Suicide is such a brutal and scary way to freedom from pain .. You're not alone

[Ineedtodie]

My life situation is hell and degrading, I feel trappeded and my ways of coping wont lead me anywhere, alieneted and there is little to no hope for my situation to improve. So depression is full blown as well as my anxiety.The worst already happened, people treatng me like subhuman including my family, 32, unemployed, feel no joy in anything, no friends Literally no place to go to. My lights always turned off. Feels safer this way from harrassement, people constantly talking badly about me . I have just one job prospect which going to take months and months to be even be an option to persue. My Anxiety is usually sky high, luckly I managed to get anxiety pills and sleeping pills, making me numb an mellow, of which I' m abusing. Also some vitamine so I dont feel physically like shiit all the time. Spend most of my day sleeping disconnected from my surrounding. Hoping for nothing and without purpose. I was planning to kill mysel self in my room since the past nonth, made a very reliable full hanging setup and close the door with a key which thought only me have it, turns out my mother owns one too. Took it and hid it with mine, no idea if she already saw my setup. Anyhow she isn't saying nothin so whaterver. The point is I attampted ctb but panic took over each time because naturally our body is wired to to keep us alive in any way possible. So anyone who's life is so miserable and keep aborting ctb, I say you're not alone.

 

[counting-out-time]

I feel your pain I'm in the same situation as you. I hate leaving the house I always leave lights off. I just hide away and when ever the phone rings my anxiety goes from 1-999999999 really quick.

Me too have a lock on my door and a tv bracket (no tv) to use as a anchor point but every time I set it up and put the rope around my neck I freak out and then just go back to lying on my bed and stare up at the sky. I really hope I CBT before Christmas as if not then I'm just going to get worse and go on a hunger strike and abuse my body with shit loads of alcohol and might give me a push to ctb

 

[FuneralCry]

It's like the survival instinct is determined to keep us here trapped in this world and prolong our suffering. The truth is that suicide certainly can be difficult to go through with even if we wish to die, methods like hanging sound so much easier than they actually are when you hear of all these people succeeding with it. I do get that it can be so dreadful having to endure a situation of endless torment with no real relief from you experience. It really is such a cruel existence which brings people to such a point where they suffer so extremely and the existence of life really is so horrific, so I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Me too have a lock on my door and a tv bracket (no tv) to use as a anchor point

Not my intent to discourage you, but I'd be weary of using the tv bracket as an anchor point. I don't think it's strong enough. It's only as good as the screws and the substrate in which it's mounted. It's only engineered to hold a relatively light tv, not the weight of a human body. Obviously, I don't know what you have so I'm just spouting off.

 

[counting-out-time]

Aha well me being a bit of a diy guy when I fitted it, it came with poxy rubbish bolts that could be spread on toast. I've used some big ass industrial strength bolts with decent wall plugs. I was always paranoid about my tv falling off the wall when I was asleep so took the extra measure. I've tried hanging off it and everything and doesn't move. It's even one of those swing arm types but it can take my weight tested. I think the biggest problem is tv brackets screwed to plasterboard, yes it will hold a tv up with the right plugs but I've got brick so got my hanging point all good to go

 

[abandonedSheep]

The worst already happened, people treatng me like subhuman including my family, 32, unemployed, feel no joy in anything, no friends Literally no place to go to.

this stood out to me, because i can relate to it. it hurts when i open up about my distressed feelings, and then people freak out and blame me. i have come to feel like it's a mistake to open up. i've lost my friends that i used to have, because of this.

so when you say that people treat you subhuman, i can relate. it makes me think about how isolation can make us disconnected from feeling joy. it's so strange to know that other people feel joy in the world, but to have so little ability to access it, ourselves.

 

[PJS1995]

I only tried to ctb once when I tried partial hanging but it hurt pretty bad. It felt like my eyes were going to pop out. That was 8 years ago. I just bought some 10mm nylon rope for full hanging. I feel like absolute shit, but I still feel like I won't have it in me to do it, because like you said the SI instinct is so strong. I'm just done with life and I wish I had the strength to successfully end it.

 

[Meaninglessness]

I am sorry for your pain. It´s terrible that people have to suffer for so long before we die. Our pets are treated better than humans. We have the misfortune to live in a world with laws that don´t allow human euthanasia and most people are in denial of death. But the development is moving towards that euthanasia will be permitted. I only wonder if there will be a nuclear war and a sixth mass extinction before the politicians will change the law about human euthanasia.

 

[Ineedtodie]

Not my intent to discourage you, but I'd be weary of using the tv bracket as an anchor point. I don't think it's strong enough. It's only as good as the screws and the substrate in which it's mounted. It's only engineered to hold a relatively light tv, not the weight of a human body. Obviously, I don't know what you have so I'm just spouting off.

Tv bracket are made of metal. Its the screws used to attach it to the wall that counts. Thick/wide screws will do the job. Otherwise it wont hold. Anyhow you can test it by hanging with hands.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Tv bracket are made of metal. Its the screws used to attach it to the wall that counts. Thick/wide screws will do the job. Otherwise it wont hold. Anyhow you can test it by hanging with hands.

I think that's pretty much what I said (only as good as the screws and substrate to which it's attached). The thing about this type of setup with a TV mount on a wall is that the screws are in shear, which usually isn't the strongest mode for them, especially with the weight of a person hanging on them. You couple that with the threads of the screws doing their holding in wood (best case), or in some type of wall anchor, and it's far from the most reliable anchor point. That situation is creating a moment. We're back to the TV mount was only engineered to hold a forty pound, or so, TV up on a wall. But, hey, if you like it, that's all that counts. The worst that could happen, I suppose, is the mount let's loose and you fall on the floor and need to go to a plan B or something. IMO, a mount like this would be better for partial as opposed to full hanging.

 

[Ineedtodie]

I think that's pretty much what I said (only as good as the screws and substrate to which it's attached). The thing about this type of setup with a TV mount on a wall is that the screws are in shear, which usually isn't the strongest mode for them, especially with the weight of a person hanging on them. You couple that with the threads of the screws doing their holding in wood (best case), or in some type of wall anchor, and it's far from the most reliable anchor point. That situation is creating a moment. We're back to the TV mount was only engineered to hold a forty pound, or so, TV up on a wall. But, hey, if you like it, that's all that counts. The worst that could happen, I suppose, is the mount let's loose and you fall on the floor and need to go to a plan B or something. IMO, a mount like this would be better for partial as opposed to full hanging.

This setup is 100 % solid and is made from a piece of tv bracket. I test it.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

This setup is 100 % solid and is made from a piece of tv bracket. I test it.

I believe you. If you're comfortable with it, that's really all that matters. Truly, I'm good with whatever you are.

To be honest, and it's just my opinion, those few screws don't look like enough for me, seeing that the only thing holding that bracket up there is the small amount of surface area of the threads that have carved out corresponding interlocking surface area in the wood. Maybe I'm an over-doer. I truly hope if you go this route, and it's what you want, everything works out for you as you planned. I'm sure it more than likely will. And like I said, even if it did happen to come loose, it will just result in a re-do of some sort. I wish you the best in your efforts.