Discussion suicide and guilt

[kinggold65]

I so want to commit suicide with SN. I want to end this sad and pointless existence of mine. Now, I've become a burden to everyone. The only thing holding me back is destroying my family because of my suicide. Thinking about it destroys me. The guilt destroys me. It's the only reason I'm staying alive, even though I don't want to live anymore. Is anyone in my situation? Can you give me some advice? I can't take it anymore.

 

[itsgone2]

Yes. No advice because I don't think there is any. In our case it probably is selfish. I guess we just have to accept that. It's horrible. It's such a terrible fate

 

[meddle]

you are not a burden i have the same situation, hanging there for my family, so i cant advice anything... have you tried getting professional help?

 

[kinggold65]

you are not a burden i have the same situation, hanging there for my family, so i cant advice anything... have you tried getting professional help?

yes, I went to several psychologists and psychiatrists but I had a bad experience

 

[meddle]

yes, I went to several psychologists and psychiatrists but I had a bad experience

sorry to hear that. doctors suck i also went to several psychiatrists and psychologists, but it didnt really make any difference

 

[endlesstranquility]

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm stuck here waiting for my Dad to go first. It's hard to give advice though really. Other than- just trying to get through day by day. I rely massively on distraction when I can. Trying to get lost in games, films, work, this forum etc.

I suppose for me- things would have to get a lot worse for me to be able to justify my suicide to myself. If they did/ do though, I think I would be trying to have a conversation with my Dad to try to get him to understand and to warn him of what's likely coming. It's not always a good idea though. Some families freak out.

I'm so sorry though. It's horrible to feel so trapped.

 

[random_user]

I cannot give you any advice, but maybe it helps you to know that I am in a similar situation. If it weren't for my family and friends and me not wanting to ruin their lives, I would've been gone a long time ago.

Personally I have decided to at least try to get assisted suicide at first. That way I can at least think for myself that I've tried to find a way to minimise trauma for my surroundings. Though of course that is only possible in very few countries and I am lucky to live in one where it's technically possible at all...

 

[not yet]

I'm in the same situation. Although this advice may be inappropriate, the only thing I can advise is to keep looking for a purpose to willingly live for, maybe making new friend could help with it

 

[broken_stoic]

Would need a lot of details to give any real advice. I think everyone deserves the right to make their own decision. That said, if you are still young, if you haven't tried all of the possibilities and you have supportive people in your life, I would really factor that in. For some people, it really does get better if you keep going. I will say especially if you are < 30 my bias would be to say to stick with it, express how much you really need help, and find someone who will advocate for you until you get a good psychiatrist/therapist. It does take work, and if you're not in a good place it can be a heaven-send to have someone who will do some of that work for you.

Ultimately it's up to you. I don't know your situation, but do your best to consider what you really want and what possibilities might still be ahead of you.

 

[yosukelvr]

i understand. anytime i think about or plan my suicide i feel selfish and i just can't stop crying. guilt is a hard thing to deal with.