Suicide talk banned in chronic illness/disability groups

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Sorry I have already made another thread today, but I just noticed something and wondered if you lot had observed this phenomena as well.

In all of the chronic fatigue syndrome groups online, including but not limited to FB, reddit, phoenix rising, all that jazz, most suicide discussion is banned. Some of the larger groups have explicit rules saying absolutely no talk of suicidality, while others remove any threads that mention it.

The only time I saw a thread that revolved around the topic of ctb not get removed on one of these CFS forums, it was an elderly person with the condition discussing how they were going to Dignitas.

Have you all noticed this phenomena as well? Pro-lifers often say that this forum is not a good outlet to talk about thoughts of ctb and we should reach out to other communities, but from what I have seen with my own two eyes, every chronic illness or disability group will remove your posts and ban you if you are chronically suicidal or think your wish to die is not delusional and absurd.

People with CFS have some of the lowest quality of life scores out of any illness yet the admins of these groups are going to censor and limit people from speaking out about the full extent to which the illness has ruined their life and made them want to die? Cmon.

 

[Chronicillness]

I'm in all of the me/cfs groups online. Reddit, FB groups, PR, etc. and I haven't noticed much of any suicide talk. I think this is because posts of this nature get taken down or don't get past the approval process. I'm certain if it was a free-for-all, there would be a suicide thread everyday, and it would probably gain a lot of traction and subtract from the other aspects of the forum's purpose, e.g. support, biomedical discussion, surgeries, doctor's visits, etc.

I have cranio-cervical instability, cranial instability, TMD, stenosis, autoimmunity, severe brain damage, iatrogenesis, and many more. The base of my skull and my c-spine crack and crepitate in numerous areas even as I type this. So naturally, I frequent every CFS/ME group there is, and the only ones that are of quality, tbh, are the ones that moderate anything that isn't related to treatments, therapies or solutions to getting better. However only 2-3 of these types of groups exist, and only FB groups from my knowledge. Reddit /r/CFS is garbage, the worst of the lot and phoenix rising is a bit too inactive.

I do agree though that the forums that are just simply for support and inclusive of all topics related to ME/CFS should indeed allow rational suicide discussion, because lol, this is one of the most inhumane ways of living. 24/7 unrelenting torture. Censoring suicide discussion is just further perpetuating the chains that bind us to this sensory landscape of unimaginable terror and suffering. Which sucks because without discussion of suicidality, we can't adequately illustrate the extreme suffering that we endure every second of the day, sometimes for decades.

 

[woknows]

People suck and want to impose their values on everyone else. It same everywhere. It is easy telling someone to suck it up while you have no real problems of your own.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I'm in all of the me/cfs groups online. Reddit, FB groups, PR, etc. and I haven't noticed much of any suicide talk. I think this is because posts of this nature get taken down or don't get past the approval process. I'm certain if it was a free-for-all, there would be a suicide thread everyday, and it would probably gain a lot of traction and subtract from the other aspects of the forum's purpose, e.g. support, biomedical discussion, surgeries, doctor's visits, etc.

I have cranio-cervical instability, cranial instability, TMD, stenosis, autoimmunity, severe brain damage, iatrogenesis, and many more. The base of my skull and my c-spine crack and crepitate in numerous areas even as I type this. So naturally, I frequent every CFS/ME group there is, and the only ones that are of quality, tbh, are the ones that moderate anything that isn't related to treatments, therapies or solutions to getting better. However only 2-3 of these types of groups exist, and only FB groups from my knowledge. Reddit /r/CFS is garbage, the worst of the lot and phoenix rising is a bit too inactive.

I do agree though that the forums that are just simply for support and inclusive of all topics related to ME/CFS should indeed allow rational suicide discussion, because lol, this is one of the most inhumane ways of living. 24/7 unrelenting torture. Censoring suicide discussion is just further perpetuating the chains that bind us to this sensory landscape of unimaginable terror and suffering. Which sucks because without discussion of suicidality, we can't adequately illustrate the extreme suffering that we endure every second of the day, sometimes for decades.

You're right, it makes no sense. A lot of the time especially in the subreddit people refuse to admit futility, if you tell them doctors hurt you and made you worse off and you've tried every sort of treatment out there that isn't obscure vitamin supplementation, they tell you to keep having hope and keep trying because long covid may bring answers soon. How does that help if there is nothing more to try?

Once you know there is no hope, it feels like a charade to be around others who try to force you to conform to their beliefs about the illness. Some people are convinced they will find a magic cure one day, which is great for them if that's what keeps them going, but I have to be realistic.

Wish they endorsed the peaceful pill handbook for those of us who won't get better. I'm sorry to hear that you are suffering so much. Iatrogenic harm coupled with many chronic illnesses is no stranger to me, and it is pure hell.

 

[LastFlowers]

It's not just the chronic illness groups, it's basically banned in any support group on any subject. If not outright in the rules, then in practice.
I've been a part of other groups for certain physical issues and I have to choose my wording very carefully as not to alert the sappy snipers-ready to shoot me down with toxic positivity.
Sometimes even practical honesty is not appreciated. For instance, I have acknowledged the negative feelings and unfortunate permanence of some people's situations, even offering them comparable anecdotes of my own, only for them to turn around and throw it back in my face, acting as if I insulted them by simply agreeing with their thoughts on their own personal hell. (And their minions crawl out of the woodwork to do the same).
It's very easy to become the bad guy.
I don't have time to sort out who is compliment fishing and who is genuinely searching for a connection with a kindred sufferer or simple understanding of their pain. It's also difficult for me to post in those groups, as an atmosphere against "negativity" usually breeds dismissive responses. And the only thing worse than being trapped in torturous circumstances, is having those circumstances dismissed or minimized.

*Also, keep in mind, for your case specifically, chronic illnesses are unfortunately very appealing to malingerers and those with some form of Munchausens. Because some of these illnesses are 'invisible' and quite easy to fake, it's not that hard for these wolves to protect themselves in sheep's clothing and join the herd of genuine sufferers. And ofcourse, these people don't want to kill themselves or end their pain, because they're faking it, they only join the groups for attention and info to further authenticate their display of whatever endless list of chronic illnesses they self-diagnose themselves with. So this phenomenon could also be interfering with certain support group's overall ability to reach the otherwise obvious conclusion that suicide is most definitely an option.
I'm sure you are already aware of this issue in some respect, as I know even those who truly endure these illnesses, are often accused of being one of the-increasingly common-fabricators. They sully the waters for those in real pain, such as yourself. This, added with an already abundantly pro-life society, is a recipe for disaster.

 

[Catchingdabus27]

Yeahhh in a lot of groups where suicidality or other "negative" experiences that RELATE to your health or illness, I feel like there a lot of disconnect around what it really feels like to live day by day. Disconnect on how severe the mental effects are regarless of how "resilient" one is... also

As someone that has just recently started to reclaim the fact that I am chronically ill im so confused at the lack of understanding of how physical health effects mental...

I feel like I've had to do the opposite almost? Like I had to identify that some of the physical is causing the mental and etc... which is si invalidating bc people I've worked with will try sooo hard to make it all about the mental like???

I just wanna live my truth in how these things effect me. I wanna be able to say I can't do something without it being seen as an excuse.
Just because I seem able-bodied on the outside... or i guess have enough mobility for others to dismiss my struggles I dunno...

I try not to think its bc I don't matter. I know i don't matter to really anyone but that was my life choice last yr to get away from toxic... my family never rsally acknowledged my health struggles anyway. So, its been a lifetime of denial.

Reclaiming my time/right to be ill

So many subreddits are extremely limiting in that degree.. likw you can only be "so" hurt.. like theres a limit on the despair.. i can't

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Many suicidal people feel as if they cannot talk about what they are going through already, so banning the talk of it in more groups will only work to push those with suicidal thoughts further away.

And they wonder why nobody "gets help".

 

[zevon]

You're right, it makes no sense. A lot of the time especially in the subreddit people refuse to admit futility, if you tell them doctors hurt you and made you worse off and you've tried every sort of treatment out there that isn't obscure vitamin supplementation, they tell you to keep having hope and keep trying because long covid may bring answers soon. How does that help if there is nothing more to try?

Once you know there is no hope, it feels like a charade to be around others who try to force you to conform to their beliefs about the illness. Some people are convinced they will find a magic cure one day, which is great for them if that's what keeps them going, but I have to be realistic.

Wish they endorsed the peaceful pill handbook for those of us who won't get better. I'm sorry to hear that you are suffering so much. Iatrogenic harm coupled with many chronic illnesses is no stranger to me, and it is pure hell.

You're probably familiar with an often comorbid set of mast cell diseases, swallowing disorders, gastroparesis and overall gastrointestinal dysmotility which could prevent many folks from pursuing much of the vitamin supplementation, etc. that is recommended. I react to pretty much everything and have "the worst" gastroparesis my doctors have ever seen. There are dyes, fillers and excipients that don't get labeled on bottles and formulas constantly change in the name of the holy "bottom line."

I don't really post anywhere but here anymore because the censorship is depressing. Posting anything along the lines of feeling, *being*, hopeless will net the poster little more than not replies to worthless suicide hotlines.

We need places to express the truth of our realities as chronically I'll people who are out of options. Many aren't. Many will never progress to the point where pulling the plug feels like the best option. They can maintain job, have support systems, social lives, blah blah blah.

When you have a lifetime of chronic illness you eventually get left behind and abandoned by everyone so isn't it ironic, almost laughable, at their gasping and pearl clutching? lol

I watched the movie Bliss on scamazon prime last night and I'm just like....give me those blue crystals NOW please!!!

- fellow ME/CFSer, CCI, EDS, POTS, brain damaged, can't remember all my diagnoses but it's a list of over 30 things no one would ever wish to have on their own but to have them all together...my siblings are so lucky that I'm the one who inherited all of the garbage DNA.

Sorry if I hijacked your post with my reply. This was meant to come across as friendly commiserating.

I've had two NDEs and just want to go "home" now. Maybe if I click my heels harder....

 

[Life interrupted]

Sorry I have already made another thread today, but I just noticed something and wondered if you lot had observed this phenomena as well.

In all of the chronic fatigue syndrome groups online, including but not limited to FB, reddit, phoenix rising, all that jazz, most suicide discussion is banned. Some of the larger groups have explicit rules saying absolutely no talk of suicidality, while others remove any threads that mention it.

The only time I saw a thread that revolved around the topic of ctb not get removed on one of these CFS forums, it was an elderly person with the condition discussing how they were going to Dignitas.

Have you all noticed this phenomena as well? Pro-lifers often say that this forum is not a good outlet to talk about thoughts of ctb and we should reach out to other communities, but from what I have seen with my own two eyes, every chronic illness or disability group will remove your posts and ban you if you are chronically suicidal or think your wish to die is not delusional and absurd.

People with CFS have some of the lowest quality of life scores out of any illness yet the admins of these groups are going to censor and limit people from speaking out about the full extent to which the illness has ruined their life and made them want to die? Cmon.

Such admins are disgusting. I have long covid and I can post about my suicidal thoughts in one of the lc fb groups because the admin is a nice guy who has been suffering for 2 years. However most lc groups ban such posts.