practiced partial feeling odd

[Bunnybrains]

hello! ty for reading... just wanted to kinda give an update? plus i need somewhere to process this.

done a ton more reading and sorta slowly lost my damn mind? ended up practicing some today- i have a glass shower with a metal rod that holds my doors and i can do pull ups on it. got my anchor knot, a snuggle hitch held my weight just fine. stepped down off the edge of my bathtub and could just barely stand on my tip toes. so- i stayed there, kinda easing down and getting a feel for it. i guess i was okay with the thought i might die so it didnt bother me too bad. but and gonna be honest i genuinely dont remember standing up after? ans like- kinda stepping backwards back onto my bathtub ledge. anywho as soon as that pressure was off immediately kinda "came back to" a little and panicked, called my partner and proceeded to sob on call for hours :( not fun.

the rope i was using was very not planned and was super super coarse so the simple noose didnt want to hold together? it didnt seem to matter. i ended up throwing away the rope and talked alot about how much i wanted to die to my partner and how much i've been thinking about it- but idk if they put 2 and 2 together that i actually attempted? it really scared me but it made me feel super happy that if i'd just buy some rope for the purpose and tied it shorter so it was full suspension and not partial i'd be dead- and it really really wasnt that hard once i got desperate.

now- i just gotta decide if i catually wanna die. i will admit even though i obsessed about dying 24/7 for literal days SI was so much stronger then i expected. anywho ty for readingggggg

 

[rozeske]

If the rope was very stiff, the knot may have let go and lowered you down and that could be the reason you came back to. Am sorry, failed attempts show some people how much they want to live but usually they tend to make you feel a lot worse. I wish you all the best for your next plans.
Did you stay long before losing consciousness? Was it painful on your neck or pressure on your head?

 

[Bunnybrains]

If the rope was very stiff, the knot may have let go and lowered you down and that could be the reason you came back to. Am sorry, failed attempts show some people how much they want to live but usually they tend to make you feel a lot worse. I wish you all the best for your next plans.
Did you stay long before losing consciousness? Was it painful on your neck or pressure on your head?

it made me feel worse short term but it helped to think it could be nearly effortless if i just had the right stuff. anywho i've spent hours obsessintg over how just a few more seconds and i could have been gone- i know i'l succeed next time. the pressure was uncomfortable but by the time my whole body was feeling fuzzy it was just- idk i wasnt counting but maybe 10/20 seconds? not long at all and no pain. ty for responding ^^ i honestly considered this not a real attempt just more of a practice run where i would have been very happy if i'd died

 

[rozeske]

You've lucked out as many here are claiming to have failed to pass out. I wish you all the best in your next plan. You mentioned you were ready even if you succeed but If you plan on another practice run and don't want to be gone, make sure to set it up in a way the rope will let go when you are unconscious.

 

[Bunnybrains]

define "passed out-" i've def failed in the past to get this close but it seemed fairly straightforward?

i know ur working on a similar set up so if u ever need tips on tweeking it feel free to dm me- i hope u have a good day! i'll be sure to be careful with tests if im not aiming to die

 

[rozeske]

define "passed out-" i've def failed in the past to get this close but it seemed fairly straightforward?

Sorry, by pass out I mean being unconscious. It seems pretty straightforward to me too. But most people that tried it just couldn't fall unconscious and just keep repeatedly getting the exploding head feeling only. Am guessing many are being tense and not relaxing their bodies enough to let go...but I don't know. I guess i will see if I can succeed in implementing all my theories on my next attempt