Taking SN in about 2 hours. Would really appreciate any company.

[Dubs]

Ok, so I know this is very sudden, but I'm having my first second thoughts. I feel calm about it, but I was evaluating my situation, and I'm expecting a phone call from my doctor tomorrow with lab results (I'm not expecting anything to come of them).

I'm not sure if it would be a good idea to maybe discuss how grave I see this situation and maybe ask for more intensive care even though I dont think she'll be able to help. AHHHH IM SO SORRY EVERYONE I feel like I seemed so confident abouit this but now here i am doubting.

I'm only going if I'm 100% confident, which is why I have been on this website since mid 2018, and the predecessor before this. No shame at all in backing out. Suicide is the final decision and you should be 100%.

 

[Ghost2211]

It's never too late to change your mind. Many have changed their mind even after drinking it. You don't need to be sorry for wanting to live. We are to love and support you regardless of the paths you choose.

 

[sickInsominic42]

We will be by your side no matter what your choice is
How are you doing?

 

[GrizzlyGrapefruit]

Thank you everyone. I decided that me feeling this way, even with 20 minutes before I was expecting to take the SN, is reason enough to wait. As others have said, I should be 100% confident. Even though I have no idea how I can even improve my situation at this point, maybe I'm just not ready to accept that (and that's something that I need to have in order to pass peacefully -- complete acceptance).

I feel pathetic, but I guess this is better than regret. Thanks again all. I'll keep you updated if anything happens.

 

[foreverbroken28]

It's okay if you're having second thoughts. It's quite normal..nobody here will be judging you for that.

Kindness and compassion don't cost a thing.

 

[sickInsominic42]

Don't feel pathetic. You have stuff you still need to do in life. Don't go until you believe that it is time.

 

[Iloveyouall]

I'm glad you still with us.

 

[sickInsominic42]

Just keep us updated. If you ever need to talk we are always here for you, just remember that

 

[mesohappy]

Glad you are sticking around awhile.Hope your Dr. gives you good hopeful news.

 

[Dubs]

Thank you everyone. I decided that me feeling this way, even with 20 minutes before I was expecting to take the SN, is reason enough to wait. As others have said, I should be 100% confident. Even though I have no idea how I can even improve my situation at this point, maybe I'm just not ready to accept that (and that's something that I need to have in order to pass peacefully -- complete acceptance).

I feel pathetic, but I guess this is better than regret. Thanks again all. I'll keep you updated if anything happens.

Good decision, feel free to PM if you ever want to talk.

 

[faust]

We respect your decision whatever it is

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm glad you're still with us. I hope you have more peaceful days ahead

 

[TheLastGoodbye]

Glad to see you're still with us

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Please don't feel badly! And if you ever in the future decide to move forward with ctb -- though of course it would be better that you get good news and good help -- please don't hesitate to do another goodbye thread, and even decide once again to live. This thread shows value in not being alone and in receiving support.

 

[shadowchaser]

Thank you everyone. I decided that me feeling this way, even with 20 minutes before I was expecting to take the SN, is reason enough to wait. As others have said, I should be 100% confident. Even though I have no idea how I can even improve my situation at this point, maybe I'm just not ready to accept that (and that's something that I need to have in order to pass peacefully -- complete acceptance).

I feel pathetic, but I guess this is better than regret. Thanks again all. I'll keep you updated if anything happens.

You're the opposite of pathetic for being so strong and brave enough to make the decision to stay. I'm so glad you're still here with us, and so proud of you that you managed to realize how you were feeling before you did anything. Sending you love

 

[sickInsominic42]

Are you doing okay? We're always here if you need to talk

 

[Lostandfound7]

So happy ur still here with us! ♡♡♡

 

[Emily123]

Thank you everyone. I decided that me feeling this way, even with 20 minutes before I was expecting to take the SN, is reason enough to wait. As others have said, I should be 100% confident. Even though I have no idea how I can even improve my situation at this point, maybe I'm just not ready to accept that (and that's something that I need to have in order to pass peacefully -- complete acceptance).

I feel pathetic, but I guess this is better than regret. Thanks again all. I'll keep you updated if anything happens.

I hope , you hear good news from your doctor tomorrow .

 

[Potiphera]

Not pathetic at all. Going through with it if you didn't want to but thought "I've said it, can't back out now" wouldn't be a good idea. It's your life - you can decide to continue or end it whenever you want. I'm new here, but I'm glad I've found a place like this where people can share their experiences. I hope your doctor visit is helpful.

 

[SuicideBoys93]

Never in a million years would backing out of something like CTB ever be pathetic. It'd be about just over a year ago now when I was sitting in the floor with a 45 in my mouth screaming at myself to just pull the trigger. I've created pretty decent memories since then, and wouldn't have experienced any of that if I would of have just pulled the trigger. I still have my dark lows quite often but I wasn't ready at that moment in time, and ultimately glad I'm still here for the time being. Hang in there, we're all behind you!

 

[MsMaudlin]

I'm glad you are still here ❤

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I'm glad you are still here too.

 

[Deathbydemo]

@GrizzlyGrapefruit how are you feeling now?

 

[Soul]

@GrizzlyGrapefruit, here are some ((hugs)) for you to apply as needed during your de-escalation/re-emergence. You're a wonderful citrus and I'm very glad you've decided to stay. (((More hugs)))

 

[sickInsominic42]

How are you doing today?

 

[MachinaArcana]

There's nothing pathetic about any of this. I am glad you're still with us. What a grave mistake it would be to ctb unless you are 100%, sure, up until the last minute, that it's the right thing for you to do. When you can, please let us know how you're feeling - you know you will find unconditional love and support here, no matter what.

 

[bpdandme]

Don't beat yourself up, you are not pathetic! I know it can feel that way, most of us have been there, but you've made a responsible decision. No point going through something like that for you to not be 100% confident in it. You found a feeling to stay, hold on to that. We are all happy to have you and all here for you.

 

[daz4160]

hey [U]GrizzlyGrapefruit[/U] . are you still with us chuck

 

[Pryras]

Here for you and I'm sorry for the circumstances you're in. Please don't feel like you need to go through with it once you've taken it. The decision is yours and we are here in case you decide it's not your time yet. We respect your choice

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

hey [U]GrizzlyGrapefruit[/U] . are you still with us chuck

Chuck?