
WorthlessTrash
Worthless
- Apr 19, 2022
- 2,430
I've always hated hearing/reading this. How do they know that my problem is a temporary one? I suffer from extreme dysphoria and having been born the sex that I hate to be, and will be that way until the day I die. How is THAT a temporary problem? People like to say life is too short, but the average life expectancy of a human is 60 years at least. That is NOT short. That is at least 21,900 days that I will have lived in this gross, disgusting body, unless I do something about it.
Then there are those that tell me that transitioning would fix things. It won't for me, because
1. I'd have a gross ass scar on my crotch from the surgery
2. I would have missed out on my childhood and adolescence as the correct sex. Something that a forced puberty known as transitioning won't fix
3. Testosterone has riddled my body and even with the gender reaffirming therapies, I would not look the way I want to.
4. I will still harbor jealousy towards attractive cis women
5. It will have been a long 5+ year process that I am not willing to power through. I can barely power through 1 day, let alone 1800+ days.
For some people, transitioning is the better option that CTBing, but for me, that is not the case. I applaud those that are able to be satisfied by transitioning and wish them the happiness they seek. However, I do not believe it will satisfy me, and I am not willing to wait 5 years just to find out something I am already sure of.
The truth is, I don't want CTBing to be my option. In an ideal world, I would have been born the correct sex. However, we do not live in an ideal world, and I do not want to be apart of a world where I was not born the way I want to have been.
I feel my journey in life is coming to an end real soon, so I will spend the next few weeks or months penning my thoughts and feelings on this site. I am at peace with my decision to CTB soon.
Then there are those that tell me that transitioning would fix things. It won't for me, because
1. I'd have a gross ass scar on my crotch from the surgery
2. I would have missed out on my childhood and adolescence as the correct sex. Something that a forced puberty known as transitioning won't fix
3. Testosterone has riddled my body and even with the gender reaffirming therapies, I would not look the way I want to.
4. I will still harbor jealousy towards attractive cis women
5. It will have been a long 5+ year process that I am not willing to power through. I can barely power through 1 day, let alone 1800+ days.
For some people, transitioning is the better option that CTBing, but for me, that is not the case. I applaud those that are able to be satisfied by transitioning and wish them the happiness they seek. However, I do not believe it will satisfy me, and I am not willing to wait 5 years just to find out something I am already sure of.
The truth is, I don't want CTBing to be my option. In an ideal world, I would have been born the correct sex. However, we do not live in an ideal world, and I do not want to be apart of a world where I was not born the way I want to have been.
I feel my journey in life is coming to an end real soon, so I will spend the next few weeks or months penning my thoughts and feelings on this site. I am at peace with my decision to CTB soon.