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Rae82

Student
Jun 4, 2021
119
New to forum and not a place I thought I'd be tbh. About 10 months ago I began to experience health problems including trouble breathing through my nose, palpitations and dizziness. Breathing got worse and worse and I had a lot of different tests but all came back fine. A CT scan showed that I had some structural problems with my nose but the NHS dismissed it and offered me a nasal spray. I paid privately for surgery but it's failed and I can't breathe. It's leaving me in constant fight or flight mode, shaking with anxiety from it. I have to take pills to cope and to sleep at night.
I don't want to die. I have a beautiful girl who is the most amazing thing in my life but my suffering is so immense and nobody can help me. I feel like the only way is to take my own life. I'm too much of a wimp to do it though as I worry that I'll fail. I also hate that it will more than likely mess my little girl up for life.
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
Welcome to SS!!!
Most of us will do nothing but try to help you!

I'm really sorry you're considering ctb in spite of not wanting to die.

Life can be just...so unfair!

I wish I could help you somehow...

Feel free to pm me if you need to talk.

Hugs,

Matt
 
R

Rae82

Student
Jun 4, 2021
119
Welcome to SS!!!
Most of us will do nothing but try to help you!

I'm really sorry you're considering ctb in spite of not wanting to die.

Life can be just...so unfair!

I wish I could help you somehow...

Feel free to pm me if you need to talk.

Hugs,

Matt
Thanks Matt. Life is so unfair. I was going to be that great mum who got involved with the school and cheered on from the side when my girl was playing netball but I just don't see that in the future anymore and I'm devastated about it. I don't want to die but I don't want to live like this.
 
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Reactions: A_miStake_of_NATURE and WornOutLife
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,742
This life really can be cruel. Our own bodies can torture us and we can have little control over it. I have been experiencing various health problems and I know how hard it is. The thing that gets me is that suicides can easily fail and be left with even more problems, it is what holds me back.
 
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Rae82

Student
Jun 4, 2021
119
Yes I'm scared about that too. I wish I just lived near a cliff I could jump off tbh.
 
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Efilismislife

Efilismislife

Psychopath family tortured me
May 25, 2021
642
You sound like you have chronic hidden infection also imbalance in your gastrointestinal. All causing inflammation.
i also had that but i figure it out
 
All Things Must Pass

All Things Must Pass

Mage
Apr 14, 2021
557
Scalp to toe, it's astounding how many ways our meat prisons have to buttfuck us out of nowhere.
 
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aminend

aminend

Warlock
May 24, 2020
746
Same here, covid caused smell and tast problem for me for more than 15months, and thats my main reason for ctb
 
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Reactions: Rae82 and hʚll

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