A few weeks of calm and almost peace, then WHAM, back in the Pit. Certain triggers... received a toy catalog in the mail, which reminded me I need to start shopping for my two little grandsons' upcoming birthdays and Christmas so I was looking through the catalog and I can't remember how old they are and have no idea what they like or do for fun since I have not seen them for years and if my daughter would just call me, oh please call me or text or a letter or something and wracking my brain for what did I do to deserve this?? Why??
The guns are loaded and right there. All legal docs are in place. All is ready. Just get out of the chair, post the note on the door to call 911 and don't come in, put down lots of dog food and water, walk into the other room, pick up the pistol, go into the bathroom, lay in the tub, close the shower curtain, place pistol in position, and pull the trigger. Done. It wouldn't take three minutes.
No! No no no!!! You will feel better. Remember yesterday? When you laughed at someone's joke posted here? Remember how good it felt to get that deadbolt successfully installed on the door the day before? Remember how fun it is to play fetch with this ball of fur next to you?
If you can get out of the chair to kill yourself, you can get up to install the next deadbolt. Just stand up. Ok. Now walk to the tools, gather them up. Good. Now start measuring... one step at a time. I can do just this one thing.
And two hours later, It was done. Only one more to install tomorrow.
Now, if you can do that, you can put the leash on the dog. "Walk?" See how he wiggles at that! Now open the door. Two steps out. I can do this.
And one thing at a time and finally the day is over and today, it is better. The gun is still there, and I am still here.
The guns are loaded and right there. All legal docs are in place. All is ready. Just get out of the chair, post the note on the door to call 911 and don't come in, put down lots of dog food and water, walk into the other room, pick up the pistol, go into the bathroom, lay in the tub, close the shower curtain, place pistol in position, and pull the trigger. Done. It wouldn't take three minutes.
No! No no no!!! You will feel better. Remember yesterday? When you laughed at someone's joke posted here? Remember how good it felt to get that deadbolt successfully installed on the door the day before? Remember how fun it is to play fetch with this ball of fur next to you?
If you can get out of the chair to kill yourself, you can get up to install the next deadbolt. Just stand up. Ok. Now walk to the tools, gather them up. Good. Now start measuring... one step at a time. I can do just this one thing.
And two hours later, It was done. Only one more to install tomorrow.
Now, if you can do that, you can put the leash on the dog. "Walk?" See how he wiggles at that! Now open the door. Two steps out. I can do this.
And one thing at a time and finally the day is over and today, it is better. The gun is still there, and I am still here.
