin. I have been having problems for 5 years nearly, and things have only gotten worse as time goes on. I've found that while reactions like mine are rare, there are many other people going through something similar.
I am totally familiar with the accutane problems, it is horrible that happened to you.
 
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GrizzlyGrapefruit

GrizzlyGrapefruit

Student
Jun 17, 2019
121
You should consider listening to a few of your favorite songs while waiting

I was thinking about that, and I've actually made a playlist specifically for tonight. I wanted to wait until I got closer to actually taking the SN to start listening though. I feel like I'm hesitant to start now because it only has so many songs, and I'd like to gradually slip away while they're all still playing.
I am totally familiar with the accutane problems, it is horrible that happened to you.

Have you experienced them yourself or know someone by any chance? It's quite rare to stumble by people who know about it, so I hope you don't mind me asking.
 
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Iloveyouall

Iloveyouall

Mage
Feb 12, 2020
501
Would you like to share one of the song with us ?
 
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