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clown_17

clown_17

Almost gone, it almost worked
Oct 24, 2020
288
It isn't well thought out but I'm doing a combo. I'm gonna take the sn (I don't have enough to do it alone) and then get ready for partial suspension. Hopefully it makes me pass out and then I'm dead aight cya lol
It may be expired fuck
 
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Itsallover123

Itsallover123

Student
Nov 14, 2021
137
I'm sorry. See you on the other side
 
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P

PeacefulTonic

Enlightened
Aug 10, 2021
1,006
Safe travels. I hope everything works out for you
 
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Sslsh

Sslsh

Experienced
Jan 29, 2020
293
See you on the other side
 
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VoidDesirer22

VoidDesirer22

A dream inside a locked room
Sep 6, 2021
673
A combo might lead to more nausea . Be careful.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,614
I wish you the best with your plans. I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering.
 
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liberty_222

liberty_222

psychotic
Nov 28, 2021
361
Have they been seen after this or...
 
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clown_17

clown_17

Almost gone, it almost worked
Oct 24, 2020
288
Update: I got out of the hospital yesterday. Unfortunately I failed. After taking the SN I came to believe I didn't have enough to succeed and so I decided to go to the hospital to prevent brain damage. Turns out I actually did take enough. I went unconscious in the ambulance and almost died, I had to be put on a ventilator and was not breathing for a while. I can attest that SN is physically painless although I entered a strange nightmare trip while I was unconscious. It was disorienting and felt like it lasted for years. It could've been the SN or it could've been the antidote or meds I was given but keep that in mind. The trip was quite distressing. I've heard some people say that SN doesn't give you permanent damage if you survive but that is apparently untrue. I was at high risk for liver, heart, and brain damage although I was lucky enough to avoid all of that. I wish that I hadn't gotten helo because in that case I definitely would've died. I bought my SN off what I believe is a fishing supplies store and got it shipped to Canada, so real SN is obtainable in Canada. It also didn't expire despite me having it for over a year before taking it.

Next time I'm going to try jumping. I really just want out now. Life is even worse after surviving and I've lost my few friends. My new plan is simple: once I have the opportunity I'll jump. All I need is a ten story height with concrete underneath me. If anyone has questions on what SN is like I'm open to answering.
 
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aminend

aminend

Warlock
May 24, 2020
746
Update: I got out of the hospital yesterday. Unfortunately I failed. After taking the SN I came to believe I didn't have enough to succeed and so I decided to go to the hospital to prevent brain damage. Turns out I actually did take enough. I went unconscious in the ambulance and almost died, I had to be put on a ventilator and was not breathing for a while. I can attest that SN is physically painless although I entered a strange nightmare trip while I was unconscious. It was disorienting and felt like it lasted for years. It could've been the SN or it could've been the antidote or meds I was given but keep that in mind. The trip was quite distressing. I've heard some people say that SN doesn't give you permanent damage if you survive but that is apparently untrue. I was at high risk for liver, heart, and brain damage although I was lucky enough to avoid all of that. I wish that I hadn't gotten helo because in that case I definitely would've died. I bought my SN off what I believe is a fishing supplies store and got it shipped to Canada, so real SN is obtainable in Canada. It also didn't expire despite me having it for over a year before taking it.

Next time I'm going to try jumping. I really just want out now. Life is even worse after surviving and I've lost my few friends. My new plan is simple: once I have the opportunity I'll jump. All I need is a ten story height with concrete underneath me. If anyone has questions on what SN is like I'm open to answering.
Do u think u died if u didn't call ambulance?

How long after taking SN u called ambulance? What was ur symptoms after taking SN
 
Elri

Elri

Student
Dec 2, 2021
180
SN doesn't give you brain damage, when you're dying your organs simply shut down one after another, brain is an organ too so what do you expect. Also it doesn't work as fast as it's claimed if you're serious about your cbt you have to go through process
 
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liberty_222

liberty_222

psychotic
Nov 28, 2021
361
I have a couple questions
1. Did you take any other medication other than sn
2. Did you have any other symptoms like nausea, headaches, tachycardia etc?
3. How much sn did you approximately take and if possible I'd like to know your weight too
 
clown_17

clown_17

Almost gone, it almost worked
Oct 24, 2020
288
Do u think u died if u didn't call ambulance?

How long after taking SN u called ambulance? What was ur symptoms after taking SN
Definitely. I almost died even after calling an ambulance. Without the hospital giving em methylene blue I would be dead.

I waited about 10 minutes. Initially I had a racing heart and shortness of breath. I felt slightly disoriented and heard a buzzing in my ears. I was mostly okay, talking and walking, until suddenly I was unconscious.
I have a couple questions
1. Did you take any other medication other than sn
2. Did you have any other symptoms like nausea, headaches, tachycardia etc?
3. How much sn did you approximately take and if possible I'd like to know your weight too
1. Nope. Just sodium nitrate, although I had other medications in my system from the morning (Risperidone, Zoloft, Vyvanse) I didn't follow the guide and take antiemetic. Apparently I did puke thought but I don't remember it and even after that I was still sick enough to nearly die.
2. No nausea, I had tachycardia
3. I had approx about 100 grams mixed into water, although the taste was so bad that I only got a few sips down. If these measurements make no sense it's probably because they're incorrect. I never had a scale to check how many grams of SN I had, just guessing by my eyes. Sorry I don't have exact measurements. My weight is in the 110-130 pound range.
I
SN doesn't give you brain damage, when you're dying your organs simply shut down one after another, brain is an organ too so what do you expect. Also it doesn't work as fast as it's claimed if you're serious about your cbt you have to go through process
It was quite an impulsive attempt
 
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Vasy93

Vasy93

we are dead without dying
Nov 22, 2021
104
SN doesn't give you brain damage, when you're dying your organs simply shut down one after another, brain is an organ too so what do you expect. Also it doesn't work as fast as it's claimed if you're serious about your cbt you have to go through process
Nitrite is also a potent vasodilator and can cause coronary ischemia and stroke as a result of hypotension, tachycardia, and hypoxia.
Update: I got out of the hospital yesterday. Unfortunately I failed. After taking the SN I came to believe I didn't have enough to succeed and so I decided to go to the hospital to prevent brain damage. Turns out I actually did take enough. I went unconscious in the ambulance and almost died, I had to be put on a ventilator and was not breathing for a while. I can attest that SN is physically painless although I entered a strange nightmare trip while I was unconscious. It was disorienting and felt like it lasted for years. It could've been the SN or it could've been the antidote or meds I was given but keep that in mind. The trip was quite distressing. I've heard some people say that SN doesn't give you permanent damage if you survive but that is apparently untrue. I was at high risk for liver, heart, and brain damage although I was lucky enough to avoid all of that. I wish that I hadn't gotten helo because in that case I definitely would've died. I bought my SN off what I believe is a fishing supplies store and got it shipped to Canada, so real SN is obtainable in Canada. It also didn't expire despite me having it for over a year before taking it.

Next time I'm going to try jumping. I really just want out now. Life is even worse after surviving and I've lost my few friends. My new plan is simple: once I have the opportunity I'll jump. All I need is a ten story height with concrete underneath me. If anyone has questions on what SN is like I'm open to answering.
I'm sorry about what happened to you
 
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wanttogetonthebus

wanttogetonthebus

chronically unlucky
Nov 27, 2021
405
Update: I got out of the hospital yesterday. Unfortunately I failed. After taking the SN I came to believe I didn't have enough to succeed and so I decided to go to the hospital to prevent brain damage. Turns out I actually did take enough. I went unconscious in the ambulance and almost died, I had to be put on a ventilator and was not breathing for a while. I can attest that SN is physically painless although I entered a strange nightmare trip while I was unconscious. It was disorienting and felt like it lasted for years. It could've been the SN or it could've been the antidote or meds I was given but keep that in mind. The trip was quite distressing. I've heard some people say that SN doesn't give you permanent damage if you survive but that is apparently untrue. I was at high risk for liver, heart, and brain damage although I was lucky enough to avoid all of that. I wish that I hadn't gotten helo because in that case I definitely would've died. I bought my SN off what I believe is a fishing supplies store and got it shipped to Canada, so real SN is obtainable in Canada. It also didn't expire despite me having it for over a year before taking it.

Next time I'm going to try jumping. I really just want out now. Life is even worse after surviving and I've lost my few friends. My new plan is simple: once I have the opportunity I'll jump. All I need is a ten story height with concrete underneath me. If anyone has questions on what SN is like I'm open to answering.
On no. The idea of a nightmare trip completely scares the crap out of me 😭I don't think I can go through with SN in that case. It'll have to be N. What nightmares did you see?
 
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S

supermario

Experienced
Oct 21, 2021
233
I'm really sorry what happened to you, that sounds absolutely terrifying. Given that SN almost worked, what's the reason you won't try it again, but maybe with better planning (ie: shut off your phone, do it somewhere more secluded, follow the guide better)?
 
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wanttogetonthebus

wanttogetonthebus

chronically unlucky
Nov 27, 2021
405
I'm really sorry what happened to you, that sounds absolutely terrifying. Given that SN almost worked, what's the reason you won't try it again, but maybe with better planning (ie: shut off your phone, do it somewhere more secluded, follow the guide better)?
Maybe the nightmare trip...🥺
 
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supermario

Experienced
Oct 21, 2021
233
Maybe the nightmare trip...🥺

True, but my logic if I had gone through that would be that 1) I know the method works 2) By covering my bases better the 2nd time around, I know I will successfully ctb and avoid the "trip" this time around.

I dunno, but jumping seems infinitely more scary than consuming anything.
 
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clown_17

clown_17

Almost gone, it almost worked
Oct 24, 2020
288
On no. The idea of a nightmare trip completely scares the crap out of me 😭I don't think I can go through with SN in that case. It'll have to be N. What nightmares did you see?
I saw nothing actually, I just felt a lot. I couldn't move but I kept forgetting where I was and who I was. I thought i was in a coma for years at one point. I'd forget everything and then suddenly remember "I'm in an ambulance!" Sometimes I'd feel younger than I am and go through "layers" of memory rebuilding my mind. Like I was living life as a young child and suddenly I was undergoing a trauma and and suddenly I was older after that trauma, doing something else when I realized I'm actually way older and just tried to kms. It was painful re-experiencing of my situation and feeling helpless. I could physically feel tubes in my mouth multiple times as the doctors intubated me. I also heard many voices that were real "hi I'm your doctor youre at x hospital" but they all sounded sped up and alien like. I heard lots and lots of laughing. At a point I was sure I had been there for a long time and would stay forever and it was agonizing to think of all the things I must've missed. I felt complete disconnection from myself and also a lot of shame. Sometimes I would fight to try to move, wake up, and hold onto my memories of who I was. Although it would come in waves, suddenly I'd feel myself slipping until I had forgotten everything again. It's unlike anything I've ever experienced. It's been a few weeks now though and I have recovered though so I woudlnt say it was -too- traumatizing. It's just that if anyone had the idea that death or sn poisoning was like being awake and then suddenly asleep forever, they are wrong. (Or at least in my case)
I'm really sorry what happened to you, that sounds absolutely terrifying. Given that SN almost worked, what's the reason you won't try it again, but maybe with better planning (ie: shut off your phone, do it somewhere more secluded, follow the guide better)?
I live with family and they "safety plan" the house. They check every parcel that arrives at the house to make sure it's nothing dangerous. I only was able to get away with the SN once because I lied to them saying it was for a different reason. I think now if a parcel of white powder showed up at our door it'd be trashed immediately.
 
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T

Ta555

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2021
1,317
I saw nothing actually, I just felt a lot. I couldn't move but I kept forgetting where I was and who I was. I thought i was in a coma for years at one point. I'd forget everything and then suddenly remember "I'm in an ambulance!" Sometimes I'd feel younger than I am and go through "layers" of memory rebuilding my mind. Like I was living life as a young child and suddenly I was undergoing a trauma and and suddenly I was older after that trauma, doing something else when I realized I'm actually way older and just tried to kms. It was painful re-experiencing of my situation and feeling helpless. I could physically feel tubes in my mouth multiple times as the doctors intubated me. I also heard many voices that were real "hi I'm your doctor youre at x hospital" but they all sounded sped up and alien like. I heard lots and lots of laughing. At a point I was sure I had been there for a long time and would stay forever and it was agonizing to think of all the things I must've missed. I felt complete disconnection from myself and also a lot of shame. Sometimes I would fight to try to move, wake up, and hold onto my memories of who I was. Although it would come in waves, suddenly I'd feel myself slipping until I had forgotten everything again. It's unlike anything I've ever experienced. It's been a few weeks now though and I have recovered though so I woudlnt say it was -too- traumatizing. It's just that if anyone had the idea that death or sn poisoning was like being awake and then suddenly asleep forever, they are wrong. (Or at least in my case)

I live with family and they "safety plan" the house. They check every parcel that arrives at the house to make sure it's nothing dangerous. I only was able to get away with the SN once because I lied to them saying it was for a different reason. I think now if a parcel of white powder showed up at our door it'd be trashed immediately.
Never saw a survivor report a trip before, good or bad. Interesting. I notice you took three different psych drugs that morning too...I wonder if that could have played a part in the trip? Glad you're doing better now.
 
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wanttogetonthebus

wanttogetonthebus

chronically unlucky
Nov 27, 2021
405
I saw nothing actually, I just felt a lot. I couldn't move but I kept forgetting where I was and who I was. I thought i was in a coma for years at one point. I'd forget everything and then suddenly remember "I'm in an ambulance!" Sometimes I'd feel younger than I am and go through "layers" of memory rebuilding my mind. Like I was living life as a young child and suddenly I was undergoing a trauma and and suddenly I was older after that trauma, doing something else when I realized I'm actually way older and just tried to kms. It was painful re-experiencing of my situation and feeling helpless. I could physically feel tubes in my mouth multiple times as the doctors intubated me. I also heard many voices that were real "hi I'm your doctor youre at x hospital" but they all sounded sped up and alien like. I heard lots and lots of laughing. At a point I was sure I had been there for a long time and would stay forever and it was agonizing to think of all the things I must've missed. I felt complete disconnection from myself and also a lot of shame. Sometimes I would fight to try to move, wake up, and hold onto my memories of who I was. Although it would come in waves, suddenly I'd feel myself slipping until I had forgotten everything again. It's unlike anything I've ever experienced. It's been a few weeks now though and I have recovered though so I woudlnt say it was -too- traumatizing. It's just that if anyone had the idea that death or sn poisoning was like being awake and then suddenly asleep forever, they are wrong. (Or at least in my case)

I live with family and they "safety plan" the house. They check every parcel that arrives at the house to make sure it's nothing dangerous. I only was able to get away with the SN once because I lied to them saying it was for a different reason. I think now if a parcel of white powder showed up at our door it'd be trashed immediately.
Thank you so much for sharing that with me in such incredible detail. It really helps give me insight to what I might expect to happen in my mind especially if I'm found or hospitalized. It must have taken a lot of courage to take the SN, but it also must have taken a lot of courage to survive through that experience. It sounds out of this world and I mean that in the sense of an otherworldly experience that no one else could really understand unless they go through it. I'm wishing you the best in peace and happiness wherever life takes you.
 
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blueclover_.

blueclover_.

Better Never to Have Been: 2006, David Benatar
Oct 11, 2021
668
Update: I got out of the hospital yesterday. Unfortunately I failed. After taking the SN I came to believe I didn't have enough to succeed and so I decided to go to the hospital to prevent brain damage. Turns out I actually did take enough. I went unconscious in the ambulance and almost died, I had to be put on a ventilator and was not breathing for a while. I can attest that SN is physically painless although I entered a strange nightmare trip while I was unconscious. It was disorienting and felt like it lasted for years. It could've been the SN or it could've been the antidote or meds I was given but keep that in mind. The trip was quite distressing. I've heard some people say that SN doesn't give you permanent damage if you survive but that is apparently untrue. I was at high risk for liver, heart, and brain damage although I was lucky enough to avoid all of that. I wish that I hadn't gotten helo because in that case I definitely would've died. I bought my SN off what I believe is a fishing supplies store and got it shipped to Canada, so real SN is obtainable in Canada. It also didn't expire despite me having it for over a year before taking it.

Next time I'm going to try jumping. I really just want out now. Life is even worse after surviving and I've lost my few friends. My new plan is simple: once I have the opportunity I'll jump. All I need is a ten story height with concrete underneath me. If anyone has questions on what SN is like I'm open to answering.
I'm sorry that life has brought you to this point. I hope you'll find the peace you are looking for.

SN doesn't react with the psychological parts of the brain, the nightmares were likely your anxiety going through the roof after your SI taking over; death is understandably the biggest fear to a mammal's brain.

While it's true that SN can give you brain dramage, the probability is very low since unless you are saved within the exact few minutes prior to cardiac arrest after brain death, SN is highly reversible and most SN survivors are still functioning normally to this day.
 
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T

Ta555

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2021
1,317
I'm sorry that life has brought you to this point. I hope you'll find the peace you are looking for.

SN doesn't react with the psychological parts of the brain, the nightmares were likely your anxiety going through the roof after your SI taking over; death is understandably the biggest fear to a mammal's brain.

While it's true that SN can give you brain dramage, the probability is very low since unless you are saved within the exact few minutes prior to cardiac arrest after brain death, SN is highly reversible and most SN survivors are still functioning normally to this day.
Yes I also note OP reports taking three different psych drugs the same day and I can't help but think this had some part (major or minor I don't know) to play in their experience. But I'm not a doctor so I don't really know.
 
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I

Imustbefree

Member
Feb 29, 2020
38
I am sorry you went through this, @clown_17. Can I ask you a couple questions about your SN experience?

You said you experienced rapid heartbeat but that it wasnt painful for you. Was the fast heartbeat not even uncomfortable? I ask bc most here have said the fast heartbeat isnt painful but some have said although not painful it was a uncomfortable and others have said not painful nor uncomfortable.

You also said that after you ingested SN you waited about 10 minutes and then called the ambulance and then went unconscious some time after that. How much time passed between the call and when you went unconscious?
 
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