Suicidal over really minor problems

[tipoftheRGB]

I am suicidal over really minor (to other people and society) problems and I don't know how to recover because no one empathises because I don't have "real" problems. I'm not mentally ill. I've just always known there are some problems I can't accept in life and I have them and I can't accept it. I've told friends, family and therapists and no one gets my perspective or explains to me in a convincing way why I should live. I just don't know where to go from here.

 

[vinvini]

I relate. It's really isolating to feel like no one gets it… I'm pretty neurotic and irrational, so it's hard for me to express what my problems are to others. But I hope you find people around you who emphasize with you even though they have different issues. Maybe it's cognitive distortions? I'm not sure if there's a specific problem bothering you or its that no one seems to understand, but I'm sorry

 

[ireallywasnttogopls]

 

[Someplace_nice]

Most of the people I knew were like that to me, all my immediate friends and family kept telling to get over myself, my friends went so far as to say that I was suicidal for attention. My therapist knew my family was abusive, I never told her about how abusive my friends were. My other friends outside my norm didn't know so I had no one not toxic telling me that I wasn't crazy. Just remember that your feelings are valid, you'll find those people who'll believe you. Just stay strong.

 

[Like_the_Angel]

I was like you then I went through so many traumatic events and thinking how spoiled was I, but the truth is that everyone react based on their perspective and there's nothing wrong
That's our instinct it will never change, being suicidal over different perspectives doesn't change the fact we all suffer inside our mind

 

[tipoftheRGB]

I relate. It's really isolating to feel like no one gets it… I'm pretty neurotic and irrational, so it's hard for me to express what my problems are to others. But I hope you find people around you who emphasize with you even though they have different issues. Maybe it's cognitive distortions? I'm not sure if there's a specific problem bothering you or its that no one seems to understand, but I'm sorry

Yeah its a double edged sword. Like on the one hand, I'm grateful I don't have worse problems like some other people on here have. But on the other hand, I can't get support because my problems aren't "real" even though they are to me. I'm currently in the 3rd year of a mental breakdown and I have been planning my suicide for 7 months over my problems that aren't "real."

I'm also very neurotic but I'm not irrational- I just take things a bit too far sometimes. Everyone says its cognitive distortions but they also say whatever it takes to make me not try to kill myself instead of the truth which makes sense. Its a specific problem that no one understands. Thanks ❤

Most of the people I knew were like that to me, all my immediate friends and family kept telling to get over myself, my friends went so far as to say that I was suicidal for attention. My therapist knew my family was abusive, I never told her about how abusive my friends were. My other friends outside my norm didn't know so I had no one not toxic telling me that I wasn't crazy. Just remember that your feelings are valid, you'll find those people who'll believe you. Just stay strong.

Thats upsetting, I'm sorry you went through that :( I hope you are doing better now and surrounded by better people now.

Tbf in my case, people believe that I am suffering and suicidal, they just can't understand my reasons because they are so minor even though to me they are massive. Thanks.

I was like you then I went through so many traumatic events and thinking how spoiled was I, but the truth is that everyone react based on their perspective and there's nothing wrong
That's our instinct it will never change, being suicidal over different perspectives doesn't change the fact we all suffer inside our mind

How old were you when you were like that before the traumatic events? Because sheltered young people definitely can be like that. But I'm 28 and I really feel like I understand what I can and can't live through. And there are certain minor problems I just can't accept in life. Like I reckon I'd do better with someone's objectively worse problems than my objectively minor problems. Just some specific things are intolerable to me and other types of problems aren't.

True. I know people who have killed themselves over things that I thought were minor but I recognise that to those people, it must have been so much worse. I guess we all have our weak spots and they are very different depending on the person. Thanks.

View attachment 166040

So true. Love that pic. Tbf I know people who have objectively worse problems (according to society and other people) that I could have skated through. But I am suicidal over objectively minor problems. So I can be the big dog in some cases but in this case in particular, I'm the small dog. So I look weak even though I know I could handle worse than this. But I am stuck on this minor stuff.

 

[ma0]

I constantly feel like my problems don't matter in the grand scheme of things, but I can assure you, nothing can invalidate how you feel. If something bothers you or makes you feel depressed, it should still be taken seriously, no matter what it is.

If people aren't taking you seriously then that says more about them than it does about you. I hope you can make peace with whatever's troubling you sometime in the near future

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

The million dollar question is...minor to who? I wanted to commit suicide over a coworker bully once. Very few people understood it but that didn't make the feelings any less real.

 

[tipoftheRGB]

I constantly feel like my problems don't matter in the grand scheme of things, but I can assure you, nothing can invalidate how you feel. If something bothers you or makes you feel depressed, it should still be taken seriously, no matter what it is.

If people aren't taking you seriously then that says more about them than it does about you. I hope you can make peace with whatever's troubling you sometime in the near future

True. I feel like depression and suicide idealation are evolved reactions to specific problems. I feel like society downplays certain problems and also overmedicalises us sometimes acting like we are the problem instead of recognising that our problems are real.

People do take me seriously, they just don't understand me and no one can support me because they don't get me. Thanks. I hope you feel better in the near future too. ❤

 

[ella24]

People will always pretend they don't understand your mental problems. Maybe because they don't want to, care about it or its just easier.
I had a big event in my life that left me with PTSD. No one around me cared about it because they didn't saw what i saw. So i could understand why they espected me to be OK, but that doesnt mean i should be.
Make your own rules and habits, its your mind and life not theirs and you dont need to accept that u are diferent, they need to.
And why you should live? I had this question so many times. The reason you should is that not knowing whats happening tomorrow its a mystery that worth living for.
Take care!

 

[tipoftheRGB]

The million dollar question is...minor to who? I wanted to commit suicide over a coworker bully once. Very few people understood it but that didn't make the feelings any less real.

Minor to society, friends, family and therapists. But not to me. I googled if the media had reported people who committed suicide over this and 3 people have. But the comments were all like "but it can't have been over that. It must have been something else." I've seen other people in real life struggle with it as well tbf. But it feels like some problems are universally accepted in society and others are looked down on.

Yeah the feelings are real. But what do we do when we can't cope but no one will accept or support us?

 

[SecretDissociation]

People just don't understand what its like having this thought process and beliefs. I think it's pretty rational. Especially when these little problems pile on top of eachother. And we have different coping thresholds. One persons 1kg is another persons 10 kg. And it's not like there's a support system for these little problems. Even when there is, it's very surface level. These small problems can have rippling effects. But of course, nobody cares until our reactions/coping mechanisms gets 'bad enough' to the point that we are threatening are own lives. And by then it's too late.

Pathetic really. (not you, but this life thing we have ourselves wrapped in)

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

The truth of the matter is...suicidality isn't an emotion so much as a neural pathway. Some of us just have it. I have bipolar 1 with psychotic features, or schizoaffective disorder, or whatever fancy name they give it any given week. Suicidal ideation with those conditions is just Tuesday. It doesn't need a reason to exist. It exists because the mind is bored, or you banged your elbow, or there is a typhoon in Hokkaido Japan. If you can be happy for no reason...why not suicidal?

Minor to society, friends, family and therapists. But not to me. I googled if the media had reported people who committed suicide over this and 3 people have. But the comments were all like "but it can't have been over that. It must have been something else." I've seen other people in real life struggle with it as well tbf. But it feels like some problems are universally accepted in society and others are looked down on.

Yeah the feelings are real. But what do we do when we can't cope but no one will accept or support us?

That's a tough question when we can't even get support for so-called "real" reasons for suicide. That's a huge part of why this community exists and why I have found it so valuable.

 

[ultraparadise]

It hasn't been a long time since I felt this way (literally 1 week since I felt this way), every tiny thing that happened to me felt way too big for me to handle. I don't know what caused it, but I fixed it and gained more perspective into life.

I used to have and still have a gambling addiction. The problem was I always kept winning overall, and only lost some of the winnings. I would never lose ALL of my money but I would lose amounts that absolutely made me go insane and suicidal, even though I never lost all of it. This was a cycle that kept happening over and over and over and over again.

UNTIL 1 week ago on Friday, I won a shit ton of money and before you know it I lost ALL of what I had just won and a shit ton from my own pocket on top... The next day I kept thinking about things and realized instead of spending time crying about what had happened and how I'm so bad at life, I instead decided to start actually trying and have already come a great way from what I was 1 week ago.


TLDR; I had to have a big enough event happen that finally made me realize that all my previous small problems really are small and tiny, and that I can actually turn my life around.

It still will be hard not to think about what happened and feel bad about it but things WILL get better.

 

[wantingdignity]

I feel like this sometimes. For most people, the idea of killing themselves sounds completely irrational and crazy. For me, I've been having to hunt for reasons not to. There is so much bad that choosing to live sounds absurd. I'm still at a spot now where I am living in order to not cause other people grief. I'm getting better, but I still wish there was a way that I could disappear without hurting anyone.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Once a problem makes you suicidal it's not a minor problem anymore!

I constantly hear that my problem isn't real and that I have a good life and that I just have to start over again but nobody actually presents the solution to the problem that would solve my issue - hence it may seem minor to others yet it's still a big problem for me.

 

[csdfghjjk_user]

Do you want to talk about the problems? I think it's astounding that you found 3 people that commited suicide due to having similar problems. How did this make you feel? I hope you can get the support you need and wish you all the best.

I have no reason to be suicidal and talking about my reasons makes me feel egoistic and pathetic. Maybe it's aimlessness, bitterness, idk. But it's a double edged sword bc by being hard on yourself bc of these reasons they automatically become bigger and everything intensifies. And I can only relate, and I know this, and still STILL I can't get out of my mind. And that is the actual problem. Not the initial problems I guess ..?

 

[tipoftheRGB]

Do you want to talk about the problems? I think it's astounding that you found 3 people that commited suicide due to having similar problems. How did this make you feel? I hope you can get the support you need and wish you all the best.

I have no reason to be suicidal and talking about my reasons makes me feel egoistic and pathetic. Maybe it's aimlessness, bitterness, idk. But it's a double edged sword bc by being hard on yourself bc of these reasons they automatically become bigger and everything intensifies. And I can only relate, and I know this, and still STILL I can't get out of my mind. And that is the actual problem. Not the initial problems I guess ..?

I would love to talk about my problems, can I PM you?

3 people committing suicide over the same problems made me feel like there are some problems that are real and serious and society/other people don't take them seriously. In the comments to the articles, people accused them of being crazy and dismissed their problems. When I ctb, people will dismiss me as crazy instead of accepting I had real problems. Its just easier to bin someone off as crazy or mentally ill instead of accepting that some problems are real and unfixable. Thanks. I'm on my second therapist but nothing is working. Each week I get closer to ctb. I don't want to ctb but I feel like I have no other choice.

Do you want to talk about your problems with me as well? I won't judge because we seem to be in the same boat. For the being hard on yourself which makes the problem worse, I recommend a book called "reasons to stay alive" by matt haig- it helped me to understand that having a mental breakdown or mental health issues over something minor or nonexistent is not that bad or rare. I'm just stuck on the initial problems that got me here myself.

 

[Linda]

I was just about to ask you what are your problems, when your previous post appeared. If you would like to share them with me too, either here or in a PM, feel free.

 

[tipoftheRGB]

Once a problem makes you suicidal it's not a minor problem anymore!

I constantly hear that my problem isn't real and that I have a good life and that I just have to start over again but nobody actually presents the solution to the problem that would solve my issue - hence it may seem minor to others yet it's still a big problem for me.

True! It sounds like we are in a similar boat- do you want to PM to discuss our issues? Maybe we can solve each others problems or maybe we have the same problem who knows.

 

[csdfghjjk_user]

I would love to talk about my problems, can I PM you?

3 people committing suicide over the same problems made me feel like there are some problems that are real and serious and society/other people don't take them seriously. In the comments to the articles, people accused them of being crazy and dismissed their problems. When I ctb, people will dismiss me as crazy instead of accepting I had real problems. Its just easier to bin someone off as crazy or mentally ill instead of accepting that some problems are real and unfixable. Thanks. I'm on my second therapist but nothing is working. Each week I get closer to ctb. I don't want to ctb but I feel like I have no other choice.

Do you want to talk about your problems with me as well? I won't judge because we seem to be in the same boat. For the being hard on yourself which makes the problem worse, I recommend a book called "reasons to stay alive" by matt haig- it helped me to understand that having a mental breakdown or mental health issues over something minor or nonexistent is not that bad or rare. I'm just stuck on the initial problems that got me here myself.

Yes sure, we can talk over PM. I am a relatively new user so I don't know if PM works yet.

Thank you for recommending the book, I'll have a look!

 

[Forever Sleep]

I always wonder really in this type of scenario. That there must be something more major going on if little things are triggering. Basically- if we can't or don't want to cope with the minor inconveniences in life, that seems (to me) to point to bigger problems with life overall.

Maybe anhedonia/ apathy so that nothing seems worthwhile so, the minor problems aren't balanced out. Maybe a difficulty in coping generally in life, so that stuff which seems easy to others seems very stressful to us.

There's that whole saying: 'The straw that broke the camels back.' I feel like sometimes it is the smaller things that point to us struggling in a bigger way.

I could be wrong of course. I think depression can strike some people out of the blue. A friend once experienced very low mood and an inability to cope after changing medication.

Like others say though- don't feel you need to belittle it if it is causing you serious difficulties. I'm sorry you aren't being taken seriously to be offered help.