uncat_

uncat_

aspiring corpse
Nov 3, 2023
133
i made a website blog thing [[ https://saturnsprout.blogspot.com/ ]] i shared it with my partner and best friend, and im not sure if i regret it or not..

the other day me and my partner actually talked about some of the stuff i posted on there, about getting high with him as a way of hurting myself. and about my suicidality lately

i feel like communicating these kinds of feelings with him makes him worse. he was really distraught, i started crying too. we were talking in his car.

i just feel so guilty. im happy we got to talk, but fuck. i dont know what i should and shouldnt share with him, now. i love him so much, and i want a future with him. im happy i can communicate with him. i just sometimes wish i didnt.

i dont even know if i want to die anymore, but i know that i would be fine having never existed in the first place.

i regret letting him love me, but im happy i have his love. i dont know.
 
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