Venting suuuuure

[Lavínia]

Someone from school got back to me. I was excited. It was just to use me in a project. I had predicted that he wanted to form a group with everyone from the past, and I was guessing at the worst possible chance. And it wasn't, he was going to use me. I'm surprised he wasn't. I don't know if I use people too. I go there, I try to get into their lives as deeply as possible. Digging, corroding, studying them. And when I get close to something, I get scared, and I abandon them. Caleb, Marcel, John, June, Arthur, Lucas, Gabriel, Bernard, Nick, Nicolas, Vitor, Eduarda, Adriel, Rebecca, Iza, Daiane, Camila and Fa... It made sense, the right choice since I'm going to die, but was that why I did it? I like that I think, the taste of conclusion, an end that I chose. How disappointing. And I'm not firm about it, I talked again, like with that friend, instead of closing myself off completely, I open up. I start, and I end at the beginning. Nothing cohesive. There's nothing to look forward to. You guys should really fire me, throw me against the wall, yell at me, do something. Don't act like I'm okay, or have anything good to offer.

I hate my cat, she's so lonely and have only me. I laughed when you cried, when many of them cried. I could be stronger. knowing that you liked me gave me courage. it made me understand how the person I loved felt, with a tick that had nothing to offer. I hate my dog. I don't love my mother, I should, but I don't even trying. Don't love my sister. I loved one person, I parasitized him, and abandoned him. Or he abandoned me, it was mutual that our lives did not talk. I wish I could be forgotten, don't keep going while I miss.