Suicide as a senior

[TBONTB]

I think my situation is a little different from others here (except for the not wanting to go on part). I'm over 60...old enough to know there are things wrong in my life that aren't going to get better. Shaking hands, numb feet, chronic pain, insecure housing. But young enough I know I could suffer for decades. I don't see a way forward for me. I'm struggling with the same things everyone else is here...what are the means I can use (man this is difficult to do) and how will it affect my family (although they won't have to take care of me). The wheels have fallen of my bus.

 

[Ligottian]

I hear you. I turned 65 in April. The best years, such as they were, are gone and not coming back.

"The future once stretched before me. Now it stretches behind." - Morrisey

 

[darksouls]

I am very sorry for your situation
hope you find the peace you desire

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Hey friend. I'm 59. I really don't have the issues (yet) you mentioned (just a minor pill-a-day one, but have had it for over 20 years), but we all know what aging brings with it. That's one of the biggest reasons I'm going to ctb. I'm 100% alone and can't fathom the idea of ending up in a nursing home situation, someday, being spoon-fed and having my butt wiped. There are other reasons, too. Pretty scary stuff, though, for me with the nursing home worries. As soon as I'm ready and get my affairs in order, I'm outta here with CO (Carbon Monoxide) in a tent.

I'm sorry for your situation and how life has brought you to this point.

 

[TBONTB]

I hear you. I turned 65 in April. The best years, such as they were, are gone and not coming back.

"The future once stretched before me. Now it stretches behind." - Morrisey

You got it.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I'm terrified of the prospect of retirement. Of reaching a point of not being able to work. Working, to support others, is the only reason I'm still here. Plus the effect it would have on my wife and adult children. The reality of work in the United States is we can lose our jobs at any time, no warning, no reason, and being older doesn't help. I have ancient relatives still alive and it looks to me like a useless nightmare. I think in a few years I'll stop going to the doctor for anything. It just isn't worth it. The way the world is structured now, anything gained such as wisdom and insight, is worthless.

 

[TBONTB]

I'm terrified of the prospect of retirement. Of reaching a point of not being able to work. Working, to support others, is the only reason I'm still here. Plus the effect it would have on my wife and adult children. The reality of work in the United States is we can lose our jobs at any time, no warning, no reason, and being older doesn't help. I have ancient relatives still alive and it looks to me like a useless nightmare. I think in a few years I'll stop going to the doctor for anything. It just isn't worth it. The way the world is structured now, anything gained such as wisdom and insight, is worthless.

Yeah, retirement isn't what it's cracked up to be. If you have anything you could volunteer at and you have the chance to start now, that might help. I tried some things and they were mildly distracting. On the doctor thing...not sure if you've ever seen an article by an oncologist named Ezekiel Emmanuel called "why I hope to die at 75". He is anti-suicide but he also intends to stop accepting medical care at 75. No cancer screenings, no pacemakers, no antibiotics, etc. It's a thought provoking read.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

imo it's hidden that the risk increases exponentially l after age 60 for several horrible tortures like cancer , stroke, alsheimers , dementia , many more . imo people can be tortured for years by these diseases

all we hear about is "the golden years"

 

[Apathy79]

I'm 45 and still have a grandfather alive (he's 101). So you're certainly right it could be a long stretch yet, potentially almost as long as I've been alive!

Last time I saw him he didn't remember me but he told me stories about the nursing home anyway, frequently repeating himself. When I had to leave he held my arm and looked at me, almost pleading with his eyes not to go, although he didn't push it. His days are spent sitting in that room watching the God awful TV. He can't focus on reading anymore, can't go for a walk (wheelchair bound since about 95), can't remember his family or his past so they've almost entirely stopped visiting, can't control his bowels anymore, and his only regular human contact are with the nurses that help clean him up which he is ashamed about, and visitors for an hour maybe once a week.

This is a man with a huge extended family, who was happily married for over 60 years, very widely respected and influential for most of his life. Almost a model life. Someone I have admired my whole life (still do frankly). But he hasn't wanted to be alive for a long time now (since his wife died ~15 years ago, and severely since he's been wheelchair bound). And he just keeps living. There's no way out for him.

I don't think we're designed to live that long. I definitely understand wanting to get out while you still have control over that decision. I doubt anyone would begrudge it. You can even control to some extent the final experiences with family. It's beautiful in a way.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

imo it's hidden that the risk increases exponentially l after age 60 for several horrible tortures like cancer , stroke, alsheimers , dementia , many more . imo people can be tortured for years by these diseases

all we hear about is "the golden years"

No, plenty of people talk about the increased risk of certain health issues that come with old age. These are far from being "hidden risks". This isn't something that is swept under the rug, lol. The thing is, plenty of people are still able to enjoy their older years of life.

It's almost like life is complex and having an overly pessimistic view of the world is very simplistic and makes you no better than the people who have an overly optimistic view of the world./s


Anyway, I understand that old age isn't something you are too fond of personally OP, and that is fine. From my understanding, the success rate for older people who ctb is generally higher compared to that of younger people, so the odds are more in your favour compared to most on this site (myself included). I'm sorry that you are suffering, and I'm especially sorry about you not having access to secure housing. Secure housing should honestly just be a basic human right.

 

[Ligottian]

I watched both of my parents die hard deaths in their 80's. My poor mother, toward the end, was reduced to asking "Is it time for another Ambien (benzo med)?". No thanks, I'll skip those golden years.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I'm 56 and can totally relate. I suffer from major depressive disorder and see nothing but sickness and decrepitness going forward. I would like to end it now but lacking the courage. I pray to die in my sleep every night.

 

[quietwoods]

While I believe MAiD should be a right for most sane people, I've especially believed it should always be a right for those 60 and over, for any reason, at any time. Watched grandparents linger on way past the point of life being worth living, and now parents entering that stage as well.

Increasingly starting to believe medical care for those 85 and over should be restricted to basic management of chronic conditions and palliative care, as well. Make people as comfortable as they want, but not continuing drastic life-extending care. So many resources get poured into keeping people alive, with little thought given to both the financial and human cost.

 

[TBONTB]

I'm 45 and still have a grandfather alive (he's 101). So you're certainly right it could be a long stretch yet, potentially almost as long as I've been alive!

Last time I saw him he didn't remember me but he told me stories about the nursing home anyway, frequently repeating himself. When I had to leave he held my arm and looked at me, almost pleading with his eyes not to go, although he didn't push it. His days are spent sitting in that room watching the God awful TV. He can't focus on reading anymore, can't go for a walk (wheelchair bound since about 95), can't remember his family or his past so they've almost entirely stopped visiting, can't control his bowels anymore, and his only regular human contact are with the nurses that help clean him up which he is ashamed about, and visitors for an hour maybe once a week.

This is a man with a huge extended family, who was happily married for over 60 years, very widely respected and influential for most of his life. Almost a model life. Someone I have admired my whole life (still do frankly). But he hasn't wanted to be alive for a long time now (since his wife died ~15 years ago, and severely since he's been wheelchair bound). And he just keeps living. There's no way out for him.

I don't think we're designed to live that long. I definitely understand wanting to get out while you still have control over that decision. I doubt anyone would begrudge it. You can even control to some extent the final experiences with family. It's beautiful in a way.

Yes, you paint the picture. I'm not ill enough to have support from my family so the Swiss option is out. But I would like a world where it was accepted to say.."I've made this decision family, let's have a goodbye and I'll peacefully lie down" I wish...

While I believe MAiD should be a right for most sane people, I've especially believed it should always be a right for those 60 and over, for any reason, at any time. Watched grandparents linger on way past the point of life being worth living, and now parents entering that stage as well.

Increasingly starting to believe medical care for those 85 and over should be restricted to basic management of chronic conditions and palliative care, as well. Make people as comfortable as they want, but not continuing drastic life-extending care. So many resources get poured into keeping people alive, with little thought given to both the financial and human cost.

Exactly. My desire to leave before things get bad isn't well accepted, but those long, expensive, meaningless, burdensome years. I don't want them.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really sounds like you've suffered a lot, I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[LeavingEarly]

Old age looks terrible. I am 38 and already ready to go.

 

[bankai]

I completely understand Opie. Old age is terrifying. Loss of mental faculties. Loss of our physical ability. I want to go on the very onset of these things.

 

[TBONTB]

Old age looks terrible. I am 38 and already ready to go.

38 wasn't too bad for me. Here's hoping you end up loving your 60s.

 

[Apathy79]

I'm 45 and still have a grandfather alive (he's 101). So you're certainly right it could be a long stretch yet, potentially almost as long as I've been alive!

Last time I saw him he didn't remember me but he told me stories about the nursing home anyway, frequently repeating himself. When I had to leave he held my arm and looked at me, almost pleading with his eyes not to go, although he didn't push it. His days are spent sitting in that room watching the God awful TV. He can't focus on reading anymore, can't go for a walk (wheelchair bound since about 95), can't remember his family or his past so they've almost entirely stopped visiting, can't control his bowels anymore, and his only regular human contact are with the nurses that help clean him up which he is ashamed about, and visitors for an hour maybe once a week.

This is a man with a huge extended family, who was happily married for over 60 years, very widely respected and influential for most of his life. Almost a model life. Someone I have admired my whole life (still do frankly). But he hasn't wanted to be alive for a long time now (since his wife died ~15 years ago, and severely since he's been wheelchair bound). And he just keeps living. There's no way out for him.

I don't think we're designed to live that long. I definitely understand wanting to get out while you still have control over that decision. I doubt anyone would begrudge it. You can even control to some extent the final experiences with family. It's beautiful in a way.

Speak of the devil, he died today. Peacefully in his sleep. Nice result.