“Suicide doesn’t end the pain, it just passes it to someone else.”

[Lupgevif]

"You live for the sake of everyone else, you don't own your life."

 

[woxihuanni]

I heard this from a loser who fucked up their life and would be better off dead. I was kind enough not to say, if I were you, I would have killed myself about thirty years ago. Oh and, nobody would grieve your death because you are too selfish a cunt to have ever bonded with anyonr in this life.

 

[Lucifer'sRight]

I think it's a load of bullshit just like any other clicheé. It's an inspirational quote for people who are stranges to philosophy.

 

[greyhound]

One of my relatives told me something like this during a family reunion a few years ago out of the blue. It was a bit surprising because they are a fairly distant relative and at that point I wasn't even really suicidal. They said something about the trauma of suicide haunting your siblings for decades or something.

I sort of think now that they were somehow pre cognitively predicting my suicide in a few years (I believe we're in a reality where this sort of thing can happen).

 

[willitpass]

it frustrates me, i know that it's true, but they offer no solution to my pain. everything they would try to offer i have already tried and it didn't help. so what the fuck am i supposed to do then? why do i have to live in this excruciating pain for 60 more years just so i don't hurt other people? i don't have the energy to keep living for other people anymore so making me feel guilty will not help

 

[CrazyMary]

In my case I think my mother would die in less years than me so her pain would last less than mine. Also if she is suffering so much she can take the same way I am taking.

 

[Kat!]

I mean it definitely will burden a certain amount of pain on someone else, but, I'm past caring at this point. I understand some people think differently though, and good for you.

 

[Craig31ldn]

The problem is it's not just pain of other people. No one knows exactly how you'll fell after death and whether you'll still suffer after that or have knowledge on what's happened.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I don't really care. I am not gonna be around after my death and empathy isn't powerful enough to make me put other people's possible sadness first when I'm being eroded away by stress every day over the course of years.

More literally the quote is some bs. Suicide does remove my pain and it may also make some other people sad. Those are two things which aren't really related to each other directly as far as I'm concerned.

 

[SanJunipero1]

It's both a true and false statement, it does end the pain for the person who dies by suicide and it also leaves anyone who was loved by that person reeling from their loss.
I disagree with it being bandied about to guilt trip people out of killing themselves but it doesn't make it any less true that if you are cared for, your death will be devastating to your loved ones.
I'm here because my fiancé took his own life last year, before feeling suicidal myself I was so bewildered by his suicide but since experiencing that pain for myself, as devastated as I am without him, I'm glad he's no longer in pain. I have friends and family who care deeply about me and knowing that, seeing the ravished a suicide causes, I still tried to take my own life in May (and still think about it constantly even though I reluctantly think my survival instinct is too strong to overcome).
I simply believe that no one's grief is more important than another person's pain.

 

[Despondent]

I don't like it either. I think it's used to underestimate the pain that someone feels which leads them to ctb. The pain that the two people experiences are different.

Plus, it most certainly does end the pain. It would end my pain. It wouldn't pass how I'm feeling onto someone who "cares." They'd be feeling their own hurt, but to a degree I really don't think the two should be compared.

 

[NightmareTour]

This quote annoys me a lot. Yes, dying does cause suffering to other people. But we're all going to die anyway, and aside from those who purposefully end their lives themselves, nobody knows when it's going to happen. It's kind of like saying that getting hit by a car or finally dying of a terminal illness is selfish. Serious mental illness and suffering without the right treatment (which usually isn't available), can be just as fatal just as a serious physical illness or wound can. The fact that the method of death is different isn't relevant. The amount of suffering a human being can survive is limited, just like someone can die of shock from extreme physical pain.

Personally, yeah, I feel bad about causing people problems by dying. I plan to do it in a way that is as easy for everyone as possible. But it's no worse than if I went out and got hit by a car. In fact, it's probably easier, because I'm able to plan, and because everyone has seen me struggling for a long time now, and they can probably see it coming. I know that being around and needing people to look after me is causing a lot of stress, so there will definitely be a weight off of everyone's shoulders.

 

[ronigail9]

Since suicide is a personal autonomous decision regarding what to do with one's own life, it is also an option for others. if they don't like the pain they're in after someone else's suicide they are free to eliminate their pain as well. Better yet, everyone can themselves and we don't have a world because everyone is dead

 

[dropdeadfred]

... the flip side of that statement is that it insinuates that you have to be the one to continue to suffer.

Bingo.

 

[muffin222]

It's aggravating. Yes, my death would invariably inflict tremendous amounts of grief, pain, and sorrow to my loved ones. But, it won't be my pain they experience. Me killing myself isn't going to give other people autism or CPTSD. It doesn't work that way

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

I agree with the statement, but in the end its your body and your choice, unless you have children, I think you should be responsible and raise them before making such a life impacting decision.

It's both a true and false statement, it does end the pain for the person who dies by suicide and it also leaves anyone who was loved by that person reeling from their loss.
I disagree with it being bandied about to guilt trip people out of killing themselves but it doesn't make it any less true that if you are cared for, your death will be devastating to your loved ones.
I'm here because my fiancé took his own life last year, before feeling suicidal myself I was so bewildered by his suicide but since experiencing that pain for myself, as devastated as I am without him, I'm glad he's no longer in pain. I have friends and family who care deeply about me and knowing that, seeing the ravished a suicide causes, I still tried to take my own life in May (and still think about it constantly even though I reluctantly think my survival instinct is too strong to overcome).
I simply believe that no one's grief is more important than another person's pain.

Exactly, my mother committed suicide last year and I am too glad she's no longer in pain, would do anything to see her again but still have personal feelings of suicide, were you two in a long lasting relationship?

 

[Trisolaris]

I cannot live in torture for the sake of others. If I had some degenerative or terminal disease I'm sure my loved ones wouldn't mind if I took my own life. Well that's what I have, an illness that won't make me suffer a year or two but for the rest of my life. This condition is not acceptable.

 

[lostmyself]

I agree with the statement as someone who lost a spouse to it and have children with said spouse. However, each and every situation is different as nobody is in the mind of that person whom ctb.

 

[Makko]

They can have my pain, I'm feeling generous for once.

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

I find the worst kind of accusations are from those who don't understand it yet judge those whom committed suicide. "They were a coward, a failure."

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

If I have the hot potato, I'll throw it.

 

[WornOutLife]

Unfortunately, I think the quote is right.
The pain my dad will have go to through is probably that the pain I feel by just living. Still, I don't think I'll manage to live in this world until he passes away.

 

[Lucien]

Life is damaging, violent and involves pain for all active participants. I didn't make the rules.

 

[Lolapeeps]

This quote is aimed at people who have very close loved ones in their lives, whom would be devastated, broken and scarred for life after the event. Have to say, it's the only quote that has made me think. Would it change my decision to quit life? Time will tell.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Trying to guilt people into doing or not doing something is a shitty thing to do anyway. Those people will get over the pain eventually.

 

[bad luck]

That is one of the problems, the other is that if I do not carry it with a huge sack of stones that each time drags me into the abyss. People I associate with can see me smile out of courtesy while having suicidal thoughts in the background. It is not human to live like this but people do not understand it.

I have a lot of shrapnel inside and 20 years of ups and downs. They never gave me social assistance despite needing it. In many respects, I see my health, my body, my mind go down every day.
.

 

[Eternal Pessimist]

The only people who are really going to care are my parents and my sister. I certainly don't feel any guilt about doing this to my parents. They chose to have me without my consent and I am free to choose to exit without theirs. I do feel bad for my sister since she is innocent in all of this, but again I didn't choose to be brought into this family dynamic and I don't feel any responsibility to stick around. Of course I would prefer not to cause any pain to my family or anyone really, but there is no easy way to do that.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm sorry (not sorry), but someone like me dying shouldn't make anyone feel as much pain as I do. If you do, whoever you are, frankly you're just plain stupid because I'm just not worth it. Now I know I can't control how someone would feel just as much as no one else can control how I'm feeling now but if you're really gonna get this upset over me then you're almost as disgustingly pathetic as I am because like I said I'm just not worth the trouble. I don't care who you are, unless you're my girlfriend who doesn't exist then I literally don't give a shit about your feelings about my death therefore you should stop giving a shit about it yourself and just be happy I'm gone and can no longer be a burden to myself and the world. It will save you a lot of grief.

 

[hfdepression30]

Sure, some people will be hurt and affected by it, but people need to realise that psychologically we're not the same and it's selfish to force or guilt someone into staying alive when they have no quality of life; especially mentally, emotionally or physically.

I know my suicide will hurt my family, but am I really meant to continue suffering day after day just to satisfy other people? It's not a strong enough reason for me. I've even concluded in my suicide note that in time I hope they learn to understand and accept my decision to leave.

 

[TooConscious]

This just reminds me of the unapologetic lack of empathy, compassion and intelligence of the average human being.

They haven't been unlucky enough to be in a situation where nobody care about them, so they say stupid little remarks like this to sound like they are bloody 'woke' talking about a serious subject.
They have either never felt bad enough they wished the suffering to stop to hope attempting not existing fixes the feelings of despair or however they feel.

Or they only compare to their personal situation where they feel loved enough that they will be hurting people around them if they weren't their, giving no thought to how patronising that is to those who are alone.