Suicide bereavement subreddit

[rottingaway26]

I have spent the last several days on this website reading people's stories and researching suicide methods. I'm glad this website is here. It's a comfort to know that I'm not alone and to have all of this information available to me. With that said, today I was researching depression on Reddit and I came across a post where a mother was announcing that she had lost her daughter to suicide. I wanted to know how she did it, so I started reading the comments. That took me to https://www.reddit.com/r/suicidebereavement

Just reading a couple of these stories on the bereavement subreddit had me in tears. I don't want to put my few friends and family through my suicide. Sorry I know this might draw some hate, but I just felt compelled to share the link for anyone on here who might benefit from it. No judgement. I'm still on the fence myself

 

[hellispink]

This seems like a post a pro lifer would do. Sorry if i am wrong. But its my opinion. Most already know the pain it could cause, they do not need more burden or something that they read making them feel guilty or doubtful about the life path they choosing.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't quite understand the point of sharing that link on here unless it's to guilt trip people. But in regards to this subject if people don't wish to deal with loss then they shouldn't so selfishly decide to procreate in the first place, nobody is obligated to suffer and delay their inevitable fate just because other people cruelly burdened them with existence. To exist in this world truly is such an awful thing.

 

[rottingaway26]

This seems like a post a pro lifer would do. Sorry if i am wrong. But its my opinion. Most already know the pain it could cause, they do not need more burden or something that they read making them feel guilty or doubtful about the life path they choosing.

No I'm not a pro lifer. But it did make me realize I'd gotten so obsessed with this website and how to make suicide happen, that i had numbed out the part of my brain that was responsible for fully considering my survivors.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

No I'm not a pro lifer. But it did make me realize I'd gotten so obsessed with this website and how to make suicide happen, that i had numbed out the part of my brain that was responsible for fully considering my survivors.

Looks like you should try to recover then. Good luck!

 

[Cryptonite]

What I don't like about this subreddit is how unfriendly it is to suicidal people. But on the other hand, it is quite understandable given their trauma.

 

[LittleJem]

Lots of us suffer for years and years so we don't upset our family. Like this weekend, me bored and lonely, crying walking down the street, agitated, so bored today I could not get out bed, then I took drugs and alcohol to get up and went for a walk while fantasising about someone slitting my throat. It's deeply unpleasant being awake. How long do I carry on for. I guess we all stick it out for as long as we can bear the suffering of living.

Everyone has to lose their loved ones sometime. And why would anyone want us to suffer.

Why anyone would say I had any kind of worthwhile life is absolutely beyond me. I've done this for so many years now not to upset people.

I did send my family by email a booklet called 'After a suicide' or some such several years ago.

Am currently laughing with relief, because suicide is literally the only thing that cheers me up.

 

[ExistHarm]

life is not black and white. you can be completely ready to die and can still consider how your loved ones will feel.
the truth is simply that everyone dies anyway, and getting hung up on the fact that someone chose to take reality into their own hands and kill themself does more harm than good for everyone.
nobody lights a candle for the 356 people who died from covid today, 26 april 2023.
the bereavement should be over the fact that someone was put into a situation that they felt they needed to do violence against themselves to escape in the first place.
the messes that are left over are important to discuss but are a different can of worms.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

You act like that what happens to our family has not crossed our mind. It's actually a big reason the majority of us are still here, and whether us still being here is a good thing is very debatable.

What kind if life is it to live for someone else when you're never able to be happy? When any and every waking moment is miserable? To what end? To live as a wage slave and die anyways?

Like another poster mentioned, one person in the family will die before the other, so there will be mourning regardless. I may as well have the say in when I die to ease my suffering.

 

[MildlyBetter]

This subreddit is very sad (honestly stories like that are half the reason I haven't ctb yet) but I feel like most people have considered things like that for a while before finally leaving. If you joined this website instead of immediately just trying hanging or something, you are probably not one to do something very impulsive.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I have spent the last several days on this website reading people's stories and researching suicide methods. I'm glad this website is here. It's a comfort to know that I'm not alone and to have all of this information available to me. With that said, today I was researching depression on Reddit and I came across a post where a mother was announcing that she had lost her daughter to suicide. I wanted to know how she did it, so I started reading the comments. That took me to https://www.reddit.com/r/suicidebereavement

Just reading a couple of these stories on the bereavement subreddit had me in tears. I don't want to put my few friends and family through my suicide. Sorry I know this might draw some hate, but I just felt compelled to share the link for anyone on here who might benefit from it. No judgement. I'm still on the fence myself

I often have the same thoughts and dilemma. Thinking of my family and currently, the possibility of a better future. The pandemic put me in a dark place for a bit, but I'm beginning to do better. You should check out the recovery section, you might like it.

 

[Ambivalent1]

That subreddit is pure manipulation with fake tales of woe by the same people who post on /nosleep. Pro lifers don't have feelings. They're hardly homo sapien sapiens.

 

[Aisley]

A grieving mother posted here, once. Said she was trying to understand, and was grateful everyone was so kind and compassionate to her daughter. Another parent came into the same thread to reply as well; i wish I had that post for you. Very sad stuff. Our solutions are often impediments to others, such is life. Literally so, and not just with catching buses. Like, life must consume life to live. Pockets of pus must be lanced, and severed limbs need cauterizing. Pain is the only way foreward oftentimes, and yes, that sucks. Stay on the fence for as long as you can, that's what most of us are doing here. An exercise in human tolerance and pain threshholds.

 

[dimstar]

Passing my pain to those I care about is why I'm still here. I think its selfish of me and selfish of them. But that's human, we all are after all. Everyone knows their situation best and only one who can understand and do what's best for your situation is you. The world will keep spinning, people may hurt but it's not even a blink of an eye in the big picture. It's not pro life to think about those things, I think its important to atleast. For me I'll ride the edge as long as I can and try not to get more people involved in my suffering but one day I will end my life.

 

[Unending]

That subreddit is pure manipulation with fake tales of woe by the same people who post on /nosleep. Pro lifers don't have feelings. They're hardly homo sapien sapiens.

Well with the internet you never know but I do feel confident that the majority of the posts on there are likely real and they really are having feelings no doubt. I do empathize with the pain of losing someone you love as it's a very heavy thing. However, I don't empathize with the mindset that you're entitled to trap someone you love in a life of suffering regardless of how much you don't want to mourn them.

On another note, I have seen some posts on there that contained sentiments such as despite feeling heartbroken, the family member saying that they were relieved their loved one was no longer suffering after however many years fighting a debilitation.

 

[Disaster]

I don't quite understand the point of sharing that link on here unless it's to guilt trip people. But in regards to this subject if people don't wish to deal with loss then they shouldn't so selfishly decide to procreate in the first place, nobody is obligated to suffer and delay their inevitable fate just because other people cruelly burdened them with existence. To exist in this world truly is such an awful thing.

I'm not reading that Reddit, but tbh to me discussing how the OP isn't sure about the decisions after reading something is much more appropriate here than other threads I've seen. I don't see a reason for this to drive hate. It's a pro-choice space, OP is not sure, and that's one of the possible outcomes of having a choice. We're not tricked to read that Reddit, are we? It's exactly what it says on the tin? Than I have no issues with that. People who stay around for their relatives or friends also deserve a space to talk openly. OP seems to be one of those people. Sure, one could be lying about the intentions, but anyone could lie about anything, so whatever. Being pro-choice is accepting someones decision to stay around for others. And providing a space to talk about it. Just like the reproduction-related pro-choice would mean also treating choices like "give birth to a sick child", "have seven kids" and alike also choices people can make.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I think it's good for the bereaved to have a space to talk and vent, I'm glad that sub exists, for their sake.

I do know that my suicide will cause pain to my loved ones. But I'll be doing it because I am in pain. It's either me suffering or them in the end.

 

[todienomore]

I guess I resent these people for not quite understanding how bad life is. At least some of them are getting suicidal ideation from their experiences.

Resisting the urge to rub salt in their wounds.

 

[depressedlover]

A grieving mother posted here, once. Said she was trying to understand, and was grateful everyone was so kind and compassionate to her daughter. Another parent came into the same thread to reply as well; i wish I had that post for you. Very sad stuff. Our solutions are often impediments to others, such is life. Literally so, and not just with catching buses. Like, life must consume life to live. Pockets of pus must be lanced, and severed limbs need cauterizing. Pain is the only way foreward oftentimes, and yes, that sucks. Stay on the fence for as long as you can, that's what most of us are doing here. An exercise in human tolerance and pain threshholds.

please share the thread if you don't mind,i'd like to see it's contents

I have spent the last several days on this website reading people's stories and researching suicide methods. I'm glad this website is here. It's a comfort to know that I'm not alone and to have all of this information available to me. With that said, today I was researching depression on Reddit and I came across a post where a mother was announcing that she had lost her daughter to suicide. I wanted to know how she did it, so I started reading the comments. That took me to https://www.reddit.com/r/suicidebereavement

Just reading a couple of these stories on the bereavement subreddit had me in tears. I don't want to put my few friends and family through my suicide. Sorry I know this might draw some hate, but I just felt compelled to share the link for anyone on here who might benefit from it. No judgement. I'm still on the fence myself

One side has to suffer in the long run.Both options are considered selfish so none is considered right.If one terms me choosing myself to avoid the pain as inconsiderate then i'd say they're also emotionless and heartless.We also need to be considered.Being suicidal doesn't mean we don't care,in fact we do more than the prolifers who's only mission is to stop us,not considering our situations.
There's no day that passes that you don't see a post where a member is worried about their family after cbt,have you ever seen any post where a prolifer is worried about what happens when a suicidal person doesn't ctb?

 

[Aisley]

please share the thread if you don't mind,i'd like to see it's contents

One side has to suffer in the long run.Both options are considered selfish so none is considered right.If one terms me choosing myself to avoid the pain as inconsiderate then i'd say they're also emotionless and heartless.We also need to be considered.Being suicidal doesn't mean we don't care,in fact we do more than the prolifers who's only mission is to stop us,not considering our situations.
There's no day that passes that you don't see a post where a member is worried about their family after cbt,have you ever seen any post where a prolifer is worried about what happens when a suicidal person doesn't ctb?

Https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/message-from-someone-left-behind.102866/

 

[Death is my goal]

i used to care about that, not anymore.
the longer and severe i suffer the less i care about such things.

 

[LastFlowers]

I've actually had the opposite reaction to that sub.
When I stumbled across it, most of what I saw was people blaming the suicidal and rubbing one another's shoulders to assure each other that no matter what, they are not at fault and that there was nothing they could have ever done to so much as improve the person's life or make them feel less alone in the end.
They insist on "mental illness" by default and the person having been fated to kill themselves in one way or another, last time I checked..
It's not people being honest, it's people lying to each other in order to cope or "move on", and it really bothered me since the dead are not there to give their side and clearly they (and their reasons) were being erased and scrubbed during the process of bereavement.
Few people really examined their own behavior or contributions to the problem, and when they did they would be convinced out of that critical thinking.
Nobody seemed to learn a thing..all that death and suffering in vain.

I think only once did I see a parent (set of parents I think) post, and they were so apathetic and disgusting about how they had legitimately pushed their child to suicide..foolishly offering examples that they didn't seem to realize made them look awful, that a lot of people actually took them to task, which was surprising to witness.
That was a rare occurrence..idk if anything has changed.

I do feel bad for children who have lost their parents though.
To bring someone into this world and then leave them like that, sometimes when they are still in desperate need of their mom or dad…it's one area of the suicide conversation where my thoughts go gray.

Personally I know my own family would not genuinely be negatively affected in the sense that they'd miss me, grieve me, or regret how they neglected and mistreated me.
The response will be pitiful and not about me.
They don't even care to know me when I'm alive, nor my reasons for suffering.
If they showed up on a sub like that, it would be for completely self-serving purposes.
They would want people to feel bad for them, reach for attention..be assured that I am ultimately to blame and use my death to that end.
Then forget about me, which would be easy since they hardly remember me even now.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think the worry of hurting others is what keeps a lot of us here. I ran a poll once because I was curious and many people here have been holding on for others for years, sometimes decades. I've had ideation for 33 years. It's not always been the same intensity but it's always been there. I'm holding on for my Dad.

There isn't an easy answer. Would our loved ones be more willing to let us go if they realised just HOW unhappy we are? I think many people simply don't let on how bad things are. I do understand where you're coming from though. I'm pretty distant from all my family/friends now- asides from my Dad. I do still wonder/worry about how it would affect them though.

Anyhow- if you're interested- here is the poll:

Those of you hanging on for the sake of others, how long have you been hanging on for? Poll

Just curious really. I know a lot of people here are hanging on because they worry about the impact it will have on people left behind. If this is you- how long have you been holding on for? Do you think you can continue to hold on for them? For me- I've had ideation for 33 years. The...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[LastFlowers]

No I'm not a pro lifer. But it did make me realize I'd gotten so obsessed with this website and how to make suicide happen, that i had numbed out the part of my brain that was responsible for fully considering my survivors.

I don't automatically consider all of these people "survivors", many are appropriating the suffering that the dead experienced and acting like it's their own…like they are the ultimate victim of another person's unbearable suffering when the true victim is too dead to say otherwise.
It's especially atrocious when it's the same people that treated the suicidal person with apathy..and may still be angry at them for inconveniencing their life.


*Edit: You have been a member here for two days and you already consider yourself having become "obsessed" with this site?

 

[depressedlover]

Https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/message-from-someone-left-behind.102866/

thanks

 

[Disaster]

I don't automatically consider all of these people "survivors", many are appropriating the suffering that the dead experienced and acting like it's their own…like they are the ultimate victim of another person's unbearable suffering when the true victim is too dead to say otherwise.
It's especially atrocious when it's the same people that treated the suicidal person with apathy..and may still be angry at them for inconveniencing their life.


*Edit: You have been a member here for two days and you already consider yourself having become "obsessed" with this site?

Anger is a normal part of grief, and those people deserve the space to express it.
Of course a right to die, like a right to live, is a part of ones body autonomy and it would be great if it wasn't violated. Still people DO have right to be pissed out about someone milking themselves. It's a normal reaction.
It's okay to be too triggered about their experience, and skip it and not interact with them.

 

[nightshade00]

I've done lots of reading in that subreddit over the years. I think I read it because I want to know what people might think/feel after I'm gone.

I agree with @Disaster ; they deserve a space to express their grief and connect with others who have experienced similar things. I can only hope that my loved ones will be able to find a community like that (or professional help) to process the grief and pain I cause by leaving.

I've seen posts on there from people who seem to genuinely understand why their loved one chose to ctb. It's still painful for them, but they understand why it happened and don't blame the person who's gone. I hope that's how my friends and family react.

 

[ChildrensITV]

Looks like you should try to recover then. Good luck!

lmao, yeah. if survival is easy then go do it. Good luck to op!

You act like that what happens to our family has not crossed our mind. It's actually a big reason the majority of us are still here, and whether us still being here is a good thing is very debatable.

What kind if life is it to live for someone else when you're never able to be happy? When any and every waking moment is miserable? To what end? To live as a wage slave and die anyways?

Like another poster mentioned, one person in the family will die before the other, so there will be mourning regardless. I may as well have the say in when I die to ease my suffering.

Yeah, you're def not [redacted]! You're far too fucking based, blackpilled and grounded in reality!